Would you be offended?

[esk1mo]

if your MIL got you a (nice) christmas present for £4, while spoiling her son with gifts?

or is the gift recipient being unreasonable?

Define 'nice'
No, in theory any gift is nice as it's the thought but you can say a lot about how you feel about someone with a seemingly nice gesture

You describe it as nice, I don't see the problem. Calculating the value of each gift is a bit off.

I would, given that my MIL treats me as one of her own and I always get great gifts so this would be a major difference.

So I guess I'm saying it depends on the precedent that has been set?

Yes, what was a nice £4 present?

It's the thought that counts though. And she can spoil her son if she wants to.

No not really

along the lines of a candle from primark/lidl

maybe its because my parents buy DP & I equal gifts (perfume/aftershave). also because ive put up with a lot of shit from DP the last year and MIL is aware of this.

just seems a bit thoughtless, is all.

Sounds nice. What present did you expect?

It's not your mil's job to buy you presents to make up for you putting up with shit from your partner.

It's hardly your MIL's fault if your DP has been giving you a lot of shit to put up with?

If it's nice then it's nice.

I don't care how much gifts cost. Also, I'd probably be inclined to spend more money on DC than their DP's.

Not a bit offended, I am not her child. But we get token gifts, if any gifts at all in-laws, dh does, it never crossed my mind to be offended

You are being massively reasonable to suggest she should buy you a better gift because you take shit off her son

Depends - anything in her behaviour to suggest it's a veiled message?

I'd probably write it off as thoughtless and not waste anytime dissecting any meaning out of it to be honest. But then I literally couldn't care less if my partners friends/family decide to get in an undisclosed unwarranted arse with me. They can hash it out with him if they're that bothered.

Both my DP and PIL buy things if equal value for me and DH. Yes I do think lavishing your DP with gifts while you get a £4 candle is a bit shitty. It's not so much about the gift itself as the message it sends.

maybe its because i put alot of thought and effort into gifts, i feel sad/underwhelmed when im given something like that. especially when DP was given many personal, thoughtful gifts. my parents see him as one of their own, and im under the impression that MIL sees me like that too.

we had a period of time where DP went fully off the rails, we split up and i had to constantly beg his family to intervene and help him. eventually things came to a head and after working things out we are settled again. so a candle after that is just a bit..meh.

its not the price per say, i would have loved a big bar of my favourite chocolate because thought has been put into it, but to grab something while doing your food shopping..

Stop with the Gifts.. x

I may be slightly cheesed off, but just accept it as one of those things.

..as in grab a random cheap object not rated to food *

argh..related!

No, sorry. I'm not bothered by stuff like that, wouldn't notice.

If she spoilt him with gifts, then yes I would be a bit hurt.

How is grabbing a bar of chocolate any different to choosing a candle?

One of my family members always spends a hell of a lot more money on one other family member than on anyone else, and it really shows. She is a vindictive type of character, and we believe that she does it on purpose.

I would read into its meaning, rightly or wrongly. A £4 gift IS mean if she's in a position to lavish him in lots of gifts.

Does she perhaps know something you don't?

My mum gives me and DH, DB and SIL equal presents. My DH gets more off his dad & SM than they get me but it doesn't bother me. I have a good relationship with them, it's just 'their way'.