AIBU to be fed up of judgyness??

[SquirmyWormy]

Aware I am in for a flaming but it really pisses me off being judged negatively for having tattoos. I'm a sensible 30 year old educated professional who is married with children but the fact that I have tattoos means that some mumsnet posters seem to think all those with tattoos are the fucking anti christ.
I love my tattoos. I love how they look and how they make me feel.
I do not get tattoos so that people I meet in RL deem it appropriate to make comments like 'I hate tattoos.'
Well I hate people who judge others for how they look rather than the person they are.

Yanbu

I don't see anything wrong with tattoos assuming you don't have "fuck off" across your forehead

we all judge one way or another and i guess this is their judge

I'm surprised you are judged because tattoos are so popular nowadays - it's no longer a rarity to see them. I'd estimate that 50% of women in my workplace have a tattoo, and that's in a very mundane office environment, not a creative or arty workplace.

So is it people saying on MN they don’t like tattoos that bothers you, or have people in RL judged you?

What do you care what other people think about tattoos? Are they not allowed opinions because you don't like them? If you like them and are happy with them, what does it matter to you if other people don't like them?

Everyone judges, you do too OP. You should be asking yourself why you're bothered, if you were secure in your own choices and opinions then you wouldn't be,

Some tattoos are beautiful and works of art most are bad to mediocre. I only judge people who think they are cool and alternative when it seems that every other 20-30 something has one.

we all judge one way or another and i guess this is their judge

Exactly this. And it's all rather hypocritical, the OP is busy judging people herself!

Of course everyone judges people. But I keep my nasty judgements to myself. It's people in RL thinking it's ok to say they hate the way I look to my face!

It's rude to tell someone you hate an aspect of their appearance, regardless of what that aspect is. I'm not sure that someone saying they 'hate tattoos' is necessarily judgmental, though - not liking the appearance of something aesthetically isn't the same as judging it - however, expressing dislike to someone who has visible tattoos is rude and goady.

I think honestly it does bother me what people think of me with regards to the tattoos because they seem to represent to some people a certain stereotype. I'm currently job hunting and, as I work with children, I'm wary of being judged negatively. I could cover my tattoos but why should I? People don't have to cover up false nails or eyelash extensions, etc. It seems like tattoos are seen as something excessive and inappropriate when they're so common and mainstream nowadays. Some people just need to move with the times I think.

What (and where) are the tattoos? The fact that most people you meet judge them negatively would suggest they're somewhat extreme?

I don't have any knowledge of your field, but tattoos wouldn't hold you back in interviews where I work (unless they were hate symbols or pornography). Even the Head of Department has a visible tattoo.

To be honest a lot of people judge the tattoos and not so much the person wearing them... which is just involuntary. Of course having an opinion out loud is voluntary, but so is having an opinion out loud on anything.

TLDR; Don’t feel judged, it’s likely just the art they dislike, and if you like it then who cares?

Some people just need to move with the times I think

No, people do not have to change their opinions and preferences because someone else has decided that something is more acceptable now.

I don't care about tattoos in general, I have two myself. But I don't like certain kinds of tattoos and they can say something about the people who have them. I don't have to apologise to you for thinking whatever I want to about it.

I have no tattoos as I dislike them from an aesthetic point of view (the same way I don't like glittery clothes or certain colours, totally a personal preference)

It wouldn't cross my mind to judge anyone who has them and, to be honest, I've never noticed this supposed widespread hatred for them.

I have lived and worked in many countries, moved around a lot and currently live in a village in Scotland and the only people I ever hear talking about tattoos are... people with tattoos!

I think tattoos are vile I'm afraid. And I do judge those who have them.

I think it's best to cover them for interviews, it's too much of a statement

It's really no different than me ironing my interview outfit, polishing my shoes, wearing smarter clothes

For most professional jobs looking calmly smart and professional is the norm

At interview you're trying to get them to like you and if some people dislike tattoos then there's no point giving them something to count against you

I get what you're saying op, people judge others for the most random of things. People are wankers sometimes.
I was judged by a close friend for using a dummy, after my baby was waiting for life saving surgery, unable to feed for 48 hours at 4 weeks old and I was told my a consultant to make sure they had a dummy.
Ignore it and enjoy your tattoos

I dislike tattoos intensely. I don’t understand why anyone would choose to disfigure themselves. They used to have shock value but too many have them now for them to have much impact. I think they always look grubby and a bit ‘rough’ but accept others like them.

I loathe tattoos, probably about as much as you love them but I would never say and have never openly said 'you look awful' but if pressed I would say 'I am not a fan'.

Tattoo fans do seem awfully sensitive, have you sent the bun fight on the other thread? All complaining about being judged for their 'artwork' yet quick to fling the insults about.

We meet lots of people during the week and unfortunately we don't have time to get to know them all and see if they are kind decent people.
So we make a judgement on what we see in about 10 seconds and that can be negative for people with tattoos. If you are secure in your choices and happy with your tattoos why do you bother what bother people think?
Or are you judgemental of people who do not think like you?

For me an opinion about a tattoo is that, an opinion. Judging someone on ANYTHING is wrong. So, it's wrong to assume someone is going to behave a certain way due to tattoos is wrong but wanting everyone to love them is wrong too.

I think tattoos are vile I'm afraid. And I do judge those who have them.

so you meet someone, you like them become friends, then find out they have a tattoo thats not visible then you start judging them
that says more about you

I accept not everybody likes tattoos - of course! My grandma dislikes them but is polite about it. It's people who OPENLY comment saying they hate them to my face which really bothers me. I am not asking people to change their opinions. I'm asking people to not openly say how horrible they are. It offends. It would offend if I told someone I hated the way they dressed or had their hair for example. Acceptance is all I'm asking. I'm not asking for the world to fall in love with tattoos.

The only person who ever criticized my tattoo to my face is someone who is very “proper” and conservative, and hung up on how things “should be done”.

This person has made a lifestyle choice that is quite often criticized here on Mumsnet and that I personally wouldn’t make for a number of reasons. Of course, I would never say so to her because it’s her life and her choice, and makes zero difference to me. Just like my tattoo to her.

I actually quietly enjoy and am amused by the fact that she’s the one hung up on “how things should be” yet I’m the one with better manners than her.

You could try taking that approach rather than railing against the fact that some people either don’t understand basic civility or are so narcissistic that they think their opinions on things that don't affect them are interesting to anyone but themselves.