Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think hotels and restaurant meals are not suitable for DC?

238 replies

FirstTimeLucky · 04/01/2018 21:12

Me, DH and our two DC, aged 5 and 3, are being forced to stay in a hotel for two nights with MIL, FIL and SIL for FIL’s milestone birthday. We are staying in a family room which MIL has booked. I have no desire to take all the chaos of Home and put us all in one room. On top of this, they have booked a 6.30pm meal for us all in the hotel restaurant. AIBU to think this is totally unsuitable for a 5 and 3 year old?? And then what will we do? Sit in the dark in our family room while they go to sleep? We’ve never stayed in a hotel with DC before. Added to this, neither DC are great sleepers and so will inevitably be difficult to get to sleep and up early. AIBU to really not want to go, or should we just suck it up for FIL’s bday?

OP posts:
Rebeccaslicker · 05/01/2018 09:56

sitters.co.uk has a service where the babysitter will come and sit in your hotel room - once i got over my fear of using it (I asked on here and everyone raved about it!), this has been a great option for us. Enjoy facilities during day; nice childfree dinner at night Smile

HermioneAndMsJones · 05/01/2018 11:40

I love the idea that one is just ungrateful for a gift that is going to make their life hell and is for the benefit of the giver!!

Serioulsy, a lot of children struggle with late nights, sleeping in a different place, need a full blackout room etc....
It might sounds strange to those parents who are lucky enough to not have a child like this. But it would be nice to respect the experience of other people tbh.

And if you have a child like this, then the ‘gift’ of two nights in a hotel isn’t a gift.

PrimalLass · 05/01/2018 13:21

Yeah, big deal about it being two nights! What's the difference?

Just because so may people have said 'it's only one night'. If you have children who don't sleep well, then it is a big deal. If you don't, then lucky you.

OuchLegoHurts · 05/01/2018 14:45

My twins didn't sleep. For 4 years. But that's no reason for me to say that hotels and restaurants are not for children! Of course they are.

Sirzy · 05/01/2018 14:48

And given the op has said she has never stayed with them in a hotel before then she can’t possibly know how it will be.

I have a non sleeping 8 year old but hotel stays always go pretty well for us.

kaytee87 · 05/01/2018 14:50

My 17mo doesn't sleep well and gets over excited about being away and wants to get in the bed with me. We just get on with it otherwise we'd never go anywhere and that would be pretty crap.
At home my ds has quite a strict routine but if you never challenge or change it then you don't know what they're capable of and you'll find your life pretty restricted and stressful.

mygorgeousmilo · 05/01/2018 14:56

You sound fun OP Hmm

paxillin · 05/01/2018 14:56

Doesn't family room usually mean a separate bedroom anyway? Surely it isn't a 7-bed-room? How outlandish are the dietary requirements of a 3 year old and a 5 year old that a restaurant dinner is so unthinkable? I'd imagine they just eat normal food at that age?

HopefulForToday · 05/01/2018 14:56

I don't personally get the angst op.

We have dc aged 9, 7 and 7 months. We've been away more times than I can count in family rooms, right from when the older dc were babies. So far we've been away for just the one night in a family room with all 3.

It's fine. Dc tend to be a bit later to bed just because of the novelty. They go to sleep in their singles with the lights low and dh and I sit/lie on the double bed and do what we would at home...watch TV, talk, play cards, have a cuppa and some snacks, ignore each other for a while and browse the internet on our phones, read. Obviously you need to keep the noise down but it's just a normal night in to us.

ineedwine99 · 05/01/2018 14:57

While on holiday we'd share a room with out daughter, we'd turn the lights off while she dropped off but once asleep turned the lamps on. She was 10m old, hoping that's still an option for our next holiday!

Take a bottle of wine or something and tablets for videos once the kids are asleep or a book :-)

6:30 meal sounds fine, hopefully might get them full and sleepy

AuntLydia · 05/01/2018 15:05

Hotels and restaurants aren't unsuitable places in general for children but this plan may not work for all kids. Could you just go for one night? That way if it's hellish getting them to sleep you can go home?

I am also laughing at those incredibly privileged posters who assume that we're all swanning off to hotels with our babies and children from the moment they're born. Mine were also 3 and 5 before we could afford this coincidentally. If it helps op, they behaved beautifully and we all enjoyed ourselves.

GeekyWombat · 05/01/2018 15:09

We take DC (3 and 1) to stay in hotels a few times a year to visit friends / relatives. We've found if the hotel has a swimming pool / early breakfast options / places to mooch about it's doable (with headphones / tablets / Kindle for grownups once the kids are asleep).

There's definitely novelty for them of the mystic excitement of the hotel room. We usually take snacks for a hotel room picnic on the floor to kill some time if necessary (especially if dinner is coming later than usual!).

ExConstance · 05/01/2018 15:19

Where is the OP?

blueskyinmarch · 05/01/2018 15:22

I think, having had her arse handed to her by MN, OP has toodled round to her in-laws to say how much she is looking forward to FIL's forthcoming birthday bash. Grin

Cath2907 · 05/01/2018 15:29

My DD loves a sleeping in hotel. Dinner at 6:30 would have been too late for her until recently (she is 7 now and can stay up late if needed). We used to take a kindle, stuff her in bed at normal time and turn off the lights and sit in bed and read. These days she copes far better with a late night so we all sit in the bed and play games / draw or watch TV.

However 2 adults and 2 small kids in a room is not always easy and if you don't want to go... don't go!

waffilyversati1e · 05/01/2018 15:34

Perhaps less about the suitability of hotels and restaurants for children and more about a lack of communication and the IL's generally making plans on your behalf without checking whether it will fit with your kids.

I get it. Its annoying. If you wanted to go then you would just take a deep breath and get on with it I guess. It is after all 1/2 days and if it was my children I think they would love the adventure.

Oblomov18 · 05/01/2018 15:34

What? Why are you making this so difficult? Go and eat at 6.30pm. 5 and 3? Perfectly reasonable.
Sell it to them. Make it exciting, say we're going to go and stay in a hotel and you're being one bed me and daddy in another ......and make it sound exciting to them.
I used to do this to my 2 ds's - it's a treat!! On the rare occasion it happened. I think your mindset is the problem.

EvilDoctorHogmanayDuck · 05/01/2018 15:37

Having said that, DS2 won't fall asleep in a room with other people. At home, DD can't go to bed until he's asleep. He'll just talk to her for hours.

DivisionBelle · 05/01/2018 15:37

It is their birthday celebration.

You put your Family Facing Smiley Face on, and go and enjoy yourself.

Deal with the irritations with a shrug and good humour.

irregularegular · 05/01/2018 15:41

Really? I think this is pretty normal to do with a 3 and 5 yr old. I find it very unusual that you have not taken them to a 6.30 dinner or stayed in a hotel before. Have you not been to a wedding or other family/friends celebration with them yet?

I think if it is a milestone birthday for your FIL, they are generally decent people and want you all there, then yes you should just suck it up. You may even enjoy it.

ladystarkers · 05/01/2018 15:46

Are they holding a gun to your head? Dont go if you dont want to.

Wtf is wrong with a restaurant meal?Hmm

ladystarkers · 05/01/2018 15:47

Agree with late night for dcs, its one night? Do you go on holiday?

HopefulForToday · 05/01/2018 15:57

I am also laughing at those incredibly privileged posters who assume that we're all swanning off to hotels with our babies and children from the moment they're born

I don't think most people on this thread are talking about swanning off to 5* hotels or anything that costs a great deal...I can't imagine anyone would cram into a family room with 2 or 3 kids by pure choice Grin

The vast majority of nights away that we have cost £30 or under in PI or similar. We're booked into a Travellodge next for a night in mid Feb which has cost us £23 for all 5 of us (January sale).

donquixotedelamancha · 05/01/2018 16:01

My two are slightly younger than yours. We tried a meal at a restaurant for the first time in a long while last night- just the 4 of us; very early so it was empty.

It. Did. Not. Go. Well.

My nephew, on the other hand, would be no trouble at something like this, so it really does depend on the child.

PrimalLass · 05/01/2018 16:02

I find it very unusual that you have not taken them to a 6.30 dinner or stayed in a hotel before.

Dinner, yes. But why is it so 'very unusual' that people might not have stayed in a hotel with their kids? We had done it once with both kids at that age for a family party. It was a total sleeping (and party) disaster. The only time before that was with DS at 2. I was pg with Dd. He woke up at 5.30, in an old hotel with creaky floors. Pitch black outside and in the middle of nowhere. I was in absolutely no rush to do it again.

We did go away to holiday homes, but I preferred to stay home and have people visit us than share a room with my children. We still only go away if there are enough bedrooms.

It's just not my thing. That doesn't make me ungrateful or strange.

Swipe left for the next trending thread