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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I unreasonable to let my partner ring in sick for me? I have hardly any voice left

89 replies

curlysue1 · 05/01/2018 08:53

I was sick for most of December and so was our 1 year old. I had 1 week off (part time I work 3 days) but they let me take it as holiday early in December. I worked through the rest of it.

On Wednesday I went home an hour early as I was a walking hot mess, my whole body ached and burned. By the time I got home I was really poorly and I stayed in bed for the rest of the night.

Yesterday I still felt bad but I also had a terrible cough and sore throat and my tongue was covered in ulcers. I rang in sick and the store manager said it was fine.

Today I wake up and I feel like my throat is closing up, cough is horrible and again tongue is still covered in ulcers. I feel very achey and light headed. I would be absolutely no good at work at all. I work in retail.
I got my partner to ring in because it hurts to talk and when I do it’s croaky whisper which hurts. (I have no issue with ringing in at all usually, but today it really is uncomfortable and painful to talk)

A different manager demands that I ring in, partner tries to explain the reason I can’t but this manager is quite rude and Demands I ring in.

I now feel incredibly nervous and bad that I’m not at work. I feel genuinely not good enough or up to go stand and serve customers for 10 hours and lead a team doing so.

Am I being unreasonable not to ring back? They know I’m not going in. They know why I’m not going in. I’m lay in bed worrying. My partners mum is helping with the baby today as my partner has now gone to Work himself. So I finally get time to rest.

I’m not being a wet lettuce I promise. If it was any thing less I would go in to work but I can’t face talking to hundreds of people when I feel my tongue is the size of a whale and I’m as germ ridden as a rubbish tip. Confused

OP posts:
curlysue1 · 05/01/2018 09:26

My manger and the store manager and In fact most of the other managers are usually lovely and would never usually really care about a partner calling in. Lots of the ladies I’ve worked with have even texted in before!

It’s just this one manager. We used to work together and never really saw eye to eye, so when she got her promotion she really liked to let me know about it.

I rang in 10 minutes ago no one answered. It just rang and rang with no answer phone to leave a message to.

I should keep ringing I know.

OP posts:
thepatchworkcat · 05/01/2018 09:28

Just ring, it won’t take long. It’s explicitly stated in my work’s policy that you have to ring in yourself, unless actually unconscious!

curlysue1 · 05/01/2018 09:29

@FutureFairyCrayon you’re certainly no fairy are you.
It may be a non issue for you but I was asking for advice for a reason.

OP posts:
thepatchworkcat · 05/01/2018 09:29

X post.

Ooh texting is not allowed at my work either! It is frustrating when you can’t get through though, I’ve had that before but you have to keep trying. This one manager is probably following the policy and the others don’t!

SnowFairyDust · 05/01/2018 09:31

Keep ringing OP and than you can rest. Do you have to speak to the 'not so nice' manager? Can you speak to your manager?

user7654321 · 05/01/2018 09:33

YABU. Ring back and you will worry less for the rest of the day

RavingRoo · 05/01/2018 09:34

Why can’t you email in? It’s ridiculous not being able to email into a work account - what if you don’t have access to a phone?

diddl · 05/01/2018 09:34

What's the rationale behind the person themselves phoning?

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 05/01/2018 09:35

This one manager is probably following the policy and the others don’t!

This^^.

I’ve had jobs where none of the managers followed the policy though, so it can get confusing. Easier if they’re strict about it in some ways, then everyone dies the same thing.

PurpleDaisies · 05/01/2018 09:39

Why can’t you email in? It’s ridiculous not being able to email into a work account - what if you don’t have access to a phone?

It’s reasonable to expect people to phone in sick-emails aren’t always monitored and it’s often really important to get cover in place. I’d you’ve spoken to a person, they definitely know you don’t be there.

Ellie56 · 05/01/2018 09:45

Just keep ringing OP. I know it's a pain but you know you have to do it.

Mrsmadevans · 05/01/2018 09:45

Hope you feel better soon OP try not to take this managers behaviour to heart , she is definitely in the wrong . You could put in an official complaint about her attitude to HR . She sounds horrendous .

Dozer · 05/01/2018 09:47

You should call yourself.

Bowerbird5 · 05/01/2018 09:47

Can you put your phone on speak so your DH can say when you can't answer" she is here but isn't able to speak." You can make croaky attempt but don't answer more than two questions. They will get the message. I would get DH to ring and ask to speak to your manager then put you on with speaker if he needs to intervene. Do it now then stop worrying. I' m off ill too.

PerceptionIsReality · 05/01/2018 09:48

You should ring ASAP.

I'd speak to my own manager and say that since I'd had what little rest I was finally able to get disturbed in order to ring in (not to mention only to have no-one then answer), it's now extremely unlikely I'll be well enough to be in tomorrow either!

curlysue1 · 05/01/2018 09:50

I’ve spoken to my own manager. She was lovely. Made me feel more at ease and told me not to worry and just to call her next week if I won’t be in.

The other manager had left the phone in the office where no body was hence why no one was answering before.

OP posts:
TheObserverOne · 05/01/2018 09:50

Non-mumsnetty hand hold for you OP. I hate ringing in sick too so would be exactly the same as you in this situation. But take a deep breath and get it over and done with! You need to call in.

TheObserverOne · 05/01/2018 09:51

Cross post! Glad you sorted it op. Now put your feet up and relax

Rachel0Greep · 05/01/2018 09:53

Focus now on getting better. It's a horrible dose. Flowers

Basecamp21 · 05/01/2018 09:54

In this case I would just ring to get it over with but there cannot be a policy that you HAVE to ring in yourself.....what if you were unconscious or in hospital. It is completely unrealistic. However with a cold it would be difficult to understand why you cannot.

About once a decade I get horrendous migraines when I cannot even stand or string a sentence together. 8 hours later I am completely fine....but someone always has to ring in sick for me and it's never been a problem.

sonjadog · 05/01/2018 09:54

You should always ring in yourself (unless you are physically incapatable of course) and as soon as you know you are not going in. Even if it hurts to speak or talk, it only takes a minute.

supersop60 · 05/01/2018 09:55

Get your DH to ring in and say "I have a call for you from curlysue" then hand the phone to you.

Auburn2001 · 05/01/2018 09:58

Oh good. Hope the other manager gets pulled up on that!

Hissy · 05/01/2018 10:00

Get your DP to go and get you some difflam, works wonders with tonsillitis

Get well soon

SnowFairyDust · 05/01/2018 10:03

There you go, sorted!

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