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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Concerned about something 3 year old said

102 replies

missladybird · 04/01/2018 16:34

Today dd started a new nursery. Apparently it all went well and she seemed happy when I picked her up etc.

About an hour ago she said she needed the toilet and then said "there's a plug in my bum" - I asked where she heard that from and she said "the naughty lady". I asked where the naughty lady is and she just pointed in a random direction.

I left it for a bit and then asked her about it again. I asked where the plug is and she opened her labia and pointed inside.

I'm seriously freaking out about this. What do I do?

OP posts:

gamerchick · 04/01/2018 17:08

at the hysterical reactions!

3 yr olds come out with loads of mad stuff that don't mean what you think they do. Don't go off half cocked.

Maybe ring nspcc for some advice from sensible level headed people.

ObscuredbyFog · 04/01/2018 17:11

Don't know what I'd do OP, maybe ring my GP and ask for a callback for advice.

guns "I was simply voicing an opinion after a spate of creepy threads lately."

Yeah, right.

Trollhunting's banned on MN, if you want to report the thread to MN, do so, that's what the Report button is for. Don't post snidey trollhunting insinuations, you've done that twice already, now you know not to post any more.

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 04/01/2018 17:12

I’d probably just ring the nursery and ask them.

Badhairday1001 · 04/01/2018 17:13

Phone the NSPCC helpline, they are fantastic and will advise you.

MoonfaceAndSilky · 04/01/2018 17:13

Could you ask her why the lady is naughty? She may have just told her to not keep going to the loo, or to put a plug in it.

RavingRoo · 04/01/2018 17:15

Get her to point out the lady in question, then raise it with the school with dates and times. I bet it’s harmless - one of the other kids might have seen their mum put in a tampon and told her.

LauraMipsum · 04/01/2018 17:15

Is another child there acting out / talking about plugs up bums meaning tampons (possibly having seen their mother change one) and been told "that's a naughty thing to say" by the staff?

Would seem a more likely explanation than actually seeing a staff member change one?

Confusedbeetle · 04/01/2018 17:16

I don't think any of this is about a tampon. I agree you shouldn't question her further but book a quiet appointment to discuss with the nursery head. It might be nothing at all but you will not settle until you have some sort of explanation. Yes children do come out with crazy stuff but some of the words raise an eyebrow. Try not to put ideas in her head

bobstersmum · 04/01/2018 17:17

I really feel for you I would be beside myself in your situation, I would leave it for now with dd and go in to speak to manager tomorrow, without dd. I really hope it's nothing!!

DearMrDilkington · 04/01/2018 17:17

The most likely scenario is what Laura said. I highly doubt a staff member changed their tampon in front of your dd on her first day at the nursery.

Original poster

missladybird · 04/01/2018 17:17

Asked the nursery and she said there were only her and one other girl in today. She doesn't know what she could mean but can understand why I'm concerned.

OP posts:

Original poster

missladybird · 04/01/2018 17:17

She's never seen me changing tampons

OP posts:

Ratinthehat · 04/01/2018 17:18

Three year olds do come out with weird things my oldest used to say she had a pea in her bum and got hysterical about it. Finally worked out she ment her clitoris.

Do you think she could have looked under the cynical door when a member of staff was in there? I know my youngests class at that age had to all be told not to do it.

Knittedfairies · 04/01/2018 17:19

Would a three-year old know the word 'plug' as used in that sense? .i.e. not a hand basin or for an electrical appliance?

AnnieAnoniMouse · 04/01/2018 17:21

Kids say weird things at odd times, try not to panic. It is FAR more likely to be something daft than anything sinister.

horatioisabrick · 04/01/2018 17:22

is it possible that one child needed a suppository and complained about the "evil woman" (she might not even be a nursery worker... Could be the family doctor etc...)

thegreatbeyond · 04/01/2018 17:28

Horrible thing to think about, but if there was something sinister about one of the staff members, it would be unusual for something to happen on the first day. Not impossible, obviously, but maybe a different explanation is more likely.

allaboutthatsass · 04/01/2018 17:28

could she have been struggling to do a poo and someone joked that it was a 'plug'?

NewStartAgainReallyThisTime · 04/01/2018 17:32

There is no way she should be able to access an adult toilet, let alone see someone in it nor be able to look under a door!

Definitely follow this up and go with your gut instinct, even if it turns out to be innocent.

TheExecutionersBong · 04/01/2018 17:34

How do you feel about the nursery in general? What's their ofsted rating?

It's difficult to know what to do now nursery have told you they don't know where she could have got it from. It could be just one of those or it could be quite serious. I can see why you're concerned.

chocolateworshipper · 04/01/2018 17:35

I personally wouldn't go straight to the police or social services. It could have come from another child who HAS seen a woman changing a tampon (not necessarily in nursery)

TheExecutionersBong · 04/01/2018 17:35

Definitely follow this up and go with your gut instinct, even if it turns out to be innocent.

I second this. Trust your initial impressions of the nursery.

Thedietstartsnow · 04/01/2018 17:38

Phone NSPCC for advice

MollyHuaCha · 04/01/2018 17:39

I can see why you're worried. Good luck OP. Hope you get to the bottom of the mystery.

StormTreader · 04/01/2018 17:44

Could this be something the other girls mum told her and the other child passed it on? Maybe her and her mum were in a supermarket toilet cubicle or something and she saw it and thats how her mum explained it?

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