Aibu to say no presents for 5 year old

[Mrsknackered]

DS is 5 next weekend. Doing invites and was going to say 'no presents please', but AIBU? Is that a bit mean on him? He's not being punished or anything, I just don't want to put pressure on people to bring presents or feel guilty if they can't/don't attend for that reason.

I think presents are an important part of the birthday-boy-feeling 😊 so no, please don't say "no presents" on the invite. But if parents ask you what your boy would like to get, you could discretely hint that pencils, colouring books, crayola's, maybe a safe scissors and a glue-stick would be great. All presents you can buy in any price-range, from very cheap to very expensive, so I think most parents would be o.k. with buying those? That way you wouldn't have all the plastic junk, and at the same time those little presents would save you money since any child still needs that stuff anyway, right?

I understand why you want to say no presents but don't think you should!

If you’re a bit skint, I think it’s more reason to let him have the presents. Put some away and get them out later in the year when you’re too skint to do anything else and need a boost.

I agree, if you can't afford to buy mu house it will be a bonus to get some little gifts from his friends. As a skint mum of 3 I can tell you a) there are loads of cheap presents easily available for parents, even stuff from the pound shop will go down well with this age, and b) nobody ever goes to a party without a present so everybody will be expecting good to bring one.

Can't afford to buy much, I mean

Quite mean. I would understand ‘no toys’ if he had got loads for Christmas or asking for books / vouchers but nothing is a bit much especially as it’s expected to give presents at a 5 YO birthday party.

Put all the birthday things he gets in a big box and let him pick one or two out each week for the next couple of months to play with. If there are some things that just aren't really fun for him, why not suggest that he could give them away to a local refuge or charity shop?

OP has updated to say she’ll scrap the ‘no gift’ idea.

OP - I can see your stress in your updates to the original, nice of you to worry about other’s financial constraints, but totally right to concentrate on DS for here and now

Why on earth would you consider that?

Good that you've had a change of mind!

It's mean.

Loads of people around us have done this recently, and its starting to become more normal.we live in an area if small flats, there is no space, and most parents have the same problem. there is always domebody who brings presents thogh and makes everybody else uncomfortable... its tricky