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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have turned away this airbnb guest?

999 replies

Hiptrip · 07/01/2018 09:05

I have been doing airbnb for a while and have found it a great way to meet new people, and earn a little extra. That is until last Friday night.

Despite my house rule of no children, a woman wrote to me and asked if I could make an exception, promising that her two-year old son would be very well behaved. My house is not set up for children, and I simply don’t want toddlers here so I replied and said no.

She said that was okay and booked anyway, saying she had to come to my town for a wedding, and that she’d find someone to look after him.

Then she turned up with her child at 9.30pm saying she couldn’t find a sitter, and had hysterics as she pleaded with me on the doorstep, to allow him to stay. I refused and in the end called the police because she said she wouldn’t leave until I gave her, her money back in cash because she needed it to stay elsewhere. As she was starting to cause a nuisance, they got rid of her.

She’s taken this to airbnb. My argument is that she was told she couldn’t bring her child, and did anyway, so she should lose her money. Not unreasonable?

OP posts:
TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 07/01/2018 10:14

swingofthings - would you expect a refund from a hotel if you cancelled at 9.30? Or turned up with a dog, or insisted on smoking? Usually they have cancellation policies too.

I used to work in hotels and if someone insisted on smoking in their room after check in they’d not only be thrown out, they’d be charged for extra cleaning. We had to do it a few times.

Original poster
Hiptrip · 07/01/2018 10:14

She also asked me to let her child use the toilet. I just did not want to let her in, because I had a feeling that if I did, she’d refuse to leave. She went in to meltdown at that point, there was no way I was letting her in.

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 07/01/2018 10:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Guavaf1sh · 07/01/2018 10:15

Yanbu- I think this has given me a reality check as I was considering air bnb but I can’t be dealing with such stress

KateGrey · 07/01/2018 10:15

This is OPs house. She clearly states no children. The lady knew this and still brought a child. She could have made alternative arrangements. If I booked a hotel in a smoking room and turned up and it smelt of smoke despite knowing this should I get a refund? Despite the fact I knew?! No.

Boglin · 07/01/2018 10:15

How is the OP a cow?? This is how CFs get away with so much, because people are so easily manipulated into giving in. It was not OP's responsibility to ensure safe accommodation for the child, it was the mother's and she knew damn well that she couldn't stay at OP's house with the child. She had plenty of opportunity to find something else, call earlier in the day to explain the situation, drive home etc but chose to try her luck and emotionally bend OP to her will. OP, you did the right thing IMO, I have a 2 year old myself and wouldn't dream of pulling a stunt like this. And the demands for a cash refund definitely sound like she was attempting a scam. If welfare was a concern then the police could have dealt with that.

SemolinaSilkpaws · 07/01/2018 10:15

I would be livid if you OP. If the noise was so bad your neighbours were out and saying they would call the police must have been very disruptive. Hope this won’t have repercussions for you, they contact your council’s noise department, say you are running a bawdy house.

sabs22 · 07/01/2018 10:16

I’m actually gobsmacked at how many people are trying to say the OP is in the wrong! The ‘customer’ on this occasion was in the wrong! She booked knowing the rules of no children, was then told when she asked that there was to be no children, but turned up anyway!
She never paid in cash so it’s not like the OP had her cash sitting, payment is done through airb&b and therefore any refund (which should not be given!!) would be processed through airb&b to prevent scamming!
Why should OP be out of pocket when the terms of the agreement were so blatantly ignored?
Yeah I feel for the child, for having a mother like her!

WhatIWant · 07/01/2018 10:16

Yanbu and you should have kept the money.

treaclesoda · 07/01/2018 10:16

I really don't get this. What scam? A scam is when you cheat people for your benefit.

The scam is that she asks for a cash refund then she also goes to AirBnB and asks for a refund, so she gets refunded twice.

It's the same as people buying something on eBay and paying by PayPal and asking to collect in person. The seller hands over the item in good faith and the buyer then claims they didn't receive it and PayPal refunds their money, so they get the item for free.

LazyDailyMailJournos · 07/01/2018 10:16

People saying that OP should have refunded her immediately are missing the point that Airbnb hold the cash - so it's not up to OP. The woman would have to go to Airbnb and request a refund.

Biker47 · 07/01/2018 10:17

OP didn't do anything wrong, blame lies squarely with the woman who lied, and like fuck should you give a refund in cash for someone who's paid online, I wouldn't even give a refund at all if that's an option.

Halsall · 07/01/2018 10:17

To the people saying the OP is a money-grabbing grinch (Hmm) - any refunds would be made by Airbnb.

Disputes are resolved by Airbnb

That's one of the points of using the site. Exactly so that homeowners don’t get into these situations of tying themselves in knots wondering whether they should hand over cash and whether the person complaining is a scammer or not. This is repeated over and over again in the Airbnb rules. It's really not difficult to understand. People can and will pull the most unbelievable stunts to blag refunds and this is why it should be handled officially by Airbnb.

OP, you did completely the right thing, of course.

Bunnyboo88 · 07/01/2018 10:18

We did Airbnb for a few months to give us some breathing space when my partner was made redundant pre having our child.

We had this happen, a couple showed up with a child when our settings wouldn't allow someone to book with a child. I was annoyed because if they had asked, we would have said yes. But they had banked on us not saying no when they arrived because we couldn't see a three year old without a bed for a night.

We also had people try to claim refunds from us because they had missed flights etc. It was our livelihood at the time. Claim it back off your insurance, we can't relet the room!

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/01/2018 10:19

Ywnbu. I wouldn’t want to refund her either. Your policies are clear. You had an agreement.

swingofthings · 07/01/2018 10:19

swingofthings - would you expect a refund from a hotel if you cancelled at 9.30? Or turned up with a dog, or insisted on smoking? Usually they have cancellation policies too.

She didn't cancel though, she was refused. Yes, I do think many places, those who are not money grabbing businesses, as a 'gesture of goodwill' would refund in a similar situation.

lynzpynz · 07/01/2018 10:20

She turned up late as she thought she’d use emotional blackmail to get her way! Totally unacceptable behaviour, she knew the terms you’d let her into your home under (including the refund terms as as you say she couldn’t ‘quick book’ as you don’t allow it so people read your rules first!) and this is entirely her fault as is any of the consequences of her own bad decision making.

OP is absolutely NOT harsh to have not conceded to her bad behaviour, lack of planning and blatant ignorance of the terms she signed up to. OP has also, as many have said, lost out on two nights business as she couldn’t re-book the rooms (with a wedding nearby sounds like she’d have been able to get another boarder!). Most big hotels have a cancellation policy, never mind a small business owner.

For all the folk saying she should get her money back - try pulling this trick with a pet dog instead of a baby at a ‘no pet’ hotel and see how much you get refunded when they refuse the dog!

charlestonchaplin · 07/01/2018 10:20

swing
Scam-Double refund. Cash refund from OP at the door, second refund from air bnb later.
Unexpected difficulties - You'd phone ahead to check it was okay to still come, not just turn up.

Marcine · 07/01/2018 10:21

I think if this thread had been "aibu - I booked a family room at Premier Inn for two children and turned up at 9.30pm with three, despite emailing them to ask if I could bring an extra and being told no. They wouldn't let me bring an extra child in and wouldn't refund me because they have a 24 hr cancellation policy' - the answers would be, you knew what you were doing, it was your own fault.

But because its the OP's own home, she is expected to either let this untrustworthy stranger in with their child, or lose out on the money.

treaclesoda · 07/01/2018 10:22

She didn't cancel though, she was refused.

But the guest was the one who refused, not the AirBnB host. The guest refused to adhere to the terms she had booked under, therefore she is the one who cancelled, not the host.

SuburbanRhonda · 07/01/2018 10:23

She didn't cancel though, she was refused.

She was refused because despite saying she would rent the room without her child, and entered into a contract with the OP on that basis, she turned up with the child. Therefore she broke the terms of the contract and ensured that she would be refused by her own actions.

RJnomore1 · 07/01/2018 10:23

I cannot believe anyone would think you were in any way shape or form unreasonable op.

What a twat of a woman.

LagunaBubbles · 07/01/2018 10:24

Yanbu. Mind you seeing some if these replies makes me understand how some people in life get away with appalling behaviour- because others are too soft and let them.

Marcine · 07/01/2018 10:25

swingofthings - she wasn't refused, the child was, and she knew that in advance. If you turned up to a pet free hotel at 9.30pm, after being told no pets, with your dog, would you expect them to refund you?
Big business can make 'gestures of goodwill' because they can suck up the loss - small businesses can't. That's not 'money grabbing'.
Anyway, the OP didn't physically have the money to refund on the door step.

echt · 07/01/2018 10:26

What Marcine said.

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