Not to role play with my children?

[Tinseltower]

I don’t know why but I really really dislike playing. The type where you play with figures or cars etc or even mums and dads style playing. I’ll happily play other things with them like board games or hide and seek or do things with them like baking.

I feel guilty as by middle child always asks and I deflect him into something else or suggest something I like.

Am I harming them by not playing with them?

I hate role play and don’t do it. I deflect to making the figures a lego or cardboard town or castle instead. Ds can make up the stories, I’ll build the set :)

I hate it too. I'll happily build Lego, make playdoh creations do a puzzle, etc but I hate role play. I can cope with being a chasing monster for about two minutes and that's it. She can role play with other children.

I never did it with my two, apart from the odd “yum” while pretending to eat the play food they’ve served me. They are now 10 and 8 and are often praised for their imaginations, they play loads still. All three of us are autistic, they can ‘do’ imagination, I can’t. I prefer board games and puzzles as they have rules, DS loves them too but DD struggles, we are all different. As long as they have attention and love I don’t think it matters exactly what form it takes

I don't have children so I accept some of you will say my opinion is irrelevant, but I think child's play is for children. Children do children't things and adults do adult's things. If a child has nobody to play with they can use their imagination (as I did as the only girl in the family whose brothers had no interest in playing house).

"I don't do it. Is this a modern thing? My parents didn't do this and I can't remember anyone else's when I was a child."

I'm sure most parents throughout the ages were too busy working or looking after the home. I think I remember only one occasion of my mum playing with me. My grandmother was there as well and that's probably the reason why my mum had the spare time to pretend to be at a dolls' tea party.

This thread is so sad.

Children learn through play and role play is really important. I loved doing it with our two (23 &21), DH was very often on the floor with them playing with Playmobil, Lego, their zoo and farm. DS1 used to wait at the door every evening, for DH, with his Stickle Bricks so they could build and play.

I loved doing role play with the kids when I worked at the nursery too.

TheFairy - but don't you think that children should also learn the difference between children and grown ups and how to entertain themselves for a bit?

I hate it too and dodged it as much as possible. I did loads of other things with them and they don’t appear to have suffered any ill effects.

"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man [sic], I put away childish things."

1 Corinthians 13:11

I loved it ! My DS used to have a pretend cafe with a name and he would make up and write out ( with wrong spellings ! ) little menus and have daily specials and I used to be the customer. I'd place the order and he would pretend to cook it and serve me. Then I would pretend to eat it. It went on for a long time, I would always be excited to find out what was on the menu as it changed on a daily basis.

DD had a different game involving a pretend shop. It was either a clothes shop, garden centre or a hairdresser. She was always the shopkeeper and she used to want me as the customer to be 'phoning up' the shop to ask for certain things or book a haircut, and then to be 'driving ' there and come in etc. she would pretend to serve me or do my hair. The toy till would be involved too.

Both these games were their own ideas.

Ah you've made me remember some happy times. Mine are age 19 and 16 now.

Could you think of something you enjoy and try to base a game around that OP ? Doesn't have to be complicated or go on for very long.

I think some people don't realise how important role play can be for children. During role play children copy and mimic actions they have watched usually from us parents. The idea of the role play isn't about children playing it's about learning. It's how children learn. I honestly didn't realize how important role play and the interaction with adults during role play was till I had a child with significant development delays.

I'll be the same, I'll prob enjoy baking or doing some crafy things with paints and bits or those kits where you make/grow things. At the moment I have no choice but to do the 'silly play' as ds only 10 months old so doesn't understand other stuff yet.

Aspie - yes, but we all role played as children without our parents necessarily taking part, didn't we? Children do that naturally.

OP maybe you have performance anxiety? As an adult you’re not used to role playing so it feels forced, like you’re putting on a performance, and that then makes you feel self conscious, even if it’s just you and your child in the room! I try and just say/do whatever silly things come into my head, reconnect with my inner child. It can be tricky but you get better with practice

I hate it as well, but luckily my son never did it as he's has asd so we just used to line his cars up or I used to play on the computer with him. My dds had each other so played role play with each other. I do arty craft stuff with them or play cards or board games with them instead.

I have done it though usually playing shops or babies (with their dolls)

I'm so glad to have found this thread. Always feel awful that I hate playing and thought it was a sign that I'm a bit of a shit parent

I think some people don't realise how important role play can be for children. During role play children copy and mimic actions they have watched usually from us parents. The idea of the role play isn't about children playing it's about learning. It's how children learn. I honestly didn't realize how important role play and the interaction with adults during role play was till I had a child with significant development delays.
It is important and they do it all the time. From watching you go about your day to you providing them with a dressing up box and tea sets and mini figures and dolls. Then nursery provide the tools too.

But you don’t have to play dollies’ tea parties or shops yourself

This is why they need friends. Then they can play it together.

Not everybody is naturally a Disneyfied all singing all dancing one woman band. And that's okay

Not every need for kids needs to be met by adults. I'm always happy to join with some pretend cafe / cooking but not endless games of Lego and car pretend - perhaps because the Montessori approach doesn't generally tend to involve adults in pretend play? I also think that it's really good for the kids to be in charge in their imaginary world, and learn how to encourage other kids to join them, not having an adult bring their own ideas in.

I fucking hate crazy golf and refuse to play it. Doesn't make me a bad parent though.

Ooh no, I'm not a role player either. Or a player much in general really! I'm a chatter, a person who loves taking them out, doing things with them, but playing, not really!

Fortunately they're really close in age and love playing together so everyone's a winner!

Some role play games drive me mad, I get bored quickly in the goodie/baddie attacking type scenarios. Big brother is much better.

Like HeyhoIndigo described though, shop and cafe I can happily play. We also play those two a lot outdoors in playgrounds. Underneath climbing frames etc make great shops to visit.

I don't know whether it's reasonable or not. Parents shouldn't feel guilty, you parent as yourself with a your own likes/strengths.

But playing "school"with my 3 year old reveals so much about his life at nursery. So for example if he is the parent collecting his teddy he will say all the other toys are sad because they think its their mum at the door. I know that one is obvious but he was really expressive about how it felt. For a little while he was a mum collecting and dropping off - repeatedly - over and over. It really helped me learn he was finding goodbye tricky and what that feels like for him.

It's fascinating watching him play out scenarios between the toys when we play school.

After my first tea party I made sure lots of toys were invited and I just supplied cake.I used to love listening in asy DD would be using my phrases to her talking to the toys!
I'm another one who liked crafts and going to the park.
I will never forget the heart sinking feeling on my birthday being given fun things to do in the garden which I had to do as she had spent ages arranging them.
Now she is a teenager,still into art and is currently role playing a typical teenager.

I do think that playing with your children is nice (and rather important). But it doesn’t have to be role play, does it?

DD1 currently likes to play hide and seek, draw (which we sometimes do together), play with her building blocks etc... or you could read them stories?

I used to ‘own’ a shop and my parents did sometimes visit / buy wooden carrots etc.
And DM and I used to have ‘real’ tea parties. (With cake, tea etc...) which were the absolute highlight of my week, tbh.