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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU if you have a cold, stay at home...

283 replies

kateskates · 05/01/2018 05:15

... and don't bring tour germs into work. Everyone at my DHs office has caught a cold and are sneezing and coughing. My three month old DS has caught it. :(

OP posts:
Iwanttobe8stoneagain · 05/01/2018 07:43

No one would work between November and March! This will be one of the 8-10 colds your LOgets this year. It builds their immune system. Wait TIL they start nursey/school

TheFairyCaravan · 05/01/2018 07:46

Christ on a rubber bike! Some of you have got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning. Maybe the OP is being unreasonable but there’s ways and means of saying it.

FWIW DS2 caugut a ‘cold’ from the second midwife who was in the room when he was delivered. A week later he was in hospital, very poorly, with bronchiolitis.

Colds in babies are horrible and they can become very poorly, very quickly so I’d imagine the OP wasn’t thinking quite straight when she posted this and is worried about her baby.

Xeneth88 · 05/01/2018 07:46

You can't take time off for a cold! How ridiculous. It's a cold. Many people won't get sick days paid for or would face disciplinary action if they take time off for something so minor. Sick days are for actual illnesses. Half my office would be off now if they rang in because they have a cold. Luckily no one's a snowflake and we all come in, dose up and get on with it. We get paid in full if we're off but no one abuses it for a cold!

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 05/01/2018 07:47

Interestingly, I’m very rarely ill and have an excellent sickness record. Could be something to do with listening to body and not pushing self when genuinely unwell?

Or maybe you are just lucky.

Letseatgrandma · 05/01/2018 07:48

My DC’s school expects children in if they have a cold-it is not an acceptable reason for absence. Same for my job (teacher)-I would expect a disciplinary should I be off for a cold. In fact, we aren’t allowed time off for our children’s abscences for common ailments like colds or chickenpox.

You sound like someone who doesn’t have a job.

Original poster
kateskates · 05/01/2018 07:49

Oh gosh this has made so many people angry!
It appears most people are as grumpy as me in the middle of the night.

I was just musing, it's the third cold the little mite has caught and it's horrible seeing them struggling, you know?

No need for the nastiness

OP posts:
Original poster
kateskates · 05/01/2018 07:50

@Letseatgrandma
I do have a job

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 05/01/2018 07:51

It is horrible to see little babies struggling with a cold, and stuff in the middle of the night always seems ten times worse than it actually is.

Pluckedpencil · 05/01/2018 07:52

Ah poor little love, it is awful when they are tiny and a cold knocks them for six. Mine got bronchiolitis from a cold at 2 weeks and I was so worried about his little lungs. Ended up in an ambulance to a&e but he is a strapping 6 year old now, no issues. Yabu but I do agree it is horrible to be up with a baby with a cold.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 05/01/2018 07:53

It appears most people are as grumpy as me in the middle of the night.

Hardly call it the middle if the night Hmm

I was just musing, it's the third cold the little mite has caught and it's horrible seeing them struggling, you know?

No one has said it isn't but your solution is wrong.

glow1984 · 05/01/2018 07:53

Some companies don’t pay you for sickness, so I think YABU.

At my employer, it’s down to managers discretion. Luckily, I’ve always been paid but that could be because they can tell I am ill because I always go in for the first couple of days!

At the end of the day, your 3 month old needs to build up their immunity. In the first year, babies can catch up to 8-10 colds anyway.

So, yeah, YABU

SporadicSpartacus · 05/01/2018 07:53

@kateskates I know, right.

My employer has a pretty standard sickness policy and they’re not known for being lenient.

I took more time off for a bad cold than I did to recover from surgery this year. It’s about how bad you feel and how capable you are of doing your job. If a cold is bad enough to knock a healthy adult sideways, please keep it at home so those who are immunocompromised or just don’t get sick pay don’t get it.

sausagerollsrock · 05/01/2018 07:54

Oh Come on! I don't get sick pay and I have a business to run and bills to pay. Get in the real world.

Sirzy · 05/01/2018 08:02

Sadly you can’t avoid colds. Ds was 8 weeks old when he got his first cold he hadn’t knowingly been around anyone with a cold yet still managed to get one bad enough he is still dealing with the effects of
It 8 years down the line.

I am all for sensible precautions like avoiding baby groups but life does still
Go on.

ifonly4 · 05/01/2018 08:04

OP, did your DH take days off when he caught the cold then? Let us know where he works as some of us may want to to apply there if they're happy for people to be off 2/3 times a year with colds.

I know it isn't easy to have a little one suffering, but unless they develop serious complications, it's better to build up their immune system now rather than having to have lots of time off in secondary school or even when they work.

wednesdayswench · 05/01/2018 08:04

Unfortunately if I stayed off for every cold I would lose my job.

I'm sorry your LO is not well.

Bindibot · 05/01/2018 08:08

Hang on a minute people.

I an ex-Nurse so I understand having to go in with a cold.

I now work in an office where all but a few have the freedom to work from home. The amount of people who have still come in coughing and spluttering all over the place is ridiculous.

Whose to say the OPs husbands office doesn't have the same policy?

Bananasandwicheseveryday · 05/01/2018 08:08

Can you imagine the uproar if teachers, TAs etc took time off every time they had a cold? It's bad enough when parents complain about staff absence for more serious problems. Added to which, we pick up so many colds from the pupils that we'd hardly be at work if we had to stay home every time. And what about police? Firefighters? Public transport staff? Etc etc etc. The country would grind to a halt. The only people I think it would be reasonable to expect to stay home, would be healthcare staff because of the number of vulnerable patients they work with.
Sorry your baby is unwell, but for most, a cold is not going to be serious.

notsomanky · 05/01/2018 08:09

It's awful when they pick up colds so young, so I do sympathise.

I wish I could stay at home with a cold, but we don't get sick pay until SSP kicks in, so I can't afford it, and even if I could my work have a very strict absence managements policy. If i had been off every time I had a cold I would have been well on my may to being managed out of the door for "absence from work".

I hop your LO is feeling better soon, but YABU.

PocketCoffeeEspresso · 05/01/2018 08:10

I don't actually see the issue with changing this so that for the couple of days the cold is at it's worse, and you're using germ-ridden tissues constantly, that you stay out of the way of other people and stop spreading your germs.

In fact, the DCs last school had exactly this policy, and it worked well to stop the spread.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 05/01/2018 08:16

I don't actually see the issue with changing this so that for the couple of days the cold is at it's worse, and you're using germ-ridden tissues constantly, that you stay out of the way of other people and stop spreading your germs.

Some people don't feel that ill with colds. So why shpuld thry stay at home let alone potentially not get paid for doing so.

Some people have numerous colds a year.

IceBearRocks · 05/01/2018 08:16

This actually made me lol!!!
Unfortunately it is horrid when babies get ill. DS1 caught bronchiolitis and spent his first Christmas in hospital. His DD had the flu and he'd obviously caught it!
Unfortunately just one if those things!
People have to work and go to school even if they have a head cold. We wish we could protect them from everything !

MerryShitmas · 05/01/2018 08:18

You do realize that thousands of people are on or below the poverty line (and even if they aren't it's tough to lose money they need to survive)
Selfish, really?!
Confused
"Yeah sorry kids we'll have to go to the food bank this week, I lost half my wages after taking 3 days off work with a cold?"
You know employers don't pay SSP until you've been off for a week and it's only £90 for the week. How dare anybody call someone going into work with a cold selfish! Are you going to feed their children??
The fuck?

CoffeeBreakIn5 · 05/01/2018 08:22

I think it's made people angry because you sound so precious. Your healthy 3 month old has caught a cold, the same as most other babies at this time of year. But it's a cold, generally babies are recover well. You are requesting that people stay away from work, losing money/time and suffering all of the other implications of being off work - all so your DH doesn't bring germs home to your baby.

If your DH can see that there are sick people everywhere and it's a problem, why doesn't he put some holiday time in to avoid it? Or even ring in sick himself? Since you think it's ok for people to ring in sick for a bad cold it's better for one person to ring in than the 6 with the bad cold.

In a few years it will be your snotty child passing the germs to everyone else as you won't want them to miss more school for the 99th bad cold that year.

CoffeeBreakIn5 · 05/01/2018 08:25

And yes I have a cold and I have to go to work, I'd rather stay in bed. But it's the less selfish option to go to work because I'll be letting people down if I don't go.

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