Was I unreasonable to let my partner ring in sick for me? I have hardly any voice left

[curlysue1]

I was sick for most of December and so was our 1 year old. I had 1 week off (part time I work 3 days) but they let me take it as holiday early in December. I worked through the rest of it.

On Wednesday I went home an hour early as I was a walking hot mess, my whole body ached and burned. By the time I got home I was really poorly and I stayed in bed for the rest of the night.

Yesterday I still felt bad but I also had a terrible cough and sore throat and my tongue was covered in ulcers. I rang in sick and the store manager said it was fine.

Today I wake up and I feel like my throat is closing up, cough is horrible and again tongue is still covered in ulcers. I feel very achey and light headed. I would be absolutely no good at work at all. I work in retail.
I got my partner to ring in because it hurts to talk and when I do it’s croaky whisper which hurts. (I have no issue with ringing in at all usually, but today it really is uncomfortable and painful to talk)

A different manager demands that I ring in, partner tries to explain the reason I can’t but this manager is quite rude and Demands I ring in.

I now feel incredibly nervous and bad that I’m not at work. I feel genuinely not good enough or up to go stand and serve customers for 10 hours and lead a team doing so.

Am I being unreasonable not to ring back? They know I’m not going in. They know why I’m not going in. I’m lay in bed worrying. My partners mum is helping with the baby today as my partner has now gone to Work himself. So I finally get time to rest.

I’m not being a wet lettuce I promise. If it was any thing less I would go in to work but I can’t face talking to hundreds of people when I feel my tongue is the size of a whale and I’m as germ ridden as a rubbish tip.

It is different if you cannot speak, obviously, but being croaky is not the same thing.

The ring-yourself thing is because it's much easier to lie for someone else than to do it yourself. I don't know why but it is!!

And it gives the manager a chance to judge whether they want to say "ok call me again tomorrow if you're not better" so that people don't turn calling in sick for a day into going AWOL for a week.

And laryngitis-type illness is the number one way of trying to get out of making this call! So I would have wanted to speak to you too OP- but probably would have said ok enough after you'd whispered hello! So I don't think your other manager was being horrible, just doing what most would.

If someone's been advised by a doctor not to speak then they'll have a dr's note, so then that would be ok with a DH ringing in.

Get well soon OP

Ring them back then they will hear it for themselves and you can (in theory) stick 2 fingers up at them!! You have nothing to hide. If you need to just say you couldn't ring yourself because your throat and tongue were so sore and couldn't speak. Then you back to bed and ha e a lovely rest! Wishing you better soon

I had to phone in to work when I had laryngitis. DH was away so there was no one there to talk for me. I had emailed my boss but he said I had to call him so there was a record of the call.

The call entailed him asking the routine questions he had to ask and me pressing buttons on the phone as a response. I had to do this every two days for two weeks.

Sometimes managers have to ask to 'speak' to you as it's policy.

Well I've just been sacked and I haven't taken a sick day yet.

Love froginaponds posts.

Glad you’re sorted. Last year coming back from visiting rellies I had to write my name and address to give to the woman taking the taxi bookings in the airport. I had literally no voice. Not even a whisper. A phone call to work at that point would have been useless. Hope you feel much better soon. Try rest your voice as much as possible and don’t force a whisper.

There could be many reasons - they may want to check you aren’t abroad on holiday and getting someone else to ring in sick, or they may need to check for safeguarding eg you aren’t being held prisoner by your husband and being tortured!

Employers and managers also have a responsibility to make sure they are doing everything their end to help you back to work, or manage your workload for you in your absence. It’s meant to be a two way conversation for the benefit of both parties, nothing to get worked up about.

Glad you have got it sorted now OP and hope you are feeling better soon.

I've had to ring in sick this week. It has been little more than a grunt but I rang in. Mine looks really suss as it straight after annual leave, but I have been ill.

The policy at my work is that the person must call themselves (barring hospital etc.) and it is part of the back to work review. We must also call every day for the first week, unless there is a doctor's note. It's mostly just a check to see how the person is feeling/if there's anything that could be done to help/if they have any idea when they'll be back.

I'm meant to call in every day for the first 7 days, then it's doctors note. But my manager judges it on what you have and how you feel. I'm immune suppressed so I often get throat/chest things. HE hears me on the initial call and says "Oh god, you sound awful!" And generally lets me text after that. He's also very busy, so I often leave a voicemail, then text to let him knkw I rang, then if I don't get confirmation he's heard fron me (usually a text), I also email. That way I have a paper trail of timed and dated correspondence..

I had one manager once like the horrible one you describe OP. She used to insist I called her and only her, but invariably wasn't around to take calls. One day I was really really unwell and asked someone in the office to text me when manager returned from her meeting so I could call immediately. My colleague took it upon herself to tell our manager I was ill and had phoned in. Manager rang me and started laying into me that I wasn't senior enough to leave messages for her to pick up, it should be the other way around. I stopped her and told her what is requested my colleague did, and that my sole intention was to call in and speak to her as she wished. She didn't apologise as such, but she acknowledged I'd done all I could. She was a tyrant, some managers are and thus one sounds like she is too.

Don't sweat it, just hope you don't get her again! Rest up and feel better very soon.

ArnoldBee - that's so sad. In my last job, they hired a professional absence management service after I'd been there for a while, and this was the reason given for why we had to phone in ourselves if it all possible. A particular case was mentioned, and I sincerely hope that it was the one you were aware of and not a second one.

When I had tonsillitis and laryngitis (courtesy of a visit to the local hospital) and had to call in sick, my boss put it on speaker phone so the rest of the office to hear as he thought it was hilarious I had no voice and just squeaked! I had no voice for three weeks - tried to go back to work, but just got sent home as I was clearly still unwell.