Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Would you be offended?

64 replies

esk1mo · 06/01/2018 23:18

if your MIL got you a (nice) christmas present for £4, while spoiling her son with gifts?

or is the gift recipient being unreasonable?

OP posts:

Twofurrycats · 07/01/2018 01:25

I got a towel for Xmas one year from an aunt. It was a huge, white, fluffy bathsheet and I was very happy.
Was it an aldi jo Malone copy candle?

Original poster

esk1mo · 07/01/2018 01:31

boulshired he would have had support and intervention, instead of leaving me to deal with my “ex” DPs behaviour.

i think receiving a jo malone candle instead of a replica is different. the replica you pick up for £3 while doing your food shop, from the aisle which sells all manner of random things. a jo malone candle you specifically to that shop to buy, thinking the recipient will really love this and the effort it took

OP posts:

rightknockered · 07/01/2018 01:35

One year my (ex) MIL gave me a half used bottle of nail varnish, with matching half used lipstick.

rightknockered · 07/01/2018 01:36

It is possible the problems with your DH has caused problems with your MIL. If she is anything like ex's mother, she will blame you for all his issues

LuluJakey1 · 07/01/2018 01:40

My MIL spends about the same on me and DH and SIL and BIL. She is very thoughtful too. FIL sometimes buys each of is an additional small present he has seen that he thought we would like- a book usually.

SockUnicorn · 07/01/2018 01:55

@esk1mo All my family and DPs family either get us a joint gift or a gift of the same value each. Before we got together our DPs spent more on us than they do now as we were one person. Now they spend a bit less but the same on EACH of us. I also treat all our family like this when a new partner comes and they get serious. I would say your MIL is maybe just not understanding what shes doing or how its offensive

Leigha3 · 07/01/2018 02:05

One of my petty grandmothers once gave her daughter-in-law 3 ugly shirts in the wrong size and left the price tags on showing they cost £1.10 each. That was not a nice gift, it was my Grandmother being a total cow by making it clear she disapproved of her son's choice of a wife.

So it is the thought that counts and sometimes the thought behind any gift of any value is passive aggressive and nasty.

Just wondering if the MIL in question actually gave a thoughtful nice gift regardless of cost or if she was having a dig at her DIL over some unspoken issue she has with her by purposely buying an inexpensive gift for her. Guess it would be easier to know with more info on their relationship and examples of past gifts.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 07/01/2018 02:30

rightknockered
One year my (ex) MIL gave me a half used bottle of nail varnish, with matching half used lipstick
I know I shouldn’t but I sniggered.what a clarty cow to do that

Leigha3
One of my petty grandmothers once gave her daughter-in-law 3 ugly shirts in the wrong size and left the price tags on showing they cost £1.10 each. That was not a nice gift, it was my Grandmother being a total cow by making it clear she disapproved of her son's choice of a wife

Is grandma called Peggy Mitchell?That’s really going some,to purposefully buy wrong size, & leave tag on

rocky4 · 07/01/2018 03:13

My MIL bought me a pair of boots in the wrong size, even though she could easily have asked DP my shoe size.

The boots just so happened to be exactly the same as hers, in her size. No receipt available. So after months of noticing me not wearing them, she actually just asked for them back. I was quite stunned and on the spot so I handed them over.

I'm 90% sure she done this on purpose.

Still waiting on that gift to be replaced 2yrs on...

Twoo · 07/01/2018 03:40

I get where you’re coming from OP. My mil bought me a Primark pant & vest set and DH had approximately 14 gifts to open. He looked like a toddler sat in the middle of the room surrounded by gifts and wrapping paper. It was quite the spectator sport. He was 43 at the time.

thebewilderness · 07/01/2018 03:46

Yes, that sort of blatant in your face unfairness in treatment would offend me. I think it was intended to send you a message.

RestingGrinchFace · 07/01/2018 04:04

No. I would however be offended at the though of people calculating the value of gifts like that.

AstridWhite · 07/01/2018 04:14

I wouldn't be offended by a £4 gift per se, if it's what everyone got and I'd like to see people spending less on tat that no-one really wants or needs anyway.

But I would be offended if she was much more generous to her son and others than to me. It's treating you as an afterthought and showing that she is obliged to buy for you, but doesn't feel inclined to treat you to anything really nice. I had those 'obligation' presents, either do it properly or don't do it at all.

BackInTheRoom · 07/01/2018 10:33

I'd be offended but would use this opportunity to realise you're two very different people. You are more thoughtful, her less so. So no more thoughtful pressies for MIL from now on because it brings out the worst in you. Also, she owes you nothing for you treating her DS so well, you did it out of love for your DP, not for her benefit because you're now aware, she doesn't recognise things like this, she ain't you basically! Move on OP, it's all good in the hood 👍

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread