In asking what to feed my overweight child? :(

[emelsie]

My DD is 9 and today when she was was in her swimming costume I noticed just how much weight she really has put on, I have been aware but kind of stuck my head in the sand and today was a big slap round the face , I need to deal with it for her own health and well-being. I am pretty health conscious when it comes to myself which makes me feel all the more guilty but i find it hard to translate what I eat and do for exercise for a child.
Honestly I am quite disgusted with myself for letting it happen , but all I can do it be proactive in a solution.

She does a few out of school clubs that involve exercise/activity, what could I add to this ?
Any one give me an idea of what is a good balanced diet they feed their child ? Does this include snacks ? Also what kind of portion sizes?

I have such an interest in nutrition and health but when it comes to DD I just lose sense of what to do :(
TIA xx

We all do it differently OP, we try to eat natural stuff in this house, so butter - but not large quantities and not with everything if it doesn't actually 'add' anything.

Do you have a garden? Do you think she would be interested in growing vegetables and fruit that she likes? I developed a lifelong love of French Beans from my gardening at my mum's.

It sounds like you have a plan and the good thing is that you can change it as you need to. If you can hold your daughter's weight stable as a minimum, she would grow into it but, if you can get a few pounds off and change her eating habits, that would be an excellent advantage for her adult life.

I love giving my dc a good breakfast. Sad though it may be it's one of the reasons I gave up full time work so that I can get a decent breakfast in to them. I think after a good breakfast, even if everything else after that goes tits up, they've still had a good breakfast.

Can you ask for a referral to a dietitian. Just because you said youre health conscious but the diet youve listed is poor, so maybe you need a little more guidance?

We all do it differently OP, we try to eat natural stuff in this house, so butter - but not large quantities and not with everything if it doesn't actually 'add' anything.

Do you have a garden? Do you think she would be interested in growing vegetables and fruit that she likes? I developed a lifelong love of French Beans from my gardening at my mum's.

It sounds like you have a plan and the good thing is that you can change it as you need to. If you can hold your daughter's weight stable as a minimum, she would grow into it but, if you can get a few pounds off and change her eating habits, that would be an excellent advantage for her adult life.

double post, sorry.

Sounds like she's eating a lot of simple carbs and sugar which is what is going to cause weight gain. Likewise, she's only 9 years of age-so why is she eating adult meal portions?

Jam sandwich, crisps and lemon cake- essentially a load of sugar for lunch which is going to cause weight gain, not to mention affect concentration at school and really worsen her risk of dental decay.

Alongside adjusting her diet drastically, I think you also need to make sure she has a dental appointment because such a high-sugar diet is going to be really bad for her teeth.

It sounds like you're giving her an awful lot of bread to try and keep her full- nuts would be much better as a snack because they're not just simple carbs, and will keep her full without causing a sugar crash like white bread will.

I think you're doing a great job as a parent because you're trying to make positive changes for your daughter's sake.
How about scrambled egg in a wholemeal muffin or wrap for breakfast? Homemade breakfast burritos are great if you avoid putting too much cheese in.
Chopped veggies and fruit in her lunch box along with a chicken/turkey wrap, but no 'treats'.
Make sure dinner always has fresh or frozen veg with it, and maybe couscous rather than pasta, smaller portions might help too. Maybe plain yoghurt with fruit after a meal once or twice a week if she'd like dessert.

Without sounding judgemental your daughter eats a lot more than my children who are similar ages... what she eats isn’t bad in itself but there is far too much of it.... smaller portions, healthier snacks and the odd not daily treat is what I would do!
Reward her with activities that dont involve food.... kudos for you for recognising the issue before it becomes a problem however as her weight may become a much bigger issue in a few years! Good luck!

We don't have 'dessert' in this house, not ever. That's not to say that we don't eat sweet stuff, we do, but it's not at mealtimes and it's not every day. I think part of the issue is that 'dessert' too easily become 'part of dinner' and that means that it's expected every day - or sorely missed when it isn't.

Easy for me to say as we didn't have dessert at home growing up - but had cake, ice creams, sweets, etc. - just irregularly and maybe once or twice a week. I think that was more to do with dental health than anything else but it makes sense to me to follow on with that.

I would tell her that you're going to start eating more healthily as a family as I wouldn't want to give her any hang ups about something that you are going to resolve. Make sure you fill the fruit bowl and only snack on fruit between meals. Make this a rule for everyone in the house. It's good for you and you are likely to only snack when you actually need to rather than just out of boredom or because you like the look of the treats you have in. Stop having treats in the house as a rule and just buy them occasionally. Make healthier meals and limit portion size.
After school activities are good but even better is making exercise part of your routine. Walk when you can instead of driving. Go out and cycle as a family or for walks etc.
And well done for recognising there's an issue op. So many parents write off serious weight problems that their children have as 'puppy fat' or similar wen the reality is is that most overweight kids become even more overweight adults.

Your daughter doesn't seem to be eating any vegetables.

I have an 8 year old, she had a school lunch today (roast dinner), no after school snack and then peanut butter on toast, an apple, raisins, mini pepperami, crisps and a cake. She's normal weight. So it doesn't sound very different to your 9 year old except for no juice and no after school snack. I think maybe just cut out the sugary drinks and one of the sugary snacks and leave the rest as is.

You've seen the issue, and are addressing it. Don't beat yourself up over it, and just make small changes that you can stick to. She's growing, and needs good food with the odd treat. Sounds like you're on the right path now, well done.

As others have said, try not to do anything too drastic or you'll upset her. Maybe say it's part of a New Year health kick? Also bear in mind that many pre-pubescent children put on weight. I wouldn't give a jam sandwich or cake for school lunch.

My 9yo dd is slim and eats a lot less than that. She does have treats every day but within reason.

A typical school day for my dd is

Breakfast - two weetabix and a banana

Lunch - jam/ham/cheese sandwich, small pot of fruit or carrot sticks, penguin or similar and a packet of crisps. She tends to eat the penguin on the way home from school as she's full at lunch.

After school - fruit/carrot sticks

Dinner - whatever we have but roughly half the portion size, things like shepherds pue/curry/spaghetti/stew/pizza/sausage and chips

We don't have pudding and sometimes she'll have some toast before bed if she's hungry.

Some days she eats extra fruit/veg/toast and other days she'll leave half her breakfast or dinner.

Cutting down the portion sizes would be my first action, as would ditching the croissants and satay sticks.

Thank you for all the support it really helps, was getting quite upset earlier at how I could be stupid enough to consider myself quite healthy and let my DD get to an unhealthy weight.

She has had her dinner, a much smaller portion and seems completely satisfied, her packed lunch is made; turkey sandwich , crisps and some blueberries and have also said she can help me make some tasty porridge for breakfast tomorrow, trying to make it fun and don’t want her to catch on to anything that might make her worry.

Will definitely start walking more too, we live right opposite a park so have no excuse !

Thanks again!

You can put the blueberries on the porridge too

Yes getting her involved in cooking porridge etc is a great idea, They need to learn how to cook little bits and pieces anyway as a life skill and most dc are more keen to eat what they cook.

I don’t think what she eats in a day is terrible, yes the breakfast needs changing and cut the lunch a little but I think that along with some extra exercise at weekends etc and I reckon you will see an improvement quite quickly.

Don't feel bad op. 1/5 of children in this country are overweight or obese and that percentage is constantly rising. Your dd won't be one of them for much longer because you're addressing it.

great ideas, sounds like you are taking it all on board and making change OP. Don't be too hard on yourself you're being a great mum!

Eggs are great to fill her up. Just not fried every day. So poached or boiled on whole meal toast. I thinks bagels are as bad as muffins..
No jam sandwiches. Stick to turkey, chicken in a wrap? Lots of fruit/veg. Would she eat breadsticks? Cheese. Just healthy, filling food.

She definitely doesn't need all the treats. Dessert could be Greek yoghurt and fruit?

Check portion size too. Just a few tweaks and more exercise will be enough. You're doing great making the changes now.

Does she like eggs - omelettes etc are great and she can help make them. Good for you for tackling this. Just don't make it a 'thing' as girls who decide to manage their own weight when a little older than your daughter can cause themselves a lot of trouble.

OP you are brave for admitting your DD has put on too much weight. Many people just let it slide until it’s completely unmanageable. I have a DD who is almost 9, and she is not overweight but I’ve struggled all my life and I don’t want her to have the same problems. So I am very mindful of what she eats and particularly now in January where she ate a lot more rubbish over Christmas than normal.

What we do is have snacks rules which are, one snack at school which has to be fruit or vegetables (School rules!) one snack only after school (given the chance she would eat loads of snacks after school!) and this is healthy too, plain breadsticks, mini oat cakes, fruit or crackers.

Dinner which is almost always a protein, carb and loads and loads of veg. (Yesterday was salmon fillet, rice, homemade ratatouille which included onion, peppers, courgette and passata, plus extra veg of broccoli and peas). After dinner unless she is too full, she has a piece of fresh fruit. AFTER that she is allowed one small thing from her treat box if there’s anything in it (eg she got choc coins at Christmas so there’s a few left, if she gets stuff in party bags it goes in there etc but I don’t BUY ‘treats’ for the house, which means if there’s nothing there she doesn’t have it)

Breakfast is almost always an egg (she loves them!) which I fry in a non stick pan so don’t use any oil or butter or if I do need to then I use fry light. She will have that with one slice of wholmeal toast or a bagel thin which are lower cal than bagels and she sometimes doesn’t finish the bagel. Weekends she is allowed a couple of mini pain au chocolats.

She has school lunch which is very healthy (cooked on site and lots of veg etc) and rarely takes dessert as she doesn’t like the School ones.

Then as she goes to bed quite late, she is allowed ONE snack only before bed which again is healthy, usually Carrots and hummus or something.

Weekends are more relaxed. She will have an ice cream sometimes and a couple more snacks.

Also she does a LOT of sport/activity. Usually around 19 hours a week (this is not an exaggeration!!) and on the nights where she is doing a long training session she is allowed a small treat like a small pack of crisps or something.

Drinks are always water, no juice or fizzy drinks allowed (luckily she doesn’t like them anyway!) and sometimes milk with dinner.

You sound like you have your DD’s best interests at heart. Good luck. Xx

My dd is 9 and a healthy weight.
Her day is as follows

Breakfast - small bowl cereal or half a bagel

School Snack - fruit

Lunch - school dinner or if having a packed lunch then a sandwich wrap with fruit and cucumber sticks. A muesli bar for dessert.

After school Snack - fruit or toast.

Dinner. Home cooked meal. Always make sure at least a third of her plate is veg or salad.
Fruit, a cake or plain yoghurt for pud.

Milk before bed.

She is fairly active and I restrict screen time so she has to find other things to do.

I also don’t allow her to help herself to biscuits and treats whenever she likes, instead she is allowed to help herself to the fruit bowl whenever she likes.

And juice is only at weekends. And a fizzy drink is a very rare treat