...to wonder if we’re the first generation to stand up to MILs?

[BlairBass]

Just an idle thought as I’ve seen on quite a few threads others who have decided that low-contact or no-contact were called for with MIL (and for totally valid reasons!)
But do you think we’re the first generation to have the strength of mind or defiance of social norms to do this?
It seems to me that historically If you got a dodgy mother in law you just had to put up with her... it would have been so far outside of society/family values to simply refuse to see her.
I think it’s wonderful and the way of the future - but I wonder why so many MILs are so determined to be intrusive, judgemental, rude, etc. Would they do this if it was a very real option that they’d lose contact with their son’s wife and children? Hmmmm...
also, I am sure there are many ghastly daughter in laws too, I just don’t hear so many stories 😉

I had a wonderful MIL who was there if you needed her and never interfered. My ex was one of nine in the family, mostly boys and MIL told him he had to do his fair share in the house as we were both working full time - and he did. I have tried to emulate her with my daughters as they have settled, if I am asked for my opinion I can be too honest at times, but not in malice. Generations are changing all the time, just go with the flow and do what suits yourself.

Acrossthe

Just speak to her the way you'd like to be spoken to.

Thank you for this-I really needed to hear it!

@Accrossthepond - that bought tears to my eyes so beautifully written. That is how a dad feels when he his daughter gets married and that is how is mum’s should feel when our sons meet someone they live.

"So when I read mil pissed me off because she opened dc present (complete example)" if that's a reference to the thread where the mil was STEALING her gc gift - that wasn't even the only reason! As in many of the threads quoted on threads like this described as being "Nc for no reason" there's actually a LOT more to it - that example was a "straw that broke the camels back" which is what I have always noticed on these threads. By the time people are getting to the point of cobsidering lc/Nc there's a long history of shitty behaviour.

"but I think it is sad when children are totally deprived of a relationship with their grandparents." Bad parents tend to make pretty crappy grandparents too - certainly true in my case

Thanks, wheres and hello. I don't think I'm out of the ordinary. I think there are far more lovely MiLs out there than 'not so lovely' ones.

I think it's pretty easy to have a good MiL/DiL relationship. All we ask is that you love our sons. And all our DiLs ask is that we love them, too.