In asking what to feed my overweight child? :(

[emelsie]

My DD is 9 and today when she was was in her swimming costume I noticed just how much weight she really has put on, I have been aware but kind of stuck my head in the sand and today was a big slap round the face , I need to deal with it for her own health and well-being. I am pretty health conscious when it comes to myself which makes me feel all the more guilty but i find it hard to translate what I eat and do for exercise for a child.
Honestly I am quite disgusted with myself for letting it happen , but all I can do it be proactive in a solution.

She does a few out of school clubs that involve exercise/activity, what could I add to this ?
Any one give me an idea of what is a good balanced diet they feed their child ? Does this include snacks ? Also what kind of portion sizes?

I have such an interest in nutrition and health but when it comes to DD I just lose sense of what to do :(
TIA xx

Less sugar - including fruit or juice. Less carbs especially flour/grains e.g. pasta bulk the sauce up with veg, serve less pasta. Same with curry and rice, shepherd's pie etc.

What does a normal day of food look like for her?

Why don't you feed her the same food you eat?

What do you currently feed her? You say you are health conscious about yourself so do you feed her diffrently to you? What you eat in a day, I bet you can easily feed the same to a child.

Snacks are ok but I’d stick to 1 day and only if she asks, no need to automatically give them as some people seem too. If she will eat them veg sticks are a good snack.

Breakfast eggs ( omelette with addded veggies, egg muffins, scrambled eggs) or porridge are good and filling.

Lunch does she have school dinners or packed lunch?

Dinner honestly anything is ok as long as long as you keep an eye on the portion size and better to cook yourself if you can as with pre made sauces etc you have no control over the sugar. Most things you can bulk out with veggies

If she already does after school clubs for exercise, that is good. However at the weekends could you go for a bike ride, swimming, a walk.

Breakfast- in the habit of having 2 small croissants with butter or she has a fried egg in English muffin.

Apple for break at school

Lunch- jam or turkey sandwich, crisps , 2 chicken satay sticks , raisin or blueberries, and a treat , lemon cake bar or similar

After school she will normally have something sweet if I’m honest or toast.

Dinner - sometimes we will have the same , chicken Kiev , rice and broccoli or sometimes I will have a salad something with kale or a hummus and salad wrap , her and OH will not eat this in fact he rarely eats anything healthy but he works nights so different eating schedule , so they instead will have something else I made , macaroni cheese, shepherds pie etc.

Drinks - mainly water but juice has started sneaking in more than I would like.
Also I do give in to sweet snacks when we are out too often and she does like a costa , how much should I limit sweets/chocolate?

I know I need to cut her portions size down for a start as they are pretty much the same as mine but how much should I cut them down?

Also should I go down the route of eat the salad/wrap I’m having or go hungry ?
Thanks for all the input!

Maybe you could start by making one change and then when that is established move on to another? Rather than completely overhaul her diet all at once?

Try and do healthy versions of established stuff - like a poached egg rather than fried.

But yes, I think you need to change quite a bit there sorry op.

Atm it sounds like your daughter is eating a lot of carbs (and sweets) and not enough protein. Juice is pure sugar with no health benefits at all (ignore the 'part of your 5 a day!' bollocks on the box). Try and cut back on the croissants, muffins, crisps, and treats.

Snacks could be veggies (e.g. carrots and hummus), a boiled egg, nuts and seeds, and a bit of a fruit.

My mum often used to tell me how around that age I started asking for lots of food/wanting to eat all the time and she felt awful denying me but knew if she gave in every time I asked I'd put on weight which would be very hard to shake off later in life. I don't remember at all but am grateful to her for her foresight.

I think one English muffin is ok for breakfast with a fried egg in it; just one of each and there's no need for butter really.

Your daughter's diet seems a bit sweet-heavy and I've always found with mine that sweet stuff makes them want to eat it more so we try not to eat that but without making a 'thing' of it.

As PP said, if you make dishes yourself you can control what is in it - particularly sugar - and sweeteners, they're not good either.

What does your daughter like to eat? Is she quite adventurous? Would you be able to get her dad on board with diet changes as a family do you think?

Portion sizes
Sugar reduction

use the NHS calculator to work out her TDEE and see how few calories she actually needs.

Weight management is 90% food, 10% exercise

She sounds like a good eater who will eat healthy stuff. It might just be that she is eating too much. My DC take a sandwich and some fruit for lunch, grapes, an apple, banana or an orange. Your DD's lunch is quite big in comparison. I would make it a bit smaller. Leave the chicken out maybe. For breakfast I would swap the croissants and eggs for milky porridge with honey or berries or muesli. Dinner seems okay. I think a healthier breakfast and smaller lunch would give you results without making it seem like you were restricting her diet.

I think you could use her current diet as a basis and substitute/change something like this:

Breakfast -
2 croissants with butter Wholemeal toast with butter
or
English muffin and friend egg Bagel and poached egg

Lunch -
jam or turkey sandwich Turkey or chicken in wholemeal wrap
crisps or chicken satay sticks - not both
raisins or blueberries
lemon cake bar not really needed. Could add some veg sticks if more bulk is needed.

Dinner -
I think your dinners sound fine (macaroni cheese isn't just carbs and fat, it's a meal with carbs and fat in - absolutely fine for a child.
I'd just make sure that:
a) her portion is about half the size of yours
b) a good portion of the plate is vegetables.

Snacks -
Apple is fine
Replace the sweet/toasty snack with a piece of fruit or some vegetables

She has too many treat things imo, and not enough exercise.
Croissants are basically cake, so her breakfast needs changing.
For comparison my 9yo dd has:
Porridge and fruit for breakfast
Fruit for snack
School lunch
Fruit for after school snack
Similar dinner to your dd
1 hour after school exercise every day.
Portion sizes - she has a side plate of food for her dinner.

From what you’ve said

1 croissant as a treat and pair it with some plain yoghurt, fruit and honey or a poached or boiled egg or even scrambled if you use a non sick pan you don’t need much butter if any

Less jam and more turkey. Would she eat tuna? Crisps once a week not everyday, yoghurt instead of cake some days? Cubes of cheese, cherry tomatoes

Swop Kiev for chicken breast grilled with pesto or a small amount of garlic butter, less carbs and more veg. Fish pie instead of shepherds sometime, jacket spud with beans,

DD has something like mac cheese when she had finished 3 hours of gymnastics and is starving, other days when she has done little exercise she has things like soup etc.

What's wrong with English muffins? I didn't think they were that bad, they're just like a bread bap, aren't they? Bagels are about the same calories.

I think I remember reading or watching a programme about how, since children are growing, small changes in diet and an increase in exercise (though sounds like your DD is already active) will work well because rather than the child losing weight, you’re just aiming to keep it steady while they grow a few cm. I would try not to do drastic changes everywhere but rather make small but significant shifts (get rid of croissants for breakfast except on special occasion, no crisps or cake in lunch box, move to less sweet stuff overall (don’t give jam sandwich, move sweet snacks to something like fruit and cheese/rice cakes) etc).

She is having a lot of fat, sugar and carbs in her lunch. A ham sandwich is sugar & carbs. Crisps are fat & carbs. Cake is sugar and carbs. Satay sticks are potentially high in fat/ sugar if covered in satay sauce. If she’s having crisps I don’t think she needs a treat as well.

In terms of breakfast butter contains a lot of fat and calories are croissants are full of calories. Crumpets are a lot less calorific and maybe swap to a vegetable spread over butter. Fried egg and an English muffin sounds okay but could you swap to a boiled egg to get rid of the oil?

Cut out the juice completely or limit to one small glass a day (I dilute juice with water).

I would look at the pre-packaged foods she is having each day and add up the calories. It’s harder to work out calories for home made food but even if you just work out the calories for part of her diet it may give you an indication on how much she’s being iverfed. Achild should have around 1500 calories a day.

I think a healthy breakfast would be very beneficial to start the day off with. Croissants could be as a treat/weekend breakfast?

Overall it just seems like she has a lot for a child. Why so much/so many things at lunch? A sandwhich, some fruit & a snack of crisps/bar is all an average adult would eat if we're talking portion sizes.

As I’m being honest I forgot to add she always has dessert after dinner too, it’s not looking great now it’s written down is it :(

Now I have opened my eyes to the problem it’s becoming more apparent what needs fixing , as we walked in from swimming she immediately asked for a hot chocolate , and as I love to stick the kettle on as soon as I get home I know I would have just done it without thinking. I told her no that dinner will be ready in less than an hour, normally she would have wanted that and then dessert later as well.

Thanks for all the advice , setting out a plan now (not telling her ) , and will have a good chat with OH , she is quite an adventurous eater really and when we stay with family overseas she will snack on carrots from the garden , sugar snap peas and eat grilled fish and lentil curry all willingly ,she just knows it her only option there I suppose.

Will definitely take on board all the advice , it helps to have other people’s perspective.

Thanks xx

Her breakfast is the worst bit - just awful. I would change this and cut the after school treat and she’ll be fine.

Instead offer porridge and toast (low cal ham or no jam) or
Weetabix or shreddies

and yes stick to one treat a day - either a hot chocolate, or crisps after school or desert.
All other times only allow fruit or a low sugar yogurt

Well done making changes at her age it’s not too late to fix it and get her sorted and set up for a healthy life - it’s not easy to change

What does she have when you say ‘She likes a Costa’? Their biscuits etc are huge.

Have you tried ‘Just Dance’ on PlayStation, or if you haven’t got one you can use YouTube? Really high energy dancing and you could do it with her for 20 minutes or so each day.

Maybe just give less at lunch? And avoid after school sweet snack. Don't make a big deal or change everything all at once. I was trying to lose some weight and found that swapping muesli for yoghurt at breakfast and limiting to one sweet thing per day was all I needed to do.