To have turned away this airbnb guest?

[Hiptrip]

I have been doing airbnb for a while and have found it a great way to meet new people, and earn a little extra. That is until last Friday night.

Despite my house rule of no children, a woman wrote to me and asked if I could make an exception, promising that her two-year old son would be very well behaved. My house is not set up for children, and I simply don’t want toddlers here so I replied and said no.

She said that was okay and booked anyway, saying she had to come to my town for a wedding, and that she’d find someone to look after him.

Then she turned up with her child at 9.30pm saying she couldn’t find a sitter, and had hysterics as she pleaded with me on the doorstep, to allow him to stay. I refused and in the end called the police because she said she wouldn’t leave until I gave her, her money back in cash because she needed it to stay elsewhere. As she was starting to cause a nuisance, they got rid of her.

She’s taken this to airbnb. My argument is that she was told she couldn’t bring her child, and did anyway, so she should lose her money. Not unreasonable?

Pengggwn is so kind, and yet not willing to send OP £80 so she can issue the refund to the woman.

No one has to be kind

No one has to be a mug, either, especially with someone who's already shown themselves willing to take the p**s so thoroughly

I get that we're all different in this sort of thing, and that some might choose to make an exception ... it's just that, IME, it's less likely to happen when someone's being screamed and sworn at

Yes, but OP, two wrongs don’t make a right. You saw a child with no safe place to sleep at night and his mother saying she had no money to get somewhere else. You had her money. You had a choice to provide a safe lodging and you chose not to. His mother was absolutely at fault for putting him on that position but if something bad happened you wouldn’t be blameless. It was a mean thing to do and I guess this is why you’ve come to MN to talk about what a CF she was, to make yourself feel better because deep down you know it wasn’t right

Jesus what absolute bullshit!

Kids in my house are a once in 10 years event, so totally not childproof
Umpteen valuable ornaments, also vases of water, pot plants

Several ornamental knives at low level - really sharp.

Last time, a neighbour popped in with toddler ("we'll just be a minute")
who promptly started banging a solid silver ornament against an antique coffee table with glass insert

Mother just smiled sweetly, so I yelled "NO" and moved between toddler and table

The kid immediately charged over to the TV, grabbed and shook it
Before he could pull over a £1000 monitor onto himself - hurting both parties, I grabbed him gently
Cue very indignant mum

By mutual consent, they left right after this

Not wanting to have the piss ripped out of her and wanting to fulfil obligations to her other guest does not make the OP “callous” or “unkind”.

SuburbanRhonda

I'm not saying she had to do anything.

Yes you did:

Most people could move the one or two valuable things out of the way for a night or even for fifteen minutes while the mum changed and fed the child.

It wouldn't matter if the OP's house was perfectly child-friendly - she said no children.

Halfdrunkbrew

think the woman was a cf and shouldn't have booked if you said no children. However I don't think I could do what you did, I couldn't chuck a woman and very small child out onto the street at that time of night. I think maybe expressing how annoyed you were would have been enough. There would have been no need for her to request a refund and you wouldn't have wasted police time. It was a toddler not a great big slobbering dog she was trying to bring in, pretty sure they would have been no trouble.

But OP has said the room is in the attic, and that the steps aren't suitable for children.

If the child falls and hurts itself, who do you think the CF mum is going to blame?

No herself that's sure! She's already shown she takes no responsibility for her actions.

And OP's insurance wouldn't cover it because itbwas a child.

Too many people not putting themselves in OP's shows and just looking at it from their perspective.

OP, I agree with others that you did nothing wrong. You have your rules, you had already refused the child and the woman turned up anyway. Her problem not yours. I hate people who force themselves on other people, the sense of entitlement! "oh but my little snowflake is different to all other children, you must let him in".

I went to Bath, wanted to go to the thermal spa. They don't let in kids under a certain age. Did I turn up anyway with 8yo DD and demand to be let in? No I didn't as she was not allowed. How difficult is it to understand rules? Rules that are in place for a very good reason?

She turned up and put you on the spot and you correctly stood your ground. Emotions don't come into it, it was a business transaction and because she had already been asked and been refused, it was extremely rude of her to just turn up anyway.

and regarding the refund, refunds are usually given in the way that they are paid, so via airbnb, not via cash. Shops always refund to the card that paid, they won't hand over cash. It is a common rule that most people should know about.

If people book child free accommodation, then they expect it to be just that.

YANBU.

The fact she checked repeatedly and the OP pointed out repeatedly that the place was specifically CHILD FREE the guest was a chancer.

Not the OPs responsibility. Not the OPs fault. She had made it very clear from the start the rules and expectations.

As to the refund. If it was paid via paypal or other electronic form then the refund goes that way. no ifs no buts. The chancer has an opportunity to reclaim her 'lost' money and deal with it via a 3rd party which is safer for all involved. OP and guest included.

Pengggwn, I am also as old as Methusalah though female. I also am very nice to people if they deserve it. Not CFers though.

we're all free to do the unkind thing if we choose to

You're right, and on the whole I'd hope that most of us would avoid being "unkind" if at all possible

However for me that wouldn't include being shouted and sworn at. Call me unreasonable, but in such a case any urge to be "kind"would quickly be replaced by self preservation

Feel free to open up your home as a public toilet then, or a public refuge for all and sundry. That's a kind thing to do and demonstrates much more than virtue signalling on a random thread on the internet.

I wouldn't give a flying fuck being considered 'unkind'.

I consider it quite 'unkind' and damned rude to turn up with a kid in tow despite being told 'No'.

It was 9.30 in the evening in the UK, not 3.30am in Alaska. She had a car and presumably petrol to get home.

Abit shocked at some mn here. This woman was at best a cf at worse a scammer. No way do you want her in your house. Op said no children. She turns up at 9.30pm knowing this!!!

Pengggwyn I've noticed you seem very generous with other people's resources - you're currently on another thread berating the OP for not adopting a 2 year old with SEN that the OP is patently unable to care for properly, yet you're branding the poor woman as heartless. And here you are advocating for OP to lose money and offer up her home to a woman who behaved so badly the neighbours wanted to call the police!

Such a keyboard warrior but given it's not your resources, time or home at stake it's easy to say "oh yeah, of course I'd do it"...

I don’t like to think I’m a particularly cynical person, but I would wonder about being kind to someone as “ridiculous” (word used by someone up thread) as this mother. I used to work in hotels and we frequently found CFs were the worst people to be kind to. No good deed went unpunished with the CFs! We went right out of our way to provide a lovely event at a knock down rate for a grieving family when they hosted a funeral with us. They’d really pushed us on the price and we tried to be as accommodating as we could, in the name of good service. They were all gushy and emotional about it on the day and leading up to it. The following day, they turned up all hard faced and business like and announced they wouldn’t be paying for the funeral as it hadn’t been good enough. They’d consumes a substantial amount of food, drink and used our accommodation, but just decided they didn’t have to pay.

Another man had a genuine problem with his room, (plumbing went bananas one day). We fell over ourselves offering him free drinks, a meal and (of course) moved him to another room. He was very understanding in person and accepted all our offers. After he checked out, he emailed us to say that he’d taken photos of the dodgy plumbing and he was going to post them on Tripadvisor if we didn’t offer him a free night’s accommodation! Obviously we didn’t know that one was a CF. We’d had a little warning with the way the grieving family had been about negotiating a price for their event.

These are just anecdotes, but I’ve found that CFs are, generally speaking, the ones you shouldn’t be too accommodating with. I especially would stick to that if it was accepting someone into my own home, where I had to sleep and where another guest was currently sleeping too. Maybe I’m more cynical than I think...

Is it me or.....?

Why are people having to repeat the situation over and over again.

Toddler or not, the OP shouldn't have taken them in even if she wanted to. She would have put herself in a no-win situation either with CF, her other paying guest, insurance or Airbnb - or all of them!

She did the right thing. I think we can all agree the toddlers situation wasn't the best but a good parent would put his needs first and wouldn't have tried to pull this stunt in the first place.

Oh I’ve just remembered another one!

We had some men being really rude to a staff member in the bar. All to do with food not being served, (not the staff member’s fault at all). To smooth things over, a manager went in and offered the men some free drinks. They had been drinking soft drinks all night, but suddenly switched to double shots of expensive spirits with mixers. They were so pleased with themselves. Hospitality can put you off people sometimes!

The following day, they turned up all hard faced and business like and announced they wouldn’t be paying for the funeral as it hadn’t been good enough. They’d consumes a substantial amount of food, drink and used our accommodation, but just decided they didn’t have to pay.

TheDailyMail - utter bastards. Did they pay in the end?

'And probably there would have been no need for police and a near-fracas in the street.'

Considering the gal kicked off after being refused entry to private property when she contradicted the rules of entry, I somehow doubt she'd have left willingly had she got her foot in the door.

But again, actions speak louder than words! Why not find out how she is from the OP and send her 80 quid, to be kind, and make your home open to strangers to use the toilet or even stay, it's the kind thing to do.