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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have turned away this airbnb guest?

999 replies

Hiptrip · 07/01/2018 09:05

I have been doing airbnb for a while and have found it a great way to meet new people, and earn a little extra. That is until last Friday night.

Despite my house rule of no children, a woman wrote to me and asked if I could make an exception, promising that her two-year old son would be very well behaved. My house is not set up for children, and I simply don’t want toddlers here so I replied and said no.

She said that was okay and booked anyway, saying she had to come to my town for a wedding, and that she’d find someone to look after him.

Then she turned up with her child at 9.30pm saying she couldn’t find a sitter, and had hysterics as she pleaded with me on the doorstep, to allow him to stay. I refused and in the end called the police because she said she wouldn’t leave until I gave her, her money back in cash because she needed it to stay elsewhere. As she was starting to cause a nuisance, they got rid of her.

She’s taken this to airbnb. My argument is that she was told she couldn’t bring her child, and did anyway, so she should lose her money. Not unreasonable?

OP posts:
LazyDailyMailJournos · 07/01/2018 10:04

This woman asked OP if she would make an exception to the 'no child' rule prior to booking. OP said no and the woman booked anyway and specifically said it would be OK because she would arrange for a babysitter and not need to bring her son.

Lo and behold she turns up on the doorstep at 9:30 at night begging and pleading. Despite the fact that she drove there, and as OP has said, there are plenty of other places to stay as she's located in a large town.

If you couldn't get a sitter, why on earth would you drive all the way to the Airbnb you'd booked which had explicitly said "Don't bring your kid"? At best, why wouldn't you call them and hope you could plead your case? Or more sensibly accept the fact that clearly you weren't going to be able to stay there and find a B&B or a Travelodge instead?

The turning up on the doorstep with the kid and pleading for a cash refund reeks of this being a scam. Saying she had no alternative is clearly bollocks - if the woman couldn't scrape up enough money to cover £50 for a B&B for the night then how is she affording to attend a wedding? And if she was completely skint, then she should have got in the car and driven home again having learned the lesson that doing this in the first place was a bloody stupid idea. This is not OP's responsibility.

SemolinaSilkpaws · 07/01/2018 10:05

Out of interest just been on AirBNB’s website where I see guests can leave reviews of the place they stayed. So I have booked a childfree room for whatever reason and come in late to the sound of child screaming, parent preparing bottle in kitchen, used nappy in toilet if not ensuite. What will my review be like after my stay? That’s the host’s reputation gone down the Swanee.

nakedscientist · 07/01/2018 10:05

OP can you tell us what the woman did that warranted the police to remove her? I feel this is a bit of your story that is being overlooked.

Original poster
Hiptrip · 07/01/2018 10:05

On airbnb there is a facility allowing people to quick book. I don’t have this enabled because I want people to check out what I am offering and read my house rules.

They also have to write me a few lines, and tell me about themselves.

She did this and asked if I could accommodate her child. I said no. The messages are still there, so I can’t see why she would be allowed a refund when she ignored what I was telling her.

OP posts:
swingofthings · 07/01/2018 10:05

Pengggwn - I am renting rooms via airbnb to make a little extra, not running a refuge.
You sound like a lovely person...

Fair enough to turn her away, but keeping her money just because the 'rules' say you can is just money grabbing. Hope you feel very satisfied to have that bit extra in your pocket having done nothing for it.

KERALA1 · 07/01/2018 10:06

It's so disrespectful when paying guests in your home flout your reasonable rules.

We host foreign teens. I have thrown them out before for smoking in the room after specifically being told not to Hmm

We are explicit that we only host girls. One turned up - a lad with a full face of make up. We felt guilted into allowing him to stay but dh fuming.

fluffycat5601 · 07/01/2018 10:06

Blimey! YANBU at all!!!!

JustAnIdiot · 07/01/2018 10:07

I suspect she had planned it all along - there's another thread running about sneaking extra children into hotel rooms, with a lot of people thinking it perfectly reasonable.

I feel sorry for the tot, but not your responsibility that the mum is a bit of a chancer.

gunsandbanjos · 07/01/2018 10:07

None of this is your responsibility, you don’t sound like a cow either.

Peekaboo3 · 07/01/2018 10:07

Well whoever had her money, I think she should still have it back.

She is still a CF though. Maybe Air B n B will refuse her because of the dirty trick she pulled.

charlestonchaplin · 07/01/2018 10:09

I wouldn't let someone like that in my home. You could wake up to find you've been robbed! I can see why she did it though. She has obviously found that people cave in when she pulls the vulnerable woman and child act. I do despair of women though. Wanting to be seen as equals but ever so ready to see themselves and other women as weak, vulnerable victims when that suits their narrative.

That child has very likely witnessed lots of drama and therefore it doesn't faze them because it is a common occurrence.

Anniegetyourgun · 07/01/2018 10:09

Unfortunately you need to be the bigger person

Er no, no she doesn't Hmm

I've also lost my last vestige of sympathy on hearing that this CF turned up in a car. So the toddler could sleep comfortably in the car, as no doubt it had been doing on the journey so far, while Mum scouted out alternatives. She didn't come on the last train with a cold, sleepy child on her shoulder and no idea where to start looking for another room.

Am also thinking OP would have been doubly out of pocket when the existing guest requested a refund for being disturbed by a toddler in what they had paid for as child-free accommodation. They would have been within their rights to do so.

Original poster
Hiptrip · 07/01/2018 10:11

Nakedscientist - She was shouting and swearing at me so loudly that the neighbours started to come out to see what was going on. Then she started crying and screaming hysterically.

The man next door said if I didn’t call the police, he would.

OP posts:
treaclesoda · 07/01/2018 10:11

But yes maybe the woman is entitled to not be judged,sentenced and hung quite so fast.

It's pretty black and white though. The woman was told that her child couldn't stay and she turned up with the child anyway and expected to be allowed to stay. There really isn't any back story that could possibly make this ok.

Idontdowindows · 07/01/2018 10:11

Unfortunately @Kerala1 under AirBnB's rules, as long as this man claims he's a woman you won't be able to refuse his booking anyway. Many women who run "women only" AirBnBs are very unhappy with this.

Galerina · 07/01/2018 10:11

How did the police come to be involved OP? She must have really been kicking off for the cops to have attended so quickly.

Cheby · 07/01/2018 10:12

YADNBU OP, nor do you sound like ‘a bit of a cow’.

There was a thread on here a few days ago about squeezing 5 people into a hotel room for 4. Plenty of people told the OP it would be ok for the hotel to kick them out if they were discovered breaking the rules. Why is Airbnb any different? Again with Hotels you usually pay more for a booking you can cancel, and you usually can’t cancel on the day at all. why should Airbnb be any different?

The woman and her child were with the police, in any case. If she absolutely had no money at all for another hotel room and was facing a night on the streets with her 2yo, then she could have said that to the police and asked them for help.

Actually, re reading, she arrived in her car! Which means she could have just driven home. I don’t know how far away they were, but it was only 9.30 at night. Even if Home was a 7 hour drive, I’d have settled 2yo in car seat, driven for 3-4 hrs or until I was too tired to continue, stopped at a motorway services, had a few hours sleep in the car myself then carry on with the journey home.

The CF is not due a refund, either.

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 07/01/2018 10:12

I don’t think yabu op and I’d find it annoying too if someone did what this woman did.

As I’m sure has already been said a million times on here, if she genuinely was in a bind and was let down by babysitter last minute then she could have called you from home. Even if I turned up at babysitter’s house nearby and found they couldn’t watch her ds anymore, I’d have phoned ahead to at least ask if there was any chance. The act she turned up with him sounds a bit like she may have planned it so that you’d feel you had to accept them. Yes, I know, we haven’t heard the other side etc etc, but I can’t imagine a scenario where I’d do this with my toddler. It’s just irresponsible and unfair on everyone involved.

Marcine · 07/01/2018 10:12

swingofthings - would you expect a refund from a hotel if you cancelled at 9.30? Or turned up with a dog, or insisted on smoking? Usually they have cancellation policies too.

Branleuse · 07/01/2018 10:12

harsh but fair. Youre running a small business and you set the rules. I hope you dont have to refund her

Zaphodsotherhead · 07/01/2018 10:13

What would the woman have done if you'd said 'no children' because the room was actively unsafe for small children (open spiral staircase, huge windows onto high balcony, etc). Just have said 'oh I'll keep an eye on him?' And if the poor tot had a terrible accident whilst there?

And if the woman was so hard up as to need her money refunded in order to afford another room, perhaps she should have thought twice about attending the wedding? How was she going to pay the babysitter - maybe she could have used that money to pay for a room...

LostSight · 07/01/2018 10:13

She definitely shouldn’t get her money back. She knew the potential consequences of her actions, but took them anyway. Perhaps she’s done this many times before. This is a good lesson for her not to try it on in future.

Viviennemary · 07/01/2018 10:13

The woman was in the wrong to do what she did. But this is to be expected when you operate AIRBnb. Sounds like a total nightmare. You should have refunded her immediately rather than have her go into hysterics because she had nowhere to stay. Maybe you should find an easier way of making extra cash.

swingofthings · 07/01/2018 10:13

The turning up on the doorstep with the kid and pleading for a cash refund reeks of this being a scam.
I really don't get this. What scam? A scam is when you cheat people for your benefit. What benefit was she to get? At best she would have got what she paid for, at worse, she is finding herself on the street having lost her money!

OP says they are plenty of other places, so surely if OP was lying about not coming without her child, she would indeed have looked for another place?

Why is it so hard to believe that indeed, she might, just maybe, have faced some unexpected difficulties?

Littlegoth · 07/01/2018 10:13

Not a cow at all.

We use Airbnb and do book child free accommodation. Won’t make me popular but if I’ve specifically booked somewhere because it is child free, and then spent my stay listening to a screaming toddler I would definitely complain to Airbnb and ask for a refund.