Not to role play with my children?

[Tinseltower]

I don’t know why but I really really dislike playing. The type where you play with figures or cars etc or even mums and dads style playing. I’ll happily play other things with them like board games or hide and seek or do things with them like baking.

I feel guilty as by middle child always asks and I deflect him into something else or suggest something I like.

Am I harming them by not playing with them?

glad I'm not the only one

I do it with my son but I don't particularly enjoy it. I've had to do it at speech and language therapy for observation recently and I felt ridiculous, especially with adults watching and deciding if I was encouraging him "properly". My DH however loves it and could play pretend with our son for hours so I don't feel too guilty if I don't do it. Plus I obviously play with him in other ways. I am pregnant now so I'm hoping he'll rope his sibling into doing this stuff as they get older

I'm the same as a lot of posters here- I don't enjoy it but I do it anyway and I love seeing them so happy. One of my sisters LOVES playing so I must say, if she's here then she'll be the 'player'!

Ds has always spent more time discussing how to play the than actually playing he is a stickler for details

I would always be doing it wrong anyway so often act as though I’m playing along and improvise

Do other things with them. Kids are quite capable of playing by themselves. As long as you do other things with them i don't think there's anything wrong with this.

Hated it beyond reason.

I learned a few 'voices' and did the bare minimum. It literally made me start falling asleep.

I did lots of other stuff though, and they don't seem any the worse for it.

I hate roleplay. I do it occasionally but I really don't like it. I do lots of other activities with them like board games, outdoor games, crafts, cooking and reading. There's 3 of them so they roleplay with each other if they want to.

I can't do role play. It puts a knot in my stomach and a fake smile on my face. We're all good in different things. I play board games with them, race around, play catch, wrestle etc. My sister makes me feel crap, she's good at role plays, makes up her own bedtime stories, I stick to books. I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
My two make up their own games all the time, that's where they got their role play from. And in school.
Don't worry about it.

I hated role play when I was a child and hate it even more now. I would much rather do something.

DD is an only child so she does want me to play. Sometimes I try role play but I hate it, I always do it wrong anyway and she tells me off I would much rather read with her or draw or cycle or mess about in the garden. Anything really.

I am happy to play all sorts of stupid games with her, but if I am pouring tea and baking cakes I want it to be drinkable tea and edible cakes.

She can play make believe with her friends, that's what play dates are for and I can MN on the sofa

I think YABU if your child really wants to play a certain way, why would you say no. Its not about you, games are for children to learn let them direct you to what they like don't impose your views on them, after then you can play your thing with them. It should be about the child not the adult

I think there's a danger that as parents we end up feeling that playing with our children involves doing exactly what they want even if it is uncomfortable or frustrating or boring for us. But another child wouldn't stand for that, and children need to learn to play cooperatively in a way that others will enjoy. So yes, I do play all sorts of pretend games but I refuse to be pushed about and try to make it fun for us both. Sometimes there are tantrums but sometimes we both have a great time. Even if the game itself isn't great fun I find I love the insight into his world that I get from engaging, and occasionally throwing in a wildcard suggestion to see how he will react. It could be that the reason that some of you don't like pretend play is that you (rightly) don't like being pushed around - but that's not a necessary part of role playing with your child, and you might both find it more enjoyable if you were less tolerant of being bossed about.

There's a book called Playful Parenting which has some great insight into the importance of pretend play and ideas for things to do.

Im not an imaginative person so i don't enjoy role playing games either, if my son wants me to play with him I just sit on the floor and watch him and ask questions like 'whats that car/train doing' 'why don't you race them' etc things like that so i am still somewhat involved. I don't think its a bad thing to not want to play like that, but I wouldn't stop them completely just change the way i join in.

I don't much like role play and I work in a nursery. I play for a little while then encourage another child into the game so I can leave them to it.
I can happily play with sand, water, play dough or craft activities for hours.
I think as adults we kind of loose the ability to play in that way and it is unnatural and there fore difficult.

Sometimes dd calls me Superman or something and I go along with it a bit, or gives me some plastic food to eat from her kitchen and I pretend to eat it. But I don't play role play with her exactly...I didn't know this was a thing parents did.

She plays a lot with her toys and talks away to them, I don't think I had anything like her imagination when I was a child. I certainly don't have one now.

Bit harsh. Even if you don't enjoy it, do it to make your child happy

I'm a bit confused about what it is people are actually doing when they "play role-play" with their child? I've never heard of this before. I've heard of role play but to me that is something more spontaneous and something that comes naturally from the child? But I'm getting the impression from this thread that it's more of an organised activity? Sorry for all the question marks, I'm genuinely a bit bamboozled. Funny word, not one I use often. Bamboozled. Ha.

Role play in my house involves DD going ‘Mum I’ll be the good girl and you can be the bad girl who wants my puppy but also be the Mum and the big sister and the baby oh and also the puppy’

I am an educationalist and writing this with my professional hat on.

You will not harm them as long as you are generally attentive and loving towards them. Children need to learn to play by themselves to a certain extent anyway, otherwise they become rather over-dependent on adults to entertain them. That's not to say they should be ignored, but things like the board games, hide and seek and baking that you describe are quite enough. The rest of the time they can be encouraged to spend time making their own fun, with you companionably nearby.

We all have our strengths and weaknesses! I loathe baking with a passion and get irritated doing craft( the mess?!?!) but I rock at lego and role-playing. Yanbu

Baubletrouble43

Exactly.

It's a nonsense to suggest that children are damaged by not playing role play with parents.
Children will thrive in an environment where they are loved, given time, attention and stimulation.

I'll happily play the floor is lava, hide and seek with the lights off and my dd knows if we're playing dress up i'm Harry Potter. However, by no stretch of the imagination will I be playing dolls. Unless we're attaching paper towels to their backs and throwing them out the window to test gravity. We play together a lot and the majority of the day we spend quality time- they know they're loved and I hope they'll look back at all the time we tried and failed to make play doh.

I'll happily play my part when she's made an office out of boxes, or opened a hair salon. But she won't ask me to play lego vets or barbies as apparently I just don't take it seriously.

I offered to look after my friend's 5 year old the other day. The girl doesn't know how to play by herself. I always wondered why my friend always looked so stressed out and now i've figured. If the bedroom routine isn't stressful enough having to do it during the day to 5 barbies is enough to push anyone over the edge.

I usually like doing imaginary play with my son, what I hate is one particular game where, apparently, there are snakes all over the floor and you have to walk around the snakes. Except the snakes are invisible and apparently wherever my foot goes is wrong even if it is where my son put his foot 3 seconds earlier (the snake moved) and then he gets cross whilst I hop around trying to avoid the invisible snakes. Actually on reflection, I think the actual game might be making mummy hop around like a fool.

That said, I think a chI'll playing with an adult is always different to a child playing by themselves or with another child - and I think the later to are probably more important, so if I didn't enjoy imaginative games with my child I'd do something else with them instead.

The mental load required for role playing games is different to that required for other activities and I find it exhausting. I can't do the mental work of menu planning or laundry sorting at the same time as making up my part of the story DD wants, but I can while baking or doing crafts. Don't know if that makes sense to anyone else?

Not sure how anyone can call you U. You don't like it. You are entitled to your feeling. I hate it. I didn't do it. That's why they should be encouraged to play by themselves and with other children. I was at home alone until nursery. I played by myself with an old green and white striped stroller and red umbrella. I can't remember what game I was playing, role I was pretending, but I enjoyed it and did it often. I think I have great imagination (even if I do say so myself), used to write short stories often. I still give strangers on trains whole lives. It's fun.
I don't like role play and hate group centred activities also, especially the work related ones.

Not Unreasonable. Just you.