To delete social media (FB) because it’s so bloody depressing..?

[Lovemusic33]

I use Facebook a lot, I like to see what family are doing and talk on groups (both my dc’s have sn’s so some days it’s my only contact with the outside world), but lately it’s been so depressing, everyone seems to be ill, a relative has so called flu and has been posting every detail about how awful she feels for the past week, updates about if she has managed to get out of bed today and if she has eaten , and she’s not the only one, there are 4 or 5 others who are also ill and have to share everything. Then there’s the family member that bought my dc’s a toy from Poundland for Christmas (nothing wrong with this if your skint), a week after Christmas she posted how they had been out and bought themselves a new xbox and a laptop, had to share exactly how much they payed for the items, where they bought them and then updates about how brilliant said x box is. Then there’s the lady who keeps posting about what a awful day she’s having, everyone asks her ‘what’s wrong’ and she replies with ‘I will message you’, FFS, if your not going to tell the whole of Fb what’s wrong why bother posting?

FB just seems to be full of people moaning about being ill, bragging about what they spend their money on. Photos of peoples dinner (plates of vomit) and people posting a couple words without explaining what they actually mean.

And don’t get me started on the one who has to post a photo of every movement their child makes, every new outfit and every new food tried.

If it wasn’t for the support network (the ASD community), I would happily delete it. People need to cheer the fuck up and stop moaning, get out in the real world and stop telling everyone how much they have spent on things.

I’m sure I’m not BU but I’m sure someone will come along and tell me I am

YANBU. I have deleted ‘friends’ purely because they were so bloody depressing and every post on their wall was bad news.

One even took to posting bad things that actually had not happened but ‘what if’ . Life’s too short for that sort of negativity.

FB can't be everything to everyone.

OK has unfriended someone because of her happy with boyfriend pictures etc, pp is unhappy because of the negativity.

Either be very picky with the people you follow, or accept it can't be everything you want it to be imo.

A lot of people will say “Facebook is a case of what you make of it and it all depends who you add” but I think that’s balls and the whole thing is toxic.

I'm one of those people who always say to threads like this that FB is just a tool, because it is. It is what you make it, ie who you follow, and it's so simple to regulate. But if people find it too complex to use properly, and find their feeds are full of stuff they hate, then that's their fault not FB's, and perhaps they shouldn't use it. Oddly enough, my feed isn't remotely toxic because I'm very choosy who and what I follow. I follow interesting or funny pages, and am in groups that advise on my interests. Consequently I find it quite a fun way of passing the time.

OP, if you use FB as it's intended it will be customised to your likes/dislikes. It's shit because you've not done that. My FB experience is nothing like yours.

Facebook is a powerful tool though...look at the American presidential election

And as regards child protection ect it's an absolute beast

I genuinely think there may be a time when people move on from Facebook, apparently this is already happening, and use other online platforms more/instead like Twitter/Instagram/linkedin ect

It's toxic only if you have the wrong state of mind.

i like seeing my friends and family's achievements, I am genuinely pleased for their lovely holidays and sport victories. If I don't care about something, I just...ignore and scroll. It's a great way to keep in touch without pushing things into people's face. You send an email to someone directly, Facebook you leave it open for people to follow or ignore.

it's also great for selling crap locally

A lot of people will say “Facebook is a case of what you make of it and it all depends who you add” but I think that’s balls and the whole thing is toxic

It's not balls at all. It is LITERALLY what you make it. Everything you see on there is what you have chosen to see. If its toxic, you have made it so.

I do also think Facebook as a larger concept is a toxic thing (personal opinion alert though so understand people love it and get on well with they way it operates). There is a lot of controversy about the information it filters (I am currently studying this on my MSc) and the way it operates on a larger, less personal, scale. So many implications from its invention, good and bad. And much controversy over the tax they pay too.

I'm just personally happy to not have 'a profile's I guess when I've added all this up as well as how it can be also such a time waster for me too

use other online platforms more/instead like
Twitter/Instagram/linkedin ect

I think the younger people have moved on (what does it say about me...). I use other social media, but not in the same way, not for the same things. Still great fan of FB. Thinking about it, it's also very useful when you have school age kids.

I deactivated on 1st January.

I need to download all of my photos at some point, and then I'll delete. Don't miss it AT ALL! I feel so much happier without it!

'Everything you see on there is what you have chosen to see' @DrMarthaJones

Unfortunately in this conversation and debate this is sadly the one thing that is categorically not true. Facebook filters a lot of content and not getting into any kind of conspiracy type discussions, really is has been taken to task, and court, about this. They is a huge debate about what you 'see' and don't on there. Their new filtering system was basically a disaster as it was designed for filtering 'fake news'. However it started to delete stories that were true as well as highlighting stories that were fame which actually made them 'trend' even more.

Also a friend of mine who had worked as a 'sin eater' (someone who basically deletes offensive content from the internet. And take it from him, Facebook is not a good thing to put too many photos of your children on.

Do it. I did it years ago and love being FB free.

So to all the pp's who say it's a tool and you choose etc so that you're always happy with what you see....how do you cope with family and friendship squabbles when you've added one person but not another and they take offence? Just curious.

(I am not on FB btw, never have been.)

You sound rather bitchy tbh. You don't want to read about ill people, other peoples babies/dc, see people's meals, see what people have bought or been up to. Doesn't leave much else for them to post about

Madding are they gangsters!? I'd have laughed my head of at that!

A fan shape!

Mine seems to be full of pseudo feminist friends posting pics of the virgin Mary looking like a vulva.

I'd rather read the DM.

@DrMartha - totally agree with you!

And yes younger people have moved on - Facebook is for 40 somethings.

@Llangollen I can totally understand you enjoy it and your a well balanced, good person, being a member of an online community and a great mum. It's just the millions of other people out there who are not those things that keep me away personally, as well as the fact I actually now don't want 'facebook' to have so much of my information. Sure they'll get it in the end some way though .
I am a positive person but I do feel there are so many negative, vulnerable, or 'unwell' people out there. Social media is a huge tool for grooming, in many senses. Not just terrorism or young people (we must consider cyber bullying in this discussion too even if we are not subject to this our peers or children might be). But also grooming to sell us products or a lifestyle.

I am a consumer and I honestly am a positive person with good friends and a family unit so I am aware of the realities of real life. We cannot avoid all these things and go 'off grid' so to speak. But there are a lot of consideration when regarding social media. Especially Facebook

Is there a quick way to make all photos ‘ me only’
I’m working my way through,but it seems to be taking time...

I need Facebook to stay in touch with all my family and friends as I live abroad and have moved so often it would have been impossible to stay in touch with all if it were not for Facebook.in fact that is what it was initially created for.However I have one friend with four kids and every single thing they do is posted on Facebook ,from every birthday , achievement, outing, things they say, what they are eating, new outfits , holidays , celebrations.Wouldn't mind but now she posts all the memories of all the things they have done over the years so we get to see everything twice if not three times.I am just wondering now that they are teenagers that they haven't put a stop to their faces being plastered all over Facebook everyday.My teenagers go ballistic if I post their pictures on Facebook without their consent.I would block her but she is part of a group of friends with whom we socialise with quite frequently .

Actually Facebook algorithms mean you don’t just see what you pick and choose anymore and feeds are cluttered with stuff you don’t actively choose to follow (at least for the majority of users at the moment). It’s how Facebook are trying to make money.

@halfwitpicker so true

I deleted Facebook last year and I am so much happier! Sick of listening to people moan, ram their politics down everyone’s throats, bang on about their children....all very very boring.