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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to smash up his camcorder

88 replies

Nevertoomuch22 · 03/01/2018 11:17

My DH gave me a fake lottery scratch card and videoed me secretly whilst I jumped around thinking that I had won 50 grand.

Whilst I'm not usually that gullible, It did not occur to me that he would do something so totally disrespectful to his own wife.

This really upset me when he took great joy in showing the footage to my grown up children and laughing out loud at me.

AIU to be so upset and smash his camcorder into tiny bits. He doesn't know yet what I've done!!

OP posts:

DistanceCall · 03/01/2018 12:06

he can be very disrespectful in many ways... He's bit of a narcissist and doesn't care about peoples feelings.

And you're with him because...?

cordeliavorkosigan · 03/01/2018 12:07

I think that's awful of him and if he often shows you this level of contempt you should leave him! I don't think I'd ever want to live with someone who would treat me (or anyone, really) like that. To each their own and all that, but I'd be so hurt I'd want to leave.

pictish · 03/01/2018 12:08

What an absolute arsehole he is. I'd not have smashed up the camcorder (what a waste of money) but I'd have left him under no illusion as to what I thought of him humiliating me for his own entertainment. What a complete turn off. Just horrible. Ugh!

cordeliavorkosigan · 03/01/2018 12:08

And send the new one back for a refund, and spend the money on something nice. For yourself and for someone kind in your life.

melj1213 · 03/01/2018 12:08

Was the prank acceptable? No

Is destroying someone else's property an acceptable reaction to being embarrassed? No

YABVU OP, yes your DH's prank was upsetting but that does not give you any right to destroy his property.

If he decided that your destruction of his camcorder was upsetting to him then can he destroy some of your favourite items?

donquixotedelamancha · 03/01/2018 12:10

My DH gave me a fake lottery scratch card and videoed me secretly whilst I jumped around thinking that I had won 50 grand.

I think that's hysterical- more taking things so far, than the actual joke itself. I'd be very impressed if DW pulled something like that. I don't really see why everyone thinks it's malicious, but we all have a different sense of humour. I would still be very apologetic if a joke had upset my partner, whether I still thought it was funny or not.

at first laugh it off. He's bit of a narcissist and doesn't care about peoples feelings.

How would he know your feelings, in this case, if instead of telling him, you laughed it off? A normal, reasonable response would be to tell him how upset you are and perhaps complain on MN if he doesn't respond appropriately. Destroying a partner's property because they do something you don't like is abusive.

Perhaps he is narcissistic and doesn't care about you- in which case LTB. Perhaps you two just don't communicate as well as you should-
some couples counselling might help. Either way, you aren't happy and you need to address it.

Shadow666 · 03/01/2018 12:11

I agree, you should have fucked his best mate and recorded it on his camcorder for him to find. That would learn him!

GabsAlot · 03/01/2018 12:12

he sounds like a child why is that funny

pictish · 03/01/2018 12:12

On top of that, it's just such a childish and el-thicko basic humour isn't it? It lacks any sophistication or intelligence and relies on dumb-fuck cruelty for a result. That he would find this funny is a turn off in itself. I can't imagine he's very bright.

Rufus27 · 03/01/2018 12:13

Got to confess I did this to DB one Christmas. Just hadnt thought it through. To make it worse, when he saw he'd 'won' he kissed me and said we'd go 50/50. Never have I felt so bad. I ended up rushing out when the shops opened to buy him a decent bottle of wine to say sorry! Luckily he has a good sense of humour and I think he quite enjoyed seeing me squirm afterwards!

restbiterepeat · 03/01/2018 12:14

Urgh. I'd already have paid it off the mortgage and recalculated the monthly repayments while I was jumping up and down with glee.

The sinking feeling when I realised that this piece of good luck was a prank to humiliate me. I'd be wild with him.

I wouldn't have smashed the camera, I'd have thrown it into the garden and locked the fucker out when he went to retrieve it.

Bearsinmotion · 03/01/2018 12:23

I did smash the camera, but did buy him another for xmas. I do feel really bad now.

I don't understand - if you have smashed it and he doesn't know, but you got him another for Christmas, did he not wonder about the old one? How long ago was it smashed?

WorraLiberty · 03/01/2018 12:31

Did he not say "Thanks for the Christmas present but I already have a camcorder"?

pictish · 03/01/2018 12:33

When some idiot plays a 'joke' on someone like this, it's always worth asking them who the joke was for...who gets the benefit of the laughs?
When a 'pranker' makes an arse of someone for their own entertainment it's not a 'joke' because it only serves the person who set it up. The butt of the joke has been made to look and more importantly, feel foolish. When the pranker is forced to admit that they are the person who has benefited from it while the target has been left feeling dreadful, it appears less of a joke and more like the bullying it actually is.

"It's just a joke."
Fuck off bully.

HumphreyCobblers · 03/01/2018 12:36

oh god, this is so mean

making something think they has won a life changing amount of money just so you could humiliate them for your own laugh.

What kind of sad fucker finds this funny? I can't believe some of you would enjoy this being done to you. It is just horrible behaviour.

I personally would not have smashed the camera.

FizzyGreenWater · 03/01/2018 12:36

Take back your camcorder and give it to someone who does give a shit about people's feelings. Then leave this defective human.

Cherrycokewinning · 03/01/2018 12:37

He has a camcorder?!

Smash it up anyway. Hello, the 90s called and want their gadget back. Tell him to use an iPhone like normal people

plimsolls · 03/01/2018 12:39

I hate that kind of “joke”.

Bindibot · 03/01/2018 12:40

I’m with @pictish on this one.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 03/01/2018 12:46

You sound as bad as each other.

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 03/01/2018 12:46

I’m probably in a minority here but I have seen some pretty funny practical jokes over the years, and yes that includes ones being played on me. I guess the key is knowing if the ‘victim’ will take it in good grace or be upset and embarrassed . If it is the latter then and you still carry out your prank that is pretty shit.

rcit · 03/01/2018 12:49

Pranking is a kind of bullying imo. Designed to make one person look stupid whilst another laughs at them. Never understood them as a child, still don’t in my forties.

FreddieClaryHorshieLion · 03/01/2018 12:53

rcit

Depends on the prank imo.

It’s fine if everyone is also to laugh about it and or no one is actually humiliated / hurt.

But yes, it’s sometimes a rather fine line...

ElsieMc · 03/01/2018 12:59

Oh dear. My gs has to go to contact with his dad and paternal (who he cannot stand) grandparents who did the same to him, telling him he had won far more. We had to tell him that it wasn't true and he was so upset. Not just the thought of money, but the thought that they had laughed at a child's humiliation. Horrible people. Didn't even have the guts to admit it was a prank when they realised how upset he was and just ignored it.

So op, Yanbu. Horrible to make fun of you to family and friends. I can only hope they think he is as a big a knob as we do. Bet they are sorry for you because you are with him rather than his cruel trick.

fpurplea · 03/01/2018 13:00

Sorry, wtaf? Of course it isn't ok to trash his belongings, are you 5? I'm stunned at the number of people who are saying it was justified! It was a joke. A shit joke, but one that'll have been repeated hundreds of times over on Christmas morning in households across the country. Some people would find it funny. You don't, and that's ok. But smashing his stuff? Massive overreaction IMO.

Feeling disrespected, I get that. I would hate it. Absolutely, mad crying fit, not talk to him for days hate it. But my dh bloody well knows that, and wouldn't. It's him not realising / caring about that that is the issue here. There appears to be a fundamental disconnect here between you and you're not solving any problems in your relationship by breaking his belongings.

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