To change places with DP

[Anyname123]

Things have come to a head with DP not pulling his weight at home, and I'm desperate for a resolution before I have to LTB.

I plan to switch roles for a month. So I won't do any thinking or anything proactive. I will however "help" if he asks me to. But I'll tutt and roll my eyes and be a bit obtuse about it.

So if he asks me to go food shopping I'll ask for a shopping list. If he asks me to make dinner I'll ask what to cook and how to cook it. If he asks me to clean the bathroom I'll do a half arsed job and leave shit stains in the toilet. If he asks me to put clean clothes away I'll claim not to be able to put his away as I won't know where they go.

Is this the most childish plan ever or might it work to get him to understand how absolutely fucking exhausting it is carrying the mental load? And how do I keep strong and overlook the inevitable mess and dirt that he "doesn't see", and the missed birthday cards etc for his family?

For context I work one day less than him, but on my extra day off I'm looking after DD. I accept the blame for a lot of this as I've inadvertently enabled his lazy fuckery up until now, but no more!

When DH says 'We haven't seen Emma and Bob in a while'

I just agree 'I know we haven't'

That's it -

For the record - Emma and Bob wanted to see out new house, Emma and Bob have waited 8 years and counting .....

Do it OP!

I did it, we had a lot of arguments about what is fair. Eventually I made a very very detailed list of everything that needs to be done in a house with DC. From buying clothes to child's homework, to sorting clothes that are too small. And I said let's divide them.

We also got a cleaner for 2 hours a week (a luxury I know) but it has made things so much easier.

It pains me that my friends that work, still wash and iron their husbands clothes and they hate it, but they still do it.

My mum said to me years ago that she cooked every evening at the beginning of their marriage, 20 years later she regretted what she had started. She said make sure it's fair or you are setting yourself up for a lifetime or work.

So cooking has always been 50/50, washing and ironing of DC is shared and we do our own. Other housework is 50/50. It's 2018 why let it be anything other than completely fair.

Got to agree with Snowdrop and Tulips on the Emma & Bob thing - if DH says he hasn't seen them for a while, I'd be saying "so? what are you going to do about it then?" if they were his friends.
If they were my friends, then it wouldn't even be an issue.

As others have said, make a list. I made a comprehensive list, took me bloody ages. It included who sent bday cards, diary management, school letters, cleaning each room, laundry, buying DS clothes... etc.
We divided it up equally and I’ve ended up doing less than I did before. Plus I got rid of some of the jobs I don’t like; DH volunteered to take vacuuming and cleaning the bathroom 👍 he’s generally pretty good now, and I don’t nag... as frankly that’s additional worry/work for me too. They’re his jobs and I leave him to it.
It’s honestly really helped us.