Are they being fair?

[RoseWhiteTips]

Some men don’t want to date women who are unable to write grammatically, amongst other things. Are they being unreasonable?

TINDER TURN-OFFS ACCORDING TO MEN

1. 'Duck faces' and Snapchat filters

1. Posing with exotic animals in holiday pictures to appear well travelled

1. Using 'pretentious' music lyrics in place of a bio

1. Meaningless bios such as: 'I like going out... but also staying in'

1. Poor spelling and grammar

1. Saying they attended the 'University of Life'

1. Using the phrase 'I love life'

1. Having voted Leave

1. Being a vegan

10. Women who describe themselves as 'fun-loving'

11. Photos that include her children, her mother, Jesus, or her in a wedding gown

12. Not including any photos at all

13. Any mention of religion

Amazing the men who were asked did not include tattooed women.

I'd agree with most of those. I also have my own list of things I say no to. Unsurprising that large chunks of the population have similar dislikes.v

When I was OLD I would have rejected a man for every single one of those reasons, and more

I am asking because I wonder what other people think.

I suppose I just wondered why you'd ask if it were unreasonable when you agreed with it and, predictably, everyone else does too!

Are there omissions you're surpised by? Tattoos aside.

I suppose I just wondered what motivated a thread about it.

But I do agree with the list and would add a couple of my own.

I agree with that list. I would add tattoos (sorry).

Interesting to see most women would pretty much have the same list. Would I be right in assuming though, that number 1 probably wouldn't apply as I can't actually imagine many men using those hideous filters or making duck faces. Perhaps some experience online daters/Tinder users could advise?

Oh and I do know plenty of people of both sexes who use Tinder for dating, not sex.

I can see the point of vegan if you actually want to date someone. It does impact your partners life. Their choices become as restricted as the vegans.

I think they're all fair points.

Except the photos with kids part. I think that's a good thing to get out in the open from the get go.

Re. my question:
I don’t think I could have predicted that the majority here would agree with the list. After all, Mumsnet is a site for all women and not simply for articulate, middle class women.

Except the photos with kids part. I think that's a good thing to get out in the open from the get go.

Declaring that you have children is one thing. Putting photos of them on the internet for anyone, of any intention, to see it another thing entirely.

Peaceful Totally with you. When I was OLD I couldn't believe how many women had photos of their kids - often without themselves in the photo as well. Madness, quite honestly. Tinder, like POF and Match, allows you to SAY that you have kids. A photo is totally unnecessary.

Connected to this, I would also add to the list anyone who lists their occupation as "full time mummy" and who says "my children are my life"

Amazing the men who were asked did not include tattooed women

Because it's only a few regular suspects on MN who bang that drum. Ad infinitum.

My FWB would have tattoos/piercings as essential . As would I.

Rose Are you surprised that that was the men's list then?

@ShatnersWig because some women don't believe (myself included) that having photos of your children on the internet is any more dangerous than taking them to town with a bog over their heads, for privacy.

And if somebody wanks of a photo of my child I don't care as it isn't actually harming them in any way at all.

Ahh, without a bag over their heads.

Connected to this, I would also add to the list anyone who lists their occupation as "full time mummy" and who says "my children are my life"

Yep, definitely. In women I think "my children are my life" is shorthand for "lack of imagination" and in men I think it's shorthand for "EOW dad"

It didn't matter what else a man said about themselves if they had a photo of their children I wouldn't contact them.

I would find all of those very off putting in a man!

I agree with the list.
But.... I'm on Tinder and nearly every.. single.. bloke on there does all of those things.
The top ones anyway.
There are so many fitness snaps, snorkeling, climbing mountains, riding bikes, fishing, golfing, skiing, sailing, sitting astride a motorbike, posing with tigers, lying in bed topless, etc..... I hate it!!!
And the amount of them that go to the 'university of life' is astonishing!
Swipe left!
And actually, most of them can't even be arsed to string a sentence together at all. No info... you must have nothing to say so be as dull as dishwater or are so arrogant you think your pic will get you through. nope = swipe left!
Only one picture and no smile - you obviously have bad teeth = swipe left!
Only pics with sunglasses on you obviously have shifty mole like eyes = swipe left!
Pics with kids = swipe left! (unless they are older of course)

Passive On Tinder it tells you how far away someone is. So it is perfectly possible that a paedophile could wank over that child's photo knowing that child only lives a mile away. And could take a good guess what school it was at etc. Likelihood of it happening slim but... Even so, it's just not necessary.

Not fair on ducks though is it?

because some women don't believe (myself included) that having photos of your children on the internet is any more dangerous than taking them to town with a bog over their heads, for privacy

It's more that, on a dating website, you are inviting people to make contact with you and some of those men might do so because of the appeal of your children rather than you.

So it's not about what they might do with their photos, but what the inclusion might suggest to predatory men about you and your boundaries. If you're willing to put a photo of them on the website, it might suggest to a predatory man that you might not wait 6 months before introducing them to your children; you might be looking to play 'happy families' sooner than a woman who kept them more private and overlook any warning signs...

Or, more than that, it might just suggest you are primarily looking for a dad for your kids.

Oh, and your children have a right to privacy. They should expect to have the freedom to walk down the road freely, but also not to have their faces plastered all over an hook up app for their parents.

Ohyes Ducks that dive prefer fish, so probably use Plentyoffish rather than Tinder.

If somebody wants over my child I don't care

Fuck me, what an odious, cold thing to say. Why not just respect your child and have some boundaries?

Wanks*

Sorry i have had this conversation on here before and that was one of the thing that worries people, it doesn't worry me.

It's their list so what? i agree with most of them too