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AIBU?

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Original poster

feel like the worlds worst mother

62 replies

willothewisp17 · 08/01/2018 16:20

introducing my daughter to baby foods with more texture, she will be 7 months on the 28th of jan, but was 10 weeks prem so a little behind development wise.

I made all her purées from scratch (please don't accuse me of a stealth boast, I try my hardest to do everything perfect for her because she had such a hard beginning) and felt the it was the time to move onto purées with a little more texture and flavour because she scoffs everything she eats just now. so first thing I made on yesterday night was rice, peas and mint puréed but still with small bits of rice. today I made a carrot, chickpea and coriander purée (much smoother than the rice and peas).

heated up the rice, pea and mint dinner with back up smooth carrot and lentil in case she didn't like the peas and rice.

she didn't like it, she gagged and brought up what little she had of it and brought up her previous milk.

OP posts:
Original poster
willothewisp17 · 08/01/2018 16:21

posted too soon. bare with me!

OP posts:
Nottheduchessofcambridge · 08/01/2018 16:22

So....you made your DD food and she didn’t like it? Sounds about standard to me. I’d be writing this post at least once a week if I took it that much to heart. So make something else next time, don’t stress about it, this is going to happen a lot.

Nottheduchessofcambridge · 08/01/2018 16:23

Ahhh...there’s more...thought it was a bit trivial to be stressing about....

Snowysky20009 · 08/01/2018 16:23

Get used to it- it will happen a lot!!

Really, you are not a bad mum (but I think you know that), as you introduce more texture, bigger pieces she may well gag a lot, and cough and splutter. But it's normal. Please don't worry!

Snowysky20009 · 08/01/2018 16:24

Ah....

Original poster
willothewisp17 · 08/01/2018 16:24

I was angry, I was angry that she vomited what I spent ages making her. I told her I wasn't making her anything else, and she could go hungry. Of course this didn't happen, I held her over the sink and washed the rice puke out of her hair, changed her dirty jumper, stuck a clean bib on her and fed her the alternative I had waiting. but I feel so guilty for being angry! I don't even know what my aibu is about to be honest!

OP posts:
pinkdelight · 08/01/2018 16:24

Unless the update says you spiked it with battery acid, I'm sure it's all totally normal mum stuff, don't worry.

MonkeysMummy17 · 08/01/2018 16:24

OP you're not the world's worst mother! It could be that the texture was different/strange new flavour/insert any random reason here - this is why you start with non chokeables 😊 bringing it up/rejecting it the first time doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't like it, next time you try it for her she might love it.
Don't be so hard on yourself!

TittyGolightly · 08/01/2018 16:25

Shouldn’t her age be adjusted for stuff like this? She’s nowhere near 6 months old development wise, is she?

pinkdelight · 08/01/2018 16:25

You were angry. It happens. I don't know what your aibu is either. Maybe have a kip if poss and forget it.

TittyGolightly · 08/01/2018 16:25

We did baby led weaning. Never puréed a thing. Gagging is perfectly normal.

Nottheduchessofcambridge · 08/01/2018 16:26

Angry....yes that will also happen. Don’t beat yourself up about it, it’s so demoralising when you spend ages preparing a lovely meal and children won’t even try it. Yabu because you’re Not the worst mother in the world at all.

Pengggwn · 08/01/2018 16:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whifflesqueak · 08/01/2018 16:28

It’s a frustrating job and sometimes we get frustrated. Don’t lose sleep over it.

InDubiousBattle · 08/01/2018 16:28

Do you suffer from anxiety at all op? Your kids refusing food, weaning babies gagging, washing vomit out of hair, occasionally getting angry are all pretty par for the course at this age! My dd is 2.5 and gagged yesterday when I asked her to try a cherry tomato (again). I have seen that kid eat soil, chalk and snot but she gags at a bloody tomato.

mumonashoestring · 08/01/2018 16:28

You're putting too much pressure on yourself lovely - and on her if she's going to get told off for not liking everything you put in front of her! Honestly, start off a bit more simply, bland straighforward stuff that doesn't take you ages to make - that way you won't give as much of a monkeys if she smears it everywhere, pushes it into her ears and maybe, if you're lucky, licks a bit of it by accident.

You'll both get there.

Original poster
willothewisp17 · 08/01/2018 16:29

@TittyGolightly advised by health visitor and neo natal doctor to start weaning, not a decision I would make off my own back!

OP posts:
Peopleplease · 08/01/2018 16:30

I used to get angry when DD1 wouldn’t take a bottle of expressed milk. I’d spend ages expressing (which I hated) and then she wouldn’t drink it. (bottle refuser) It happens. Don’t beat yourself up. Maybe look at food that you can mash up quickly.

Adviceplease360 · 08/01/2018 16:32

You need to stop being so hard on yourself, by those standards I am definitely the worlds worst parent ever.

Quartz2208 · 08/01/2018 16:34

I think you need to realise that parenting is not about making things perfect - because nothing is.

They will like some stuff, dislike others, they will like some stuff then dislike it - you need to go with it

Original poster
willothewisp17 · 08/01/2018 16:34

@InDubiousBattle yep, both post natal depression and anxiety. and huge guilt over her early birth (I had preeclampsia, I know I couldn't possibly have stopped it but can't get over the guilt) so I just want everything to be right for her, when in reality, everything can't be perfect! she has reflux (or at least had, it seems to be improving) so giving her bottles used to feel like I was trying to poison her, trying to get her to take her milk!

OP posts:
Original poster
willothewisp17 · 08/01/2018 16:38

if this thread were the other way around and someone else has posted, I'd be saying the same as all of you, don't be so hard on yourself, you are a great mother. but it's different when it's me!

OP posts:
BunloafAndCrumpets · 08/01/2018 16:38

My daughter did this literally every mealtime for weeks. I had an Ikea high chair and the milk she brought up filled the tray! It was exhausting and of course this is an extreme example but these things happen. It isn't a reflection of being a good or bad parent.

My daughter was gagging as a normal response to learning to eat. Some kids do it, some once and some lots of times. Part of weaning is moving the gag reflex from the top of the throat into the back of the throat. The ingredients of what you cook won't really make a difference here. Just persevere, sounds like you're doing a great job!

And I know it's hard not to be annoyed when your hard work is vomited up. I think that is also normal!

Mrsdraper1 · 08/01/2018 16:40

OP, please stop being so hard on yourself. Babies are strange creatures and who knows why they like some things and not others. You have a small baby and you are probably knackered and had put in a huge amount of effort lovingly preparing food. You were frustrated, you are human. You will learn from this experience and DD won't remember it.
Put it down to experience and give her lots of hugs and kisses.
You are doing fine.
Stop trying to be perfect, it is impossible. FACT.

Blackteadrinker77 · 08/01/2018 16:48

Do you think the worlds worst Mum would even care to be upset?

Your human. Stop expecting to be perfect.

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