To have turned away this airbnb guest?

[Hiptrip]

I have been doing airbnb for a while and have found it a great way to meet new people, and earn a little extra. That is until last Friday night.

Despite my house rule of no children, a woman wrote to me and asked if I could make an exception, promising that her two-year old son would be very well behaved. My house is not set up for children, and I simply don’t want toddlers here so I replied and said no.

She said that was okay and booked anyway, saying she had to come to my town for a wedding, and that she’d find someone to look after him.

Then she turned up with her child at 9.30pm saying she couldn’t find a sitter, and had hysterics as she pleaded with me on the doorstep, to allow him to stay. I refused and in the end called the police because she said she wouldn’t leave until I gave her, her money back in cash because she needed it to stay elsewhere. As she was starting to cause a nuisance, they got rid of her.

She’s taken this to airbnb. My argument is that she was told she couldn’t bring her child, and did anyway, so she should lose her money. Not unreasonable?

YANBU because whatever way you look at it - scammer? unreasonable, entitled parent who doesn't think the rules apply to their chyuld? unhinged individual with no self-control? - the woman was clearly bad news and I wouldn't have wanted her in my home even to use the toilet. Would she have left straight afterwards? Who knows!

You were not unreasonable at all. She was indeed a CF and you don't owe her anything.

However in the circumstances I probably would have let her stay for the child's sake.

YADNU
If anyone wants to donate £80, there are kids in far more need than those whose mum has a car, credit card and can just drive them home

This thread: no wonder there are so many CFs and con artists around, when there are so many mugs

If the OP had let them into her house even for the loo / phone, she would not have got rid of them for 2 days .... or even longer ?
The police may move on an aggressive adult outside your house, but they might might refuse to drag out a mother and child who are already in the house

At best, she was a very entitled CF who hoped to emotionally blackmail you into letting her stay - judging from replies here, it works half the time !
She wasn't prepared to pay the going rate elsewhere, for a parent & child room

Possibly, she was a scammer, hoping for a double refund - Op's cash & then from Airbnb
Maybe even to steal anything that wasn't nailed down
An acquaintance found after one CF had left that he had stolen bedding and the teas-made, taken away in his suitcase

Worst cases:

• she planned to stay a lot longer than 2 days for her £80. Almost free tental
• an insurance scammer, like those who set up car accidents and claim for whiplash

OP's insurance via Airbnb might have refused to pay up because of the broken contract terms:

• Either for legal fees to evict them
• or for damages if the CF claimed the child had suffered an injury falling down the stairs say

If Airbnb decide she is entitled to any refund, then it would be a small amount for not needing the breakfast or laundry
BUT they would deduct this from the £80 before sending the remainder to the OP
Refunds for Airbnb should always be via their official system, never cash

How many of us have genuinely valuable ornaments sitting at toddler height?

I do I have a few pieces of antique China given by my parents who are antique dealers. I also have a TV, games console and various other things that could be very easily broken by a rampaging toddler.

If some shepherds and Three Kings with gifts turned up after you'd sent the CF on her way, I'd say YABU.
Otherwise, no.

Pengggwn many non child friendly houses have ornaments which may not be of monetary value but are valuable for sentimental reasons.

Also interested you say would allow this child in to be watered and fed. Where is the food coming from because I’ll bet you the CF won’t have anything to eat with them.

I think there might be very odd occasions where the woman’s story might have been true. But any decent person who knows they are changing their arm would respond to a polite refusal with calm resignation and acceptance that they were going to have to suck it up and find somewhere suitable.

The way she acted throughout suggests to me there’s at least a risk she could be very untrustworthy indeed. We were in a B&B on holiday this year where the owner had made an effort to accommodate some people who turned up unexpectedly with an extra person. They refused to pay for the extra person, tried to cancel the second night, sent threatening letters when the owner tried quite fairly to charge them for the extra person and lastly left an appalling review on TripAdvisor. So after everything the B&B owner did, she was left with a whole lot of stress and a one star review.

So the situation was unpleasant, OP, but hopefully that’ll be an end to it. Had you let her in, she may well have left a swathe of destruction in her wake. And if she leaves a bad review, hopefully you can respond clearly and reasonably so that others will know not to mess with you in future.

I'm glad most people are on the side of the Op. I've stayed in loads of hotels and guest houses when we've travelled with DC and DDog. When I was looking I spotted great sounding places but then noticed that they have a no children or no pets policy. So guess what, I didn't book. I found somewhere else.

Now that DH and I travel alone I seek out child free places and I'd be hacked off to be woken early by someone else's toddler!

Reading threads like this you can really start to understand why some people develop such a sense of entitlement and learned helplessness can't you?

Indeed - but then, the very concept of taking responsibility for their own choices is unthinkable to some. Quite how this CF thought that screaming and swearing would persuade OP to change her mind is a mystery, but that's what often happens with those who won't tolerate the word "no"

As for "letting the child in to use the loo" ... does anyone seriously imagine that someone like this would have meekly left once she was in the house?

Why should the OP move things for 15 minutes so the CF can come in with her toddler, why should she move things overnight if she doesn’t want to. Shock horror, it’s her home so she can do what she wants.

Pengggwn you keep going on about feeding the child....it’s a bnb.....who is supplying the food? The mum? Then she can feed the child in the car.

Well as you did bother replying you might as well answer the question.....

So toddler/wrecking ball is admitted, uses toilet, has glass of water and bit of toast then best case scenario falls asleep. OP then has to eject sleeping child and CF so waking up child who restarts wrecking ball tactics. Seems like a load of hassle to me, much quicker to not let them in straight off.

I think the woman was a cf and shouldn't have booked if you said no children. However I don't think I could do what you did, I couldn't chuck a woman and very small child out onto the street at that time of night. I think maybe expressing how annoyed you were would have been enough. There would have been no need for her to request a refund and you wouldn't have wasted police time. It was a toddler not a great big slobbering dog she was trying to bring in, pretty sure they would have been no trouble.

I don’t blame the op or think she was evil for turning them away - the woman knew what she was doing. She was also driving so the child would have been comfortable and safe whilst the woman drove home or to a hotel? Hardly placing them in a dangerous situation like hysterical PP have suggested

In regards to a refund, airb&b are the only party that issue refunds. If op gave her cash, the woman would have been refunded twice! It’s like paying for an Uber with cash when the app has already deducted money for your card - payment is taken through the company’s system so cash does not need to be involved, and if it then the cash giver is probably getting ripped off

Most people could move the one or two valuable things out of the way for a night or even for fifteen minutes while the mum changed and fed the child. It's not a particularly convincing reason to turn them away at the door.

So the OP, who advertises as a child free space, should have to check for potential hazards to a toddler so that a total stranger can use her toilet?

You're not "chucking someone out" if you never let them inside in the first place.

The woman sounded terrifying actually. She was clearly trying to scam the OP, and no WAY would I have let her in.

The (few) posters defending her, are probably CF's who would quite happily do this kind of thing themselves!

I agree with the majority, that this woman and her child were not the OP's responsibility. These kind of scams, that sometimes involve using a child are well known. The posters who think the OP should have let the woman in are very naive and gullible.

And as has been said, the woman would not have left if the OP had let her in. Good on her for calling the police. Maybe the CF will think twice before she tries this trick again.