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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this woman at the till was bloody rude

110 replies

QIsForCube · 03/01/2018 23:07

I was paying for items at the till in New Look and in the queue behind me was a lady with another lady who was a wheelchair user. While I was paying they were called up to the till after me and I was blocking their way. As I was preoccupied at the till, I didn’t hear them say excuse me a couple of times. I apologised and moved out the way. The lady who was pushing the wheelchair then said to the other person “don’t worry I would’ve just taken her ankles out if she didn’t move” while glaring at me. If I hadn’t have been with my mother I would have said something but I didn’t want to cause a scene in front of her. AIBU to think this was bloody rude and unnecessary?

OP posts:
Failingat40 · 04/01/2018 01:31

Yes she was rude.

My reply would have been "oh really!? Well I'd have knocked your head off if you'd done that so I'm glad you spoke a bit louder" Grin

But then I take no nonsense, accompanying someone in a wheelchair is no excuse for aggressive behaviour. She's a grade A arsehole for failing in her own awareness of hidden disability too.

spangles1963 · 04/01/2018 18:03

You didn't hear her because you were preoccupied and she got annoyed. Fair enough. But what if you had been deaf? My DD gets this,she has only 50% hearing in one ear and 25% in the other and often doesn't hear people talking to her in noisy public places. If someone had said this to her when she genuinely didn't hear them,she would have been most upset.

Flaky · 04/01/2018 18:34

I took it from OP that the aggressive woman pushing the person in the wheelchair was called to a different till, the one after hers? so they would have had to get past OP to get to it not that they were called to OPs till and were having to wait for her to finish paying. That would have been pretty shit customer service.

raspberrysuicide · 05/01/2018 14:53

Primark let wheelchair users go straight to the end checkout for this reason. I think most stores with checkouts like that should do it.
It's horrible trying to squeeze yourself behind people hoping they don't step backwards onto me !

InfiniteSheldon · 05/01/2018 15:00

Sounds like a jokey comment to me, like others have said check your privilege, if I'd behaved like you albeit unintentionally I'd be appologising profusely not copping a strop.

bigbluebus · 05/01/2018 15:46

Shopping with a wheelchair can be incredibly frustrating. It's like trying to negotiate an obstacle course. Shops cram far too much in so it is virtually impossible to get down aisles without knocking into things or past people browsing the shelves and those tills with a queueing system where you have to pass customers who are being served to get to another till are a nightmare. And that's before you have to deal with the general public, who, in spite of them mostly being able to follow the rules of the road behind the wheel of a car, lose all sense of direction and common sense when on foot. I have, on many occasions, bashed the calfs of many a pedestrian who has decided to just stop dead in front of me and my DD's wheelchair. The only time I lost my rag with someone though was in a hospital foyer where a chap who was walking along texting on his mobile phone crashed straight into the side of DD's chair and nearly landed on top of her.

So spare a thought for the wheelchair user and their carer/companion. You may not have been the 1st person to get in their way and 'ignore' them on that day on top of all the other difficulties they may have had to contend with due to the wheelchair.

NerrSnerr · 05/01/2018 15:57

She sounds a bit psychotic.
No she didn’t. Look up psychosis in a dictionary.

There are so many people who are so engrossed in their important lives that they are just oblivious to what’s going on around them. It’s bloody annoying, especially when pushing a wheelchair so have to wait for these people to finally notice you every day. I imagine she’s just at the end of her tether. It’s the same as the people who stand blocking the pavement and don’t notice people coming past. So frustrating.

MissDuke · 05/01/2018 15:57

Surely we have all been in this position, whether pushing a wheelchair, a buggy or a shopping trolley. It IS really frustrating when people are so wrapped up in their own world that they don't even hear 'excuse me' or have the common sense to look to see why the person behind hasn't moved forward to the till when called. I always try to remain aware of who is behind me and whether I am blocking anyone as many times I have been the person who is blocked.

I honestly think some people just don't have any consideration for others. Like the other day in a shopping centre a lady pushing a trolley behind us got impatient as we were walking slowly due to people in front being slow, we didn't mind. Lady with trolley pushed out round us to 'overtake' but on the way by hit my toddler dd with her trolley - dd was walking in a straight line Confused. I said to DH 'oh no DD just got hit yet again', and the lady turned her head and shouted 'she walked into me actually'. Which was so clearly pure crap, she just didn't care she had hurt dd. I would have been mortified to have hurt a child!

Anyway, I don't think there was any need for her to be so rude op, but maybe in future you could try to be more aware of what is going on around you?

BlurryFace · 05/01/2018 17:44

I'd have said "oh, go on then". Who hasn't been stuck saying "excuse me, excuse me, EXCUSE ME" trying to get past someone? She was a rude bitch.

raspberrysuicide · 05/01/2018 20:45

When I was in hospital the porter was pushing me in my own wheelchair to get an x-ray and there was a man standing in the middle of the corridor on his phone. The porter shouted really loudly that we were coming through and he didn't move so the porter ran his foot over on purpose! He apologised then said I did warn you...
It was brilliant lol

RadioGaGoo · 05/01/2018 21:04

Mumsnet is the only place where you are told to apologise to someone being rude to you whilst simultaneously being told not to be a doormat when someone is rude to you.

Sweetpea55 · 05/01/2018 21:23

I will, probably get outed for this but just remember that this is my observations .
We go on a lot of cruises and there are quite a lot of disabled pasengers in electric wheelchairs or scooters and some of them are unbelievably rude...Barging through lift doors,no thank you if we hold the lift for them. Not all of them are rude I have to say,but a lot are.
I'm sorry for them because they are obviously in pain and or frustrated and not bring mobile but it costs nothing to have some naners

Sweetpea55 · 05/01/2018 21:23

Manners

Originalfoogirl · 05/01/2018 21:52

I'm saying that I would have thought someone pushing someone's wheelchair is caring for them.

I take it you refer to a mother pushing a buggy being a carer then?

No, of course you don’t. In every other situation it seems perfectly easy to describe a couple without patronising one of them. “This woman and her friend” “That man with his son” “The girl and her sister”. It’s really easy.

Tippz · 05/01/2018 21:56

Rude cow. YANBU.

Reminds me of when I was in a lift some months back, and 5 others were in it with me. It went from the ground floor (where my car was,) to the 3rd floor (the shops were on the 5th floor, which is where I and the others were heading.)

On the 3rd floor the lift stopped, because a woman (with a man in a wheelchair) had called the lift.

They couldn't get in, as the lift was full. The woman glared.

As the doors shut, and the lift went upwards; the woman started screaming 'fucking ignorant cunts! You could all use the fucking bastard fucking stairs! I hope you become fucking disabled one day.'

Un. Fucking. Believable.

How did SHE know everyone was 'able bodied...?' 3 of the people were well over 70; were they meant to walk up 6 flights of 25 stairs FFS? And I COULD walk up 150 stairs, but why the fuck should I?

Stupid entitled cunt.

Sounds like the silly bitch who verbally abused the OP.

If I had been the OP, I would have said, 'you'd have been picking up your teeth with broken fingers if you had rammed my ankles, you old cunt.'

Originalfoogirl · 05/01/2018 21:56

Barging through lift doors,no thank you if we hold the lift for them. Not all of them are rude I have to say,but a lot are.

Wow, that’s a large, sweeping generalisation. Equally, when out with our daughter in her wheelchair, we meet a lot of people who aren’t in wheelchairs. Not all of them are rude but I have to say, a lot of them are. I’m sorry for them as obviously they are frustrated with being out in public and not being able to be doing whatever else they want to be doing, but manners cost nothing.

Originalfoogirl · 05/01/2018 22:00

They couldn't get in, as the lift was full. The woman glared

When you have waited for over 20 minutes because every time the lift comes it is full of people who are capable of climbing stairs, you will understand why she was so irritated.

Thankfully there are people who realise they can climb stairs and will do so rather than insisting it is their RIGHT to use the lift and everyone else be damned.

LockedOutOfMN · 05/01/2018 22:02

The lady who made the rude comment to OP was rude and BU, regardless of the fact that she is a wheelchair user.

apostropheuse · 05/01/2018 22:02

She was extremely ride, she had no idea if the OP heard her or not. I would hate to think that people thought that I was ignoring them, when in fact I have a hearing impairment and wear two hearing aids.

Tippz · 05/01/2018 22:03

@originalfoogirl

How did this woman KNOW that everyone in the lift could climb the stairs?

Stupid ridiculous assumption, from an entitled twat.

At LEAST half the people in my lift could not have walked up 150 stairs.

mishfish · 05/01/2018 22:04

The ankle comments were unnecessary but I do have sympathy for those pushing the wheel chairs having spent a period using wheel chairs myself. I have a physical disability myself and though can walk I drag my leg (had surgery today to hopefully help Grin) and would probably have said something like ‘I couldn’t hear you and I apologised. The ankle comments were unnecessary and I have a physical disability myself so I’d appreciate if you leave them alone’.

Please just forget about it though, they probably have x

Tippz · 05/01/2018 22:04

Not everyone who has a disability is in a wheelchair FFS! Hmm

EvilDoctorHogmanayDuck · 05/01/2018 22:07

People constantly think I'm ignoring them, I'm just quite deaf until I get my ears syringed every 6 months. It's not personal. Also, I've experienced this with my buggy. You really have to bellow "Excuse me!" to some people.

Originalfoogirl · 05/01/2018 22:08

At LEAST half the people in my lift could not have walked up 150 stairs.

That leaves about half who could. Yourself included. So not a ridiculous assumption at all. In fact, on balance of probabilities it is likely the majority can.

from an entitled twat.

Says the person who didn’t climb the stairs because “why should I” 😂

Tippz · 05/01/2018 22:10

I am as entitled to use the lift as anyone else. I'll be fucked if I am walking up 150 stairs.

She and the man with her can wait for the next lift.

And don't call ME entitled; I don't rant and scream like a cunt when I can't get into a lift coz it's full.