To delete social media (FB) because it’s so bloody depressing..?

[Lovemusic33]

I use Facebook a lot, I like to see what family are doing and talk on groups (both my dc’s have sn’s so some days it’s my only contact with the outside world), but lately it’s been so depressing, everyone seems to be ill, a relative has so called flu and has been posting every detail about how awful she feels for the past week, updates about if she has managed to get out of bed today and if she has eaten , and she’s not the only one, there are 4 or 5 others who are also ill and have to share everything. Then there’s the family member that bought my dc’s a toy from Poundland for Christmas (nothing wrong with this if your skint), a week after Christmas she posted how they had been out and bought themselves a new xbox and a laptop, had to share exactly how much they payed for the items, where they bought them and then updates about how brilliant said x box is. Then there’s the lady who keeps posting about what a awful day she’s having, everyone asks her ‘what’s wrong’ and she replies with ‘I will message you’, FFS, if your not going to tell the whole of Fb what’s wrong why bother posting?

FB just seems to be full of people moaning about being ill, bragging about what they spend their money on. Photos of peoples dinner (plates of vomit) and people posting a couple words without explaining what they actually mean.

And don’t get me started on the one who has to post a photo of every movement their child makes, every new outfit and every new food tried.

If it wasn’t for the support network (the ASD community), I would happily delete it. People need to cheer the fuck up and stop moaning, get out in the real world and stop telling everyone how much they have spent on things.

I’m sure I’m not BU but I’m sure someone will come along and tell me I am

FB is what you make it. If you have FB friends who are whingy arseholes, unfriend them or unfollow their posts. If you have friends who are show-off arseholes, ditto.

Although, if you don't want people to post enthusing about their good times or lamenting about their bad times, I'm not sure what you do want them to post. 'Hello everyone, I'm having a mildly pleasant time' wouldn't be very interesting.

'Consent' is definitely an essential term when we think about this. Our children's consent....our friends consent...our own consent when we click 'agree'. Not wanting to get all black mirror but what are we agreeing to in an ever changing world? Are we agreeing to things that we would not in the future? Or that we simply don't understand. It especially is worrying people think they see what they choose. This is the one solid fact we do not need a debate on sadly.

@Trytrytry2018 haha! Yes it is also very very boring really isn't it. (Though probably only as boring as me ranting on).
The people who post interesting content are perhaps also not really on there anymore and have moved on to other online platforms too

I had a cull on mine new years day. Its great. Only have dogs on my facebook feeds now and mums stuff

That is just your experience of FB ! And think about it, now you are moaning on Mumsnet!
Basically FB is a tool and you can use it how you want to. I am very fond of my FB pals and have a lot of fun with the site.

@Lovemusic33 I honestly think the support network you rely on there could be found on other social media platforms or through other internet forums ect. If you feel like this about Facebook it's your brain telling you to get out I think. Create WhatsApp groups, use mumsnet, do Instagram (lots of inspiration on there) or tweet (). I'm sure I've left loads of other things off that would do all the things Facebook dies for you but without the gubbins you hate and without the anxiety.
They are a powerful giant, but you do not need them, they need you

Mumsnet (hopefully ) do not know who I am, where I live, or what my child/children look like though. It does not know my political leanings, or my religious views if I don't express them. It does not know (though my 'friends') huge amounts of personal information about me, my family, my 'shopping habbits' online. The list is endless and I know data protection has been re examined a lot in the last few years the damage is done with Facebook as it was a head of its time on so much. It still is evolving faster then the law and as it's a world wide thing it is not subject to the same kind of scrutiny a local firm/business may be

@CeciliaBartolli

Can you unfollow the people who are annoying you?

I know what you mean? I get some great updates and articles to read - the rest is rubbish!

I only check if someone mentions me. I use FB messenger an awful lot for chats

@funnyfoursome do you ever feel though that the updates are not entirely your choice? Or that they are too 'your choice'. It (as a tool as people keep saying) is actually designed to filter to you what you 'like' often. This polarises people's views and is culturally very dangerous. People find it harder and harder to understand others different opinions this way. I think we see it on here every day the 'polarising effect of facebook' in the way people debate and act towards a different opinion, not just on online forums like mumsnet. But also in the real world so to speak.
Very left views, very right... constantly perpetuated by online media, especially and including Facebook

Cecilia yes I’m moaning on MN but it’s a bit different, no one actually knows who I am, it’s not as personal?

Most of my ASD support network are people I have been online friends with for years, some are MN friends from a long time ago, without these people I would be lost, being a mum to children with sn’s can be very lonely.

I think I will just unfollow a few more people but I can’t unfollow all of them, as I said before they are close family members and I do like to see what their children are up to from time to time and I like to know what’s going on. I just don’t understand why the select few seem to post more negative posts than positives. Life’s not always easy and we all go through some tough times but I don’t see why every detail should be posted on FB.

I also use messenger to stay in touch with a few people, I post on some Fb pages that are linked to my hobbies and I have 2 business pages which are linked to my main account. Maybe I should just unfollow everyone and just use it to post on the pages I post on . I’m sure FB never used to be this gloomy.

Another one here who deactivated it on 1st January! Haven't missed it (so far!) and find I'm making more effort to contact my real friends. Plus my head feels less full of nonsense /things I don't need to know

Long gone from it, don’t miss it, don’t even think about it.

Amazingly, my friends and family manage to stay in touch

I also deactivated over christmas and haven't bothered logging back in. My issue wasn't that I found it depressing, but rather that I felt like I knew too much about the lives of people I rarely see, and that was making them have an importance in my life that was unnatural if that makes sense. I much prefer instagram as my social media of choice.
I do agree with the pp who said that your facebook is what you make it - it is not facebook that is depressing, it is the people in your life who are which is a shame.

Facebook knows no more about you than Google/ amazon et al. I’m another who likes FB, I unfollow, unfriend or block anyone who is annoying. I like seeing what friends and family are doing but don’t post much myself. I also find it’s very useful to know what’s happening in our village. I have made friends through local events posted on FB. If it’s adversely affecting your mental health you should bin it, but if it isn’t then it isn’t toxic.

I’ve never had issue with Facebook. Have a handful of friends whose posts I enjoy reading and use the local community groups. If someone irritated I would and have deleted them. Or hit the blessed Snooze button.

I deleted it year ago. Never looked back!

schnubbins you don't need to block her, you could "unfollow" her instead and just look at her page as and when you feel like it rather than have her clog your feed up with her shite.

Well people can't win... you don't like moans, people talking about being ill, couple photos,kids photos, food photos, new gadgets photos.
If they're miserable they're depressing, if they're not they're boring or bragging.

Delete it if you want to, anyone can and should if they feel it's impacting their life, but it's not FB's fault... it's the people you have in your life.. and sometimes the person using it themselves.

I hate political stuff on Facebook. Everyone exists in their own virtue signalling echo chamber. I know several people on fb who in real life are living as fairly center right voters but are somehow angry radical extreme lefties on fb. It’s either baffling or hypocritical or both.

I hate political stuff on Facebook

Then why have it on your FB? You choose it, you don't have to see it.

Why do people not understand how facebook works?

Sounds like you need new friends rather than to get rid of Facebook.