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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I have cut off my partners money - AIBU?

98 replies

oodlesofnoodless · 06/01/2018 23:18

My partner & I seperated mid December.

At the start of August he bought himself a new car which at the time he could afford. In October he lost his job & hadn't bothered finding one after (big reason we split up) even though he had a massive loan to repay.

He asked if I could contribute towards the loan until he found a job which I did but this was on my terms and there was no legal agreement. Basically a favour.

The day after we broke up I ended all contributions and yesterday I got the phone call asking to start them up again. I said I wouldn't as we were no longer together.

Am I being super harsh?

OP posts:

BlondeB83 · 07/01/2018 14:49

Tell him to sell the car and pay off the loan.

Tistheseason17 · 07/01/2018 14:53

YADNBU!
What a CF! Bet he thought he could become a kept man.
Your sister is Odd - something going on there. No one suggests a legal agreement when no reason to have one exists. Unless... she's seeing him and wants him to keep the car....

Trills · 07/01/2018 14:53

He is absolutely not your problem any more.

Chances are he'll now try to make it his sister's problem - sounds like he's not able to take care of his own shit.

Aeroflotgirl · 07/01/2018 14:57

The when point of you splitting up was because of him not bothering to find a job. Yanbu he is not your responsibility, you owe him nothing. He can pull his trousers up and get a job like everybody else. He is being a massive Cheeky F asking you to support him financially after your split. Mabey your sister can support him if she feels that strongly about it!

Appuskidu · 07/01/2018 14:58

YANBU.

The only odd thing about all this is why on earth your sister thinks you should Ben paying?! Why does she think you should be responsible for paying back someone else’s car loan?

Bluntness100 · 07/01/2018 15:00

Honestly, your sister isn't kind hearted she's a loon. Who the hell would pay for their ex's car. I can't even believe he asked you to. Does he have no self respect? He can go get a friggen job.

Bluntness100 · 07/01/2018 15:04

Still not getting my head round "set up a legal agreement till he gets a job". What so he can earn on the side and you pay for his car? Or he can delay getting a job? You were only together a year, he wasn't even your partner, just a boyfriend.

One of the more bizzare requests I've read about on here and that's saying something,

Aeroflotgirl · 07/01/2018 15:08

Walk away and never look back, you owe him nothing

BMW6 · 07/01/2018 15:11

This is completely bonkers! If he can't afford to relay the loan on HIS car, he must sell the car.....

What planet is he from (and your sister for that matter)? If she feels so bad for him she can give him some of her money!

Please tell both of them to stop being so bloody ridiculous

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 07/01/2018 15:12

As if lending money to a boyfriend of only a year isn't bonkers enough, the now ex-BF expects his ex to keep paying his loan? What planet is he on!

DoubleAces · 07/01/2018 20:38

Is your sister having an affair with him?

Soozikinzii · 07/01/2018 20:43

No YANBU you have to move on and look after yourself now x

Soozikinzii · 07/01/2018 20:44

Maybe your sister wants to pay his car for him?

NotSureThisIsWhatIWant · 07/01/2018 20:52

One year together and he wants you to take on his debt when you have ended it because he won’t look for another job?

No.

Cbaanymore123 · 07/01/2018 20:58

Sorry but who pays someone's bills after a year relationship. Are you his sugar mommy ?

Cbaanymore123 · 07/01/2018 21:00

She thinks I should set up a legal agreement until he gets a job but, I think otherwise...

His already got one. With the finance company. If he cannot afford the car he should give it back.

You need to learn how to not be foolish with your money around men. Is this the first time you have taken in someone else's problems or finances.

FluffyWuffy100 · 07/01/2018 21:14

Couple for a year? No chance!

Theresnonamesleft · 07/01/2018 21:16

Haha not a chance

missiondecision · 07/01/2018 21:21

Lol at sugar mummy ... tell her to pay it for him if she’s so broken hearted for his hardship.
Fuck no.

DoubleAces · 07/01/2018 23:04

Gotta be having an affair to suggest continue paying....lol

ReanimatedSGB · 07/01/2018 23:43

When you dump someone, unless you have a shared home or DC together, you owe that person the exact sum of fuck all. You don't have to ever see, speak to or spend time with that person ever again. Is your sister a well-meaning wuss who thinks everyone should 'be kind' to random chancers, or what?

Fluffyears · 07/01/2018 23:54

Ha ha ha what planet is he on. Mindbyouninhaf a CF ex like this. I paid throughout our relationship as he was a lazy cheating bastard. When we split he still thought I would be bankrolling him. He got a serious let down.

JoJoManon · 08/01/2018 21:20

@oodlesofnoodless: "I have cut off my partners money - AIBU"
He isn't your partner and it's not his money, it's yours.
Ergo no, YANBU. YABU to even need to ask

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