AIBU to be fed up of judgyness??

[SquirmyWormy]

Aware I am in for a flaming but it really pisses me off being judged negatively for having tattoos. I'm a sensible 30 year old educated professional who is married with children but the fact that I have tattoos means that some mumsnet posters seem to think all those with tattoos are the fucking anti christ.
I love my tattoos. I love how they look and how they make me feel.
I do not get tattoos so that people I meet in RL deem it appropriate to make comments like 'I hate tattoos.'
Well I hate people who judge others for how they look rather than the person they are.

People just come up to you and tell you that they hate your tattoos, with no conversation about it or lead in from you? On a regular basis?
I find that hard to believe.

We all get judged, all the time. I'm sure I get judged for being fat. Dh get judged for having a three-foot pony tail and wearing holey jumpers. We don't care. If someone was openly rude about my weight (certain uncles, for example) then I would be offended, but more because they opened their gob and embarrassed me/others than because they privately judged - we all do that, it's involuntary.

Personally I think tattoos with wedding dresses look as rough as fuck. I wouldn't pipe up at someone's wedding. I would just flinch to myself.

I don't like tattoos at all but when friends show me theirs I do my best to appreciate them and make nice comments. It just seems polite to do so.

I don't have tattoos but my niece and her partner have loads and i don't think any less of them for this. In fact my DF has tattoos on both arms, done when he did national service and they are just part of him. And some of my best friends have tattoos. They are lovely people tattoo or no tattoo. I do not judge people on this basis.

OP- surely you must have known beforehand that tattoos are judged.

To get tattoos and then moan about being judged seems a bit ironic

I was going to say I don't judge people with tattoos, but then decided that's not true. I do look at what someone has tattooed and the quantity of tattooing and location and make some assumptions about their interests and values. but probably no more than I do about haircuts and clothes and far less than what someone says or does.

I really don’t like tattoos. But that’s why I don’t have any. I couldn’t give a crap if anyone else has them though. I don’t like earrings either. Or fake tan. Presumably it’s entirely possible for people to not like something without judging others for having it?

@SquirmyWormy - It's people who OPENLY comment saying they hate them to my face which really bothers me.

So basically, you are saying you dislike people being rude to you. Fair enough. However, that has absolutely nothing to do with whether they like or dislike your tattoos. It's about manners.

I generally think tattoos look awful. I have seen maybe one or two that I would consider to be art. Most I would consider to be as much art as a picture of dogs playing poker.

However, I would never comment to someone about their tattoos as I have manners. Certainly, I judge the owner, as we all do when it comes to appearance. There is nothing wrong with judging so long as it doesn't impact negatively on your treatment of a person. It doesn't mean I would dislike them or not want anything to do with them. It simply means I don't like their taste.

I find having a tattoo on my arm fantastic as it means judgemental twats don't engage with me or if they have to they are look at my arm then me distastefully.
This means I don't waste time with them, been great when DS started school for outing a few stuck up judgmental mums.

Just look at your tattoo as a judgemental twat radar

Why worry about it tho? I have lots, people who openly admit they judge people with tattoos are 95% of the time arseholes in general so they do you a favour tbh.

Also my above post was not aimed at people who just don't like tattoos but don't let that cloud what they think of a person I am talking about the ones that make a snap judgement all about you based only on a tattoo

I don't think the op was having a go at people who don't like tattoos rather having a go at people who make negative assumptions about her because of it

I’m surprised honestly when people say how popular they are now. None of my friends have them (early 30s), seriously. I have had acquaintances who’ve had one or two. No boyfriend I’ve ever had has had one. Never see them at work. Admittedly, some could be hidden under clothes but most of the women I work with closely I’ve seen in short sleeved or strappy tops or dresses on work nights out or Christmas meals etc, and I haven’t noticed any.
Of course I see people around and about with tattoos but I don’t tend to come into contact with people with obvious tattoos on a friendly or professional level .. ever .. so yeah, I’d probably do a double take if someone walked into a meeting with lots of obvious tattoos.

Totally agree with Golden and Downstairs. When I hear someone saying something judge mental/sexist/hateful/racist I just think to myself, “Ah, thank you for showing me who you are so clearly” and make a mental note to avoid them as much as possible in the future.

Why are you bothering to get upset about this? Other people will think whatever about all kinds of things all the time. There have been umpteen ranting threads on it and it always kicks off.

I’m a Professional with 2 1st class degrees and a Masters covered in tatts...... people will inevitably make assumptions based on that just like they do about lots of other life choices I’ve made (from the lack of ironing to the breeds of dog I own).

The only time it’s made me go was when a drunk nasty old man came to to me and my tattooed friend in Lanzarote and told us he didn’t want to spend his night listening to feminist lesbians (clearly both massive insults in his tiny brain). I said what makes you think I’m a lesbian? He said that muck all over your arms. My friend’s dad nearly clumped him one.

Haters gonna hate

BorgQueenie

I do too, i'm afraid. I feel sorry for anyone who chooses to self harm to be honest.

I meant to add - some of my best friends hate them - and that’s fine. We are all different. My best male friend said ‘oh darling, why’ve you put bumper stickers all over the Mercedes?’ (nowadays it’s more a Volvo Estate but never mind...).

YANBU tattoos don't really mean much nowadays. As far as I know. No one really cares because most people have a couple. I'm jealous! I'd love to be covered in tatts but I'm too scared and not sure what I'd want. You ain't no heathen though, be proud of them! I would be! If I had loads of money and a good tattoo artist and could stand the pain, my arms and legs would be covered in beautiful crystals and cats and wolves!! Tattoos can be beautiful!!

I may raise my eyebrows but I wouldn't comment !!

theymademe
Thanks for making me 🤣

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3129040-Openly-judgmental-towards-tattoos?msgid=74594987#74594987

My thread

I do too, i'm afraid. I feel sorry for anyone who chooses to self harm to be honest.

What a ridiculous comment to make. I think you need to look up the definition of self harm and the reasons behind it before making insulting comments like this.

I agree, it makes no sense to me, either.
It's not something I've ever experienced in real life, though. I only read about it on here. Anyone trying themselves in knots over someone's body and preferences would get my sympathy, because there are important things to worry about in life which actually will affect them.

Tying themselves up in knots*

Thank you for your replies. You're right - those that make judgements about who I am based on my tattoos are not worth the time of day.

P.S. got another tattoo booked in for next Friday.