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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have turned away this airbnb guest?

999 replies

Hiptrip · 07/01/2018 09:05

I have been doing airbnb for a while and have found it a great way to meet new people, and earn a little extra. That is until last Friday night.

Despite my house rule of no children, a woman wrote to me and asked if I could make an exception, promising that her two-year old son would be very well behaved. My house is not set up for children, and I simply don’t want toddlers here so I replied and said no.

She said that was okay and booked anyway, saying she had to come to my town for a wedding, and that she’d find someone to look after him.

Then she turned up with her child at 9.30pm saying she couldn’t find a sitter, and had hysterics as she pleaded with me on the doorstep, to allow him to stay. I refused and in the end called the police because she said she wouldn’t leave until I gave her, her money back in cash because she needed it to stay elsewhere. As she was starting to cause a nuisance, they got rid of her.

She’s taken this to airbnb. My argument is that she was told she couldn’t bring her child, and did anyway, so she should lose her money. Not unreasonable?

OP posts:
TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 07/01/2018 15:34

@cherry

I know what you mean! If they never had any intention of paying for a big funeral, I just don’t know why they decided to have one. Or maybe they didn’t realise how much it would cost and got carried away. I’d be mortified to think anyone anyone in my family would do that for my funeral.

SuburbanRhonda · 07/01/2018 15:36

And if the OP comes back and gives a decent reason as to why the child would have been in danger using the toilet, I will accept she was being responsible, not unkind.

Good grief. Her property is adults only. She diesnt owe you or anyone else an explanation of why that is.

musicposy · 07/01/2018 15:36

OP, she was a cf and I hope Airbnb come down on your side.

Reading TheGoblinQueen's thread where she was trying to find accommodation for 13 people sums it up for me. You ask people, you take a no as a no, you don't just turn up after the no and expect a different answer.

We were looking for an apartment for a family holiday with our 3 dogs. All said 2 dogs or no dogs. So I wrote round some polite emails describing our dogs and assuring they were well behaved and we would expect to cover any damage, but were certain there would be none. We were going in February and I counted that not many properties would be easy to rent for a week off season in Feb.

Like Goblin, I got mixed responses.

  • no, sorry, we don't allow pets
  • no, sorry, we'd allow two but really can't have more
  • we would take the dogs but your youngest is 15 and we don't allow children, I'm afraid this counts as a child
  • yes, we have a lot of land and your dogs would be very welcome. We only say two so we don't get professional sitters with eight
  • yes, we don't normally accept this but you sound responsible and it's not a time we usually find easy to rent
  • yes, that's fine

Guess what? We went with one of the yes's. Even though one of the nos was our first choice. I would not have dreamed of turning up with dogs in tow and expecting them to say yes on the spot.

Some people think they can get away with anything.

Pengggwn · 07/01/2018 15:37

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Pengggwn · 07/01/2018 15:39

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ivykaty44 · 07/01/2018 15:39

But you don’t take that risk as you don’t do AirBnB and that’s the reality

Tippz · 07/01/2018 15:39

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Pengggwn · 07/01/2018 15:40

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ivykaty44 · 07/01/2018 15:41

Once that woman was in her property it would be much harder to get her out again and that’s why I wouldn’t have let her in either to use the loo

SuburbanRhonda · 07/01/2018 15:41

If I am going to think otherwise, I will need to understand what makes her house so dangerous for a few minutes while a 2 year old has a wee and a drink.

You can need all you want, it’s adults-only - no explanation required.

Hippee · 07/01/2018 15:42

Slightly different story but, if it had been 15 years ago, would have believed it was the same person. My housemate and I were at a friend's wedding and got chattig to a couple with a toddler. It was about 9.30 and they mentioned that they hadn't booked a B&B but were going to ring around when they left the wedding!! We didn't think they would find anything, so I went to my boyfriend's and they had my room. By the time they arrived, the woman was so drunk that she had taken her top off to avoid being sick on it (our male housemate was a little surprised to find a half-naked woman ringing the doorbell), spent the whole night throwing up in our bathroom, then they snuck out in the morning before anyone was up, without saying thank you.

I think you were completely reasonable to refuse to have her - and no-one can know that you didn't lose out on other bookings. With a car, she was not without options (unless she was drunk like our CF). I wonder whether it was actually a child-free wedding too.

Pengggwn · 07/01/2018 15:42

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pollythedolly · 07/01/2018 15:42

OP were you at home alone when this happened? I know your guest was out.

whataboutbob · 07/01/2018 15:43

Apologies but what is a cf? I have checked the acronyms page and that gives me cystic fibrosis which clearly is not the case here.

Pengggwn · 07/01/2018 15:43

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ivykaty44 · 07/01/2018 15:45

TBH I think you’re a bit unfamiliar with these sorts of situations and have little idea how quickly these types of situations can turn and you are then going to be putting yourself in danger

Hygge · 07/01/2018 15:45

The OP has already said that the reason she didn't allow them in to use the toilet is because she thought the woman would refuse to leave once she was through the door.

Which, given the behaviour of the woman screaming and ranting in the street, was a sensible thing to think.

The danger to the child is that the OP's house is not set up for children. An attic room with no stair gates, no child-proofing of any sort, and no insurance to cover a guest who was not part of the AirB&B insurance is all a danger to the child.

A screaming woman who might refuse to leave once inside, is a danger to the OP, her home, and her business.

The OP has taken more responsibility for the safety of that child than his own mother was showing on that occasion.

MNHQ
FlissMumsnet · 07/01/2018 15:45

We're noticed things have become a wee bit heated on this thread so we're just popping in

to remind everyone to please post within our Talk Guidelines otherwise they'll be more holes than a doilie soon. Cake

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 07/01/2018 15:45

Cf = cheeky fucker

Pengggwn · 07/01/2018 15:45

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lynzpynz · 07/01/2018 15:45

@whataboutbob - CF means cheeky f***r, learning the acronyms is half the battle on mumsnet haha! I’m still struggling!

YouTheCat · 07/01/2018 15:46

My home is definitely toddler kryptonite.

whataboutbob · 07/01/2018 15:47

Thanks guys!

myrtleWilson · 07/01/2018 15:49

Given that this toddler apparently (according to their mother) needed the toilet and at this point the mother decided to have a screaming fit in the street - long enough and loud enough to attract the attention of neighbours and leading to police attendance - ... clearly the mother was not exactly responding to her child's needs - or its quite possible that the need to use the bathroom was entirely made up as a means to gain access to the property in the expectation that once in... easier to stay put..

OP - yanbu.

rcit · 07/01/2018 15:49

Agree with the poster above saying that if you bend a bit for a CF they will carry on and on and on taking.

The other thing about a CF is when you call them out, they will scream and protest like a toddler that you are in the wrong.

I hope you sort this out with air bnb and I hope the police saw you give her cash. In my view, she has stolen from you twice. 1) she broke your booking rules and therefore she had no right to a refund on the actual day and 2) she stole cash on your doorstep. That was for Airbnb to give her back if they saw fit, not you.

She should be barred from using Airbnb