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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Concerned about something 3 year old said

102 replies

missladybird · 04/01/2018 16:34

Today dd started a new nursery. Apparently it all went well and she seemed happy when I picked her up etc.

About an hour ago she said she needed the toilet and then said "there's a plug in my bum" - I asked where she heard that from and she said "the naughty lady". I asked where the naughty lady is and she just pointed in a random direction.

I left it for a bit and then asked her about it again. I asked where the plug is and she opened her labia and pointed inside.

I'm seriously freaking out about this. What do I do?

OP posts:
ElphabaTheGreen · 04/01/2018 21:00

Yes, Corbyns, so if a theme emerges after three or four unsolicited conversations in a short space of time, you investigate then. You don't call bloody 111 after one crazy comment.

FireCracker2 · 04/01/2018 21:02

You don't even have any reason for suspecting this happened at nursery as far as I can see.Has she got older siblings, cousins, friends that might have been telling her about tampons. Has she seen a leaflet from a box of tampons?

Original poster
missladybird · 04/01/2018 21:04

Corbyn I'm sorry but you're off your rocker.

How on earth can you compare one random statement from my 3 year old with the Bulger case Hmm

OP posts:
poopsqueak · 04/01/2018 21:06

My dd once told me she had a 'cog in her bum' then a 'cork' then said she couldn't have a poo. Just meant she was constipated.

kaytee87 · 04/01/2018 21:08

Might she have a UTI or sore bum? 'Needs a wee but no wees left'? Soreness might be causing her to ramble confusedly about her bum.

This sounds like quite a likely reason. Constipated or UTI probably.

Can see why you might have panicked a bit, you were probably feeling on edge anyway with it being her first day at a new place Thanks

Amanduh · 04/01/2018 21:09

My 3yo niece said her yaya 'imaginary friend' had put sticks in her bum and another time his bum was blue.. and his ears came off in a fight because a naughty lady fought him...and that he put biscuits in his bum and his poo poo was like a dog. She's obsessed with bums and poo and is always rambling nonsense about them

kaytee87 · 04/01/2018 21:09

If she's ever heard that something needs batteries to work she could easily just mean her bum isn't working properly.

Amanduh · 04/01/2018 21:11

Also agree with some Pp's re uti etc...sounds like she feels like she needs a wee and cant go

CorbynsBumFlannel · 04/01/2018 21:12

Obviously they haven’t suffered the same level of abuse as James Bulger cos he was fucking killed for Christ’s sake! I said that what the op said worries me due to details I read about the case.
And I suggested calling the NSPCC for advice rather than dismissing some potentially quite disturbing stuff a child has disclosed. A 3 year old isn’t necessarily going to come out with it in full coherent sentences and further questioning is better done by someone trained to do it.

Original poster
missladybird · 04/01/2018 21:14

I think the possibility of a uti makes a lot of sense.

OP posts:
Pud2 · 04/01/2018 21:15

What exactly would she report to social services or the police?! Total over reaction.
They would refer her straight back to the nursery to find out all the facts before being able to judge if it's a crime or a safeguarding issue.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 04/01/2018 21:17

No sorry asking for an explanation from someone who may well be the abuser is not a good idea.
At least have a look on the NSPCC website for advice.

splendide · 04/01/2018 21:20

Does she know that her labia isn’t her bum? Does she mean vagina?

My 3 year old rambles on about bums and willies constantly. And he pretends to put a sanitary towel in his pants.

Original poster
missladybird · 04/01/2018 21:22

No she doesn't know the difference yet. She calls her labia area her bum.

OP posts:
splendide · 04/01/2018 21:24

Could be a uti then, that sounds quite likely.

youarenotkiddingme · 04/01/2018 21:29

Have you checked for worms? She may have them and know something feels wrong but not be able to articulate it.

And for those thinking NSPCC is overkill. I said myself 3yo come out with all sorts of crap. What is contact them about is whether it sounds like a flag for something and what communication you should have with child or nursery in this situation.

youarenotkiddingme · 04/01/2018 21:32

Also if she calls her labia/vaginal area her bum and is mentioning plugs are you 100% sure she hasn't shoved something up there?

Kids are we'll renowned for posting things - they usually chose ears, nose of dvd player - but I suppose it's perfectly feasible!

MrsLinManuelMiranda · 04/01/2018 21:34

I think most young children especially girls call all of their private areas 'their bum'. When my DD was a toddler she accompanied me to my smear test. I left her playing with her toys while I went behind the curtain and did not think she was aware of what was happening. Just as we walked back out into the waiting room she asked me very loudly why the lady had stuck a thing up my bum. Cue a waiting room of patients trying not to laugh out loud and me ushering her out while doing an imitation of a beetroot!

PassiveAgressiveQueen · 04/01/2018 21:38

Maybe she found someone's tampons and the woman believes in telling the truth. My daughter knew about tampons at that age.

Jassmells · 04/01/2018 21:41

Maybe she needed the toilet and couldn't go and someone said "have you got a plug in it?" ?! Or she asked about the plug in the sink?? My daughter tells me all kinds of weird things and generally agrees with whatever I ask her about nursery "did you have a good day?" "Yes" "did you have lasagne for lunch?" "Yes" "did you go to the moon?" "Yes" so try not to panic but keep an eye on it and ask.

reallyorange · 04/01/2018 21:49

My 3 year old comes out with all sorts of mad stuff that kind of sounds plausible. E.g. Naughty things another boy has done that are obviously made up once he elaborates

isitme88 · 04/01/2018 21:57

When my daughter had a UTi she said her tummy hurt not bum and kept going to the loo.
Is the nursery a red herring and she's heard it else where? Does she have access to YouTube. Have electronic toys etc?
I wouldn't be concerned but I would be aware and investigate further

isitme88 · 04/01/2018 21:58

Also how big is the nursery to have only 2 workers there? That means 16 3 year olds max and no one able to take a lunch break.

MollyHuaCha · 04/01/2018 23:25

Is it possible that she didn't mean to say 'plug' at all? Maybe she was saying 'bug'.

She could be repeating a conversation she witnessed where a child at nursery was told to wash their hands. The child refused. The adult got a little cross (hence the naughty lady) and said the reason for hand washing was to wash away the bugs from the bottom area.

Bug not plug? Just an idea...

myknickersknackersknockers · 04/01/2018 23:35

I teach 3/4 yr olds. I’ve sent them to the toilet before lunch try for a wee. Once a child has said “I can’t do a wee. The plug must be in! Could it be as innocent as this??