In asking what to feed my overweight child? :(

[emelsie]

My DD is 9 and today when she was was in her swimming costume I noticed just how much weight she really has put on, I have been aware but kind of stuck my head in the sand and today was a big slap round the face , I need to deal with it for her own health and well-being. I am pretty health conscious when it comes to myself which makes me feel all the more guilty but i find it hard to translate what I eat and do for exercise for a child.
Honestly I am quite disgusted with myself for letting it happen , but all I can do it be proactive in a solution.

She does a few out of school clubs that involve exercise/activity, what could I add to this ?
Any one give me an idea of what is a good balanced diet they feed their child ? Does this include snacks ? Also what kind of portion sizes?

I have such an interest in nutrition and health but when it comes to DD I just lose sense of what to do :(
TIA xx

Don't beat yourself up, OP. You've spotted it now and you're going to take steps to address it. It sounds to me as if your other half might be more of an issue if he won't set a good example; perhaps he could see this as an opportunity to change too?

Balance is everything IMO. My DM was super healthy and we were never allowed crisps, chocolate etc. Result being, I got to university and gained a tonne when I could buy what I want! It should be normal to have nice things sometimes but also to work them off. Don't use them as treats as then there's a temptation to think, "ooh, I deserve a treat!"

Here's the sort of thing we used to get:

Scrambled eggs or omelette or no added sugar cereal for breakfast

No morning snack

Whole grain bread sandwiches with no added sugar peanut butter or cheese or ham.

Piece of fruit

Sometimes a packet of low fat crisps or rice cakes

After school snack - 1 digestive biscuit or piece of fruit

Chicken breast or fish fillet, baked or in breadcrumbs, with veg and a jacket potato or oven chips; spaghetti bolognese; chops and veg; a roast at weekends.

If you can do a family walk or bike ride too, she might not even notice she's exercising

I agree with changing her fatty dietary components to less fatty versions. However do not put her on any faddy diet such as low carb or low fat. They're not recommended for children. Also you aren't actually trying to make her lose weight unless she's vastly fat, what you're aiming for us to keep her weight steady as she'll grow into it

OP it’s great you’ve recognised and want to solve this for your DD.

My DD is 9 and a normal weight (though lots of people seem to think she’s very slim, which to me shows how we’ve become so used to overweight kids as the norm!)

A typical day is-

Weetabix or porridge for breakfast.

Takes a piece of fruit for snack but rarely eats it.

Lunch is one sandwich thin with cheese, carrot and cucumber sticks with hummus, grapes and a either a rice cracker or a few crisps in a pot. If I sent the whole bag of crisps she’d eat nothing else.

Tea is something like veggie sausage with roast potatoes and veg, tomato/pesto pasta, or poached eggs and beans.

If she’s hungry again before bedtime a yoghurt or banana. Is allowed a snack from the treat jar on a weekend.

The 'rules here'.

Sweets are only non-school nights.

No juice from mummy DH is another matter.

No sweet things in lunches (except fruit).

Food isn't a reward.

Protein and vegetables are non-negotiable, even if it's just a bite.

Food is not a battleground. Breezy messages.

Emphasize the 'good'. DD likes a fruit smoothie as a snack at the mall. I know she likes the strawberry and I like here to have the kale. So I say, "do you want pink one or the green muscles one". About half the time she picks kale and says, "look at my muscles". I have to act shocked Ditto water, vegetables, protein. All positive messages about her body feeling well and working well.

Oh and masses of non-activity exercise. We pretend that clubs and sports are when exercise happens. Nope. It's walking further and running around the park and playing in the house and tag and climbing. Lots of outside time.

small handful of raw veg before every meal: carrot sticks, bell pepper, cucumber, kohlrabi...
with a little yoghurt or hummus if she prefers that.

portion size. look up what a portion size should be like. weigh it.

exercise. at least 1 hour a day. preferably outside.

So my 9 year old is my most sedentary child and is a healthy weight:

Breakfast - bowl of chocolate weetabix with semi skimmed milk
Lunch - ham sandwich on wholemeal bread with cucumber and apple on the side and sometimes a small frube tube - def no crisps/biscuits/cake
Afterschool he may have a hobnob/pack of mini cookies
Dinner salmon/chicken Breast with rice/broccoli/carrot or spaghetti Bol with lots of celery/carrot. No routine pudding for any kids in our house any day of the week but he helps himself to clementines/grapes/apple about half the week after dinner.
He often has a slice of toast with butter before bed.
Treats - prob a hot choc once a week and a small choc bar or pack of Haribo once per week
No juice/squash in the house. He would have an apple juice if we ate out (once every couple of weeks)
12 year old eats loads more but is very very active.

I haven’t read all the other posts OP so someone might have suggested this. How about trying the “eat a rainbow” game. So make it fun to eat as many differently coloured veg every day. (Veg rather than fruit). Make it fun, have a dance if you manage to find a purple carrot, that sort of thing. Really you should be aiming for mostly veg as her diet. All snacks could be veg sticks, carbs could be from veg and potatoes. These is a really interesting study just published that with an NHS website (still in its BETA phase I think but due for release this year) on which you can assess your child’s weight (something horrendous like 90% of parents of overweight children believe them to be healthy weight and requiring no action). I’ve attached a good portion control guide to have a look at and will see if I can find the PHE child weight picture to post too.

Ditch the croissants, butter, fried egg, muffins. Try porridge with fruit. I put frozen strawberries and blueberries in the porridge whilst it’s cooking for my DC.

Ditch the crisps and the juice, give her water instead.

If she needs a snack because she has after-school sport, then I would give her a homemade sandwich with Mamite and some homemade popcorn (no sugar). Again, this is what my two have and they are very active.

Macaroni cheese isn’t great, to be honest. All that fat. Try making your own pasta sauce.

And stay away from Costa!

Just to add that you’ll find that small changes have a big effect.

With my DD, I stopped buying crisps/cakes etc and kept a supply of sugar free jelly and fruit in. Now after school she actually asks for them as snacks and is less bothered when we actually do have those things in the house.

Portion wise I find sandwich thins or crustless bread gives a good portion for kids - DD has this with a 2-3 pieces of fruit/veg and usually a block of cheese (if no dairy on her sandwich) and this lasts her for her morning snack plus lunch. She isn’t a big morning eater so she has a smoothie for breakfast. If she won’t eat Wholemeal then go for 50/50 bread. Swap white pasta and rice for brown (kids don’t notice the difference).

I aim for a third veg, a third carby stuff and a third protein, and her diet has been much healthier since. No idea if that’s right but the food she ends up eating looks colourful and well balanced.

Here we go. This picture is from a huge study involving some really in-depth analysis. Be interesting to know where everyone thought “overweight” was on this scale.

My 11 year old typical diet (9 yr old is ridiculously fussy )
Breakfast :- bagel (probably won't finish it) and glass of milk
No snack
Lunch - canteen usually jacket potato with beans and cheese or a panini
After school -something like a small apple pie (Aldi version of mr Kipling) or bag of crisps
Tea- something like toad in the hole or Fish fingers with rice and veg
Occasional pudding
Generally drinks water, milk , squash maybe a glass of juice every other day (used to have loads but was terrible for her teeth)
I'm astounded by how much some of her friends eat and how they are used to snacks in the evening (after tea) and expect seconds and eat everything - It is very rare in my house to have a plate empty tbh the amount of food wasted does my head in and because of that I don't give puddings often as would make them fussier (would leave even more as know they've got a pudding ) but it does demonstrate how little they need to get by on ( my kids are thin to look at but All well within healthy BMi range £
They have sweets once or twice a week

Oh and sorry one last thing, 60 minutes of exercise that gets you out of breath every day, lots of activities don’t actually get kids out of breath.

I’d say D was overweight on that chart (from the side view). No idea if that’s right though.

I’d say E

I have a super skinny 9 year old, his food today was-

3 mini pancakes and orange juice
Wholemeal wrap with cheese and ham, carrot sticks, pepper sticks, wotsits and a kit Kat. Squash.
3 fishfingers, new potatoes, sweetcorn and squash.
Petit filous
Half a cup of milk
Some Xmas choc.

Dd is a year younger and had the same, but salmon instead of fish fingers.

Three meals and two snacks. 'Me sized' portions, a balance of carbohydrate, protein veg and dairy. Don't make her hungry and don't push adult diety stuff. Don't say food is either healthy or unhealthy. Have few takeaways and cafe snacks - don't make these the norm. Teach her to stop when full, choose appropriate amounts and delay gratification (these are all a lifetimes work for those of us who are highly gratified by food).But highly achievable in childhood with good parenting. And while you are at it make it a priority to look at her with positive acceptance whatever variations you might observe. We are all of us unique and positive body image grows from mums and dads being positive about us and positive and confident in their own appearance. And growing girls get judged overly on their appearance which is unfair. Remember, girls gain body fat in puberty as part of reproductive development, while boys gain muscle. Make sure she accepts this and is prepared for body changes.

I would say D is just overweight

A underweight BCD healthy EF overweight G obese. Forgot to say top pic is age 4-5 and bottom 10-11.

D on the charts

Oh I thought they were adult men. Must need glasses!

C is top end of healthy
D is overweight

C looks overweight to me
But i cant zoom

I don't think any of the figures look like the 'overweight' children I see when I go to the shops.

No snacks. My children aren't overweight but I've noticed since I've stopped biting/offering snacks other than fruit or veg the. They eat much better st meals and don't complain about being hungry all the time.

I actually did it for myself as I noticed i was grazing all day or not eating for so long that when I remembered I was starving so I just ate whatever shit I could get my hands on!