AIBU to ask you not to even think about taking on a pet unless you know what the fuck you are getting into?

[MycatsaPirate]

Sorry, this may be a rant.

A friend of mine runs a wildlife rescue and both of us are active on a pets lost and found group on facebook too. Both of us have taken on cats in the last two months which were either unwanted, neglected or strays.

Mine is staying with us with our other cats. My friend however, runs a rescue and her house is filled with various wild animals that are not conducive to keeping a cat plus she has four dogs. So she found a couple who wanted a house cat.

They picked up the cat at 2pm today and have since rung her to say they don't want to keep her because a) she's growling and swiping at them and b) they can't pick her up and cuddle her. FFS! They've had her a few hours and it can take weeks to settle in a cat.

Luckily a mumsnetter had messaged me a few days ago about this cat and I am hopeful she will be able to offer her a permanent home providing she can give the cat the patience and time it needs to settle in.

But please, whatever animal you think you want, do some research. Ask questions, ask on forums specific to the animal, find out how long it will live, find out how much money it will cost to provide everything that animal needs from food and vets bills to specialist equipment. Most importantly of all, please understand that it's an animal and it's not an 'instant pet'.

Quite happy to answer questions on cats and if anyone can off advice on other animals, please do make yourselves known.

Please don't get a pet and then lose interest in it a few months later :(

I find it baffling when an inexperienced owner thinks they can get any traumatised pet and it'll work out. And even my DP is guilty of this- they imagine all animals become lap pets, they don't always, depends on personality.

I remember pointing out one of my cats was daft as a brush and one needed three adults (vet, vet nurse and me or my mum) and a thick towel even for non invasive treatments.

The daft one was the one that used to be feral and very aggressive!

Just saw a rabbit page on Facebook share a photo of a giant rabbit "dressed" in a pink pet dress thing with arms and a skirt, in a "car seat" with straps. Poor thing looks fucking terrified. The poster wrote something like "hebbo, dis bees me in my noo dwess!".

Furious.

Its also being very realistic about what you can cope with. I was seriously considering a dog earlier in the year, as I'm now working from home in a very dog-friendly area, could use the regular excercise etc etc. But, I started to read up on the challenges of training a dog properly and decided I wasn't quite up for it.
So, I got a second cat instead, and will continue to stick to cats in future!

I shit you not, this is the reply I got when I commented asking why the rabbit was in a dress:

"Mees bees wearing mines "I'm just a girl" dwess because mees bees a girl bunny! giggles

Where do you even start with that.

YANBU at all OP. We rescued a cat in August 2016 - he’s enormous and was very very grumpy. The rescue told us that he had been ‘living rough’ for quite some time, and he had been waiting to be rehomed for several months too so he was quite wary and not very well socialised. I loved him right away though and so did the kids! We decided to give him a chance and just let him settle in his own time.

It took him almost a year to start joining us downstairs (he would occasionally come down after the kids were in bed but never during the day) and a further month or so for him to start going outside again. Now he’s all over the house, in and out as he pleases, loves snuggles and a good scratch behind the ears. I can’t even imagine if we’d given up on him when he was still a bit troublesome

thisnamechanger Jesus fucking wept! That poor rabbit!

Ragamuffin One of ours was in rescue for ages, she was so timid that you couldn't even get to see her as she just hid away when anyone tried to see her. She was reserved a few times and then people kept changing their minds. I went with DD2 and sat in her enclose for the best part of an hour and she finally peered out from where she was hiding and just looked at us. I wanted to give her a chance and after a home check we took her home and she is now such a lovely affectionate girl. She loves kissing us (I mean, really liberally face washing us!), she is so friendly and sweet natured. She has never scratched or hissed at us once.

Pixie is due to get her onesie off tomorrow hopefully, I have been undoing it and giving her a thorough brush every day and she is in heaven. Poor little soul hates wearing it, can't imagine why the fuck anyone dresses their pets up in costumes.

Our neighbours (2 lots) both have dogs they don't walk ever. Farthest neighbour used to have a cat but just abandoned it when they got the dog. Twats. Nearest ones let their huge mastiff howl.

We have a rescue cat. On first meeting, she swiped at dd (who was 16 at the time) and drew blood. We knew she'd be a bit tricky but she'd had a crap start and just needed to be somewhere with people who were quiet and patient. She took to dp (the cat whisperer) straight away but it took at least 6 months for her to settle properly. She's been here 6 years now and is mad as a box of frogs.

YADNBU - I've got a Patterdale (amongst other creatures) and was horrified reading the breed site when I read that the peak age for animals to be handed in to the rescue centre was 18 months!

18 months! How can you have an animal in your life for the best part of a year and a half, and then give it away? I mean, obviously if your life changes and you can no longer care for it, fair enough, but surely, by 18 months that dog is part of your family?!

I mean, yes, Patterdales, like other terriers, can be challenging little buggers when they enter their 'teens', but I wouldn't have given away my kids when they got a bit uppity, I'd work it out, why the hell would I give away my dog? But so many people get terriers just because they are small, and they think they'll be 'the right size for the family' without taking into account the hours and hours of exercise all dogs bred to work need when kept as pets.

Keeping pets is entirely selfish imo.

Definitely NBU. The amount of people that get a pony for their kid or because they always wanted one as a kid is ridiculous. I spent 20+ years looking after horses before I could afford one and even then I wasn't prepared for what kind of horse I ended up buying or how much he would cost me.

Seen too many people as well have pets that are old and are dying but they won't put them down. It sucks having to do it, we've had a lot of pets over the years and letting them go is painful, but when it's the best thing for them you have no option.

Patterdales are very cute but buggers. They need training. Some dogs you can get away with minimal training, but not patterdales. I suspect it is people who have simply not done enough research into the breed.

YANBU and you are spot on. As far as I am concerned my cat is family member and he is taken care of with food, warmth and vaccinations etc. I have another family member who has had many pets which have come and gone - rehomed or given away after just a few months. In my entire lifetime I have had 3 with all long happy lives. They know exactly what I think of their “interchangeable” animals point of view, and so we have got to just agree to disagree as we would never speak again.

Sadly animals are too cheap to buy and too easy to get hold of. There should be laws about breeding with licences that are actually enforced. My specialist vet and i discussed this, they have been involved in giving evidence in horse cruelty cases. Even horses are too cheap - people can get hold of one for less than their hay will cost for the winter.

Sadly many pets are just fashion items, horses especially, but the poor pugs, French bulldogs,etc.

@Zaphodsotherhead - absolutely. I volunteer at a rescue kennel that works with challenging dogs. We had a terrier x bought in who'd actually been taken to the vet to be pts for aggression, but the vet had seen something in him, had him signed over and contacted the rescue instead. I was asked to foster him as I have a lot of experience with terriers.
At first he was a little sod. A terrified little sod. He was 5, and as far as we could tell he'd had no training, no exercise, didn't even know how to "Sit" on command, didn't know what a dog bed was, didn't know what a toy was, much less how to play with one...The only thing he knew how to do was stop people doing things he didn't like by snapping at them.
Six months down the line he is asleep in a cosy basket at my feet as I write this. He is still far from perfect and probably always will have issues, but he is a smart boy and has mastered a number of commands and tricks, is very affectionate, loves his walks and his trip in the motorhome with us, and just yesterday played with the toy bunny I bought home with him for the first time
That particular rescue is very careful about which dog they rehome and who they rehome it to, but Nervousdog is of the cute and fluffy persuasion - can you imagine the fallout if he'd been adopted by a family with small children because they liked the way he looks, and how much ammo it would have given the "rescue dogs are dangerous and unpredictable" brigade? I would never take on anything but a rescue now, but the rescue organisations really do have to do their bit to maximise the chances of the right dog going to the right home.

In PaH today I noticed the rabbits had a sign saying they're recommended for experienced owners which I thought is good.

It still pisses me off that my parents gave away a pedigree giant Poodle to someone and the utter fuckers didn't give the little mite water because it would pee on their expensive carpets. They then admitted they got the pup as it matched the colour of their car- WTF!

Long story, but they weren't breeders or anything, they didn't ask for any money. In fact the vet said you never give pets away, always sell them as it discourages some of the riff raff.

My parents weren't breeders BTW.

Just over 4 years ago, my dm had my dd's for the weekend for me to attend a function, she came back with them and two tiny little kittens.... well about 4 month old that looked awful tiny like about 8 weeks.

I had seen these kitties just after they were born and had done the typical ooh I want to steal them etc BUT I had two toddlers and we had started going on holidays a few times a year.. our next holiday 6 days after they arrived.

I was fucking fuming at my mum at the time really, one of them was a bit nuts and hurt the dd's quite a few times but he was a lovely boy, unfortunately at about 10 months old he disappeared just a fortnight before we moved towns.

I literally searched day and night through forests, rivers, folks gardens you name it, leafletted all houses in the village etc. We had to leave without him (he was found shortly after (well smelt) under a backing on street neighbours decking, had been run over, someone had seen too )

That was the turning point in my life with our remaining boy, who had actually always been a really sweet cuddly thing, seeing him so depressed and not eating/stressed out was horrific.

Id kill as much for my cat as like I would for my dc. I might take myself for a pee/cry now before dh sees me misty eyed

What kind of idiot thinks a cat will settle in within hours of their new home? It took my 2 cats a fair while to settle now they're the happiest and most affectionate cats you'll get

Holy shit, that was the longest reply ive ever written on here.

Would like to point out that the kittens were meant as a good thought on my mums part. I had a house cat before and moved in with a friend, who let him out repeatedly "by accident" once he was gone for 9 weeks, found caked in tar

I couldn't afford deposit/first rent on new place at the time so mum came and took him to hers... she kept him(she had his sister who unfortunately died in a house fire a year or so later, so mum kept him)

So I think she felt she owed me in a way if you know what I mean, and the 2 and 3 year old said they wanted a kitty granny

Our pets are all rescues apart from the fish. We adopted our rabbits from the Rabbit Residence in Herts and people cannot believe our rabbits' accomodation - they have a shed, a big long tunnel and a massive run, but this is the RSPCA and Rabbit Welfare Association minimum space for a pair of rabbits! I always gently point this out to people who marvel at our rabbit palace. I love our rabbits but they are a lot of work.
We've also got two rescue cats and we used to have rescue gerbils (RIP). We are now about to get a rescue corn snake and a bearded dragon which is slightly alarming since I haven't had reptiles before but we've done lots of research and I think we're prepared.
So NBU. Definitely.

I would love to get a cat. But I have a long term health condition so I would need to plan and prepare for one.
I had 2 childhood cats at different times. First one was lovely and affectionate and I was her favourite person. Broke my heart when she died. Killed my 2 dogs because their prat of an owner let them out to run free.
Second cat was a grumpy sod. Didn't like to be touched or picked up. If he ever came to sit on you you would have to remain perfectly still for him to stay. Not try and touch him. He preferred to be left alone. We mostly respected that and he was happy enough.
I think I understand cats and would never expect immediate affection. In fact some are never that affectionate. That's the chance you take when you get a cat.
Actually with any pet you need to be prepared to accept what you get and not try to force them into what you want. I saw an animal programme a while ago and they were talking about how rabbits don't usually like to be held and it's kinder to get 2 to keep each other company. I didn't know that.

It’s not research or time or energy it’s lack of humanity and decency.
A pet is like s child. Yours and you don’t send them back you work at them and you sort them

I disagree that a pet is like a child. My children will always come first. If a pet was putting them at risk (through attacking, being incontinent indoors, spreading disease or triggering an allergy) the pet would go. I wouldn't be trying to sort them if children were at risk or distressed.

I want mine to grow up with positive experiences of pets. DD is very gentle and kind to the cat, she's learning all about caring for cats, reading their behaviour etc.

Kids should come first- as I have a toddler I couldn't keep any animal that was aggressive, too risky for everyone involved. Our cat refused to use the litter for a while due to a UTI and simply because she wanted a new tray- we still have her.

However, one of my childhood cats turned very aggressive for a couple of months when I was a teenager- I'm sure my mum loved me, but there wasn't any talk of rehoming as it wasn't necessary as I was old enough.

So NBU! I have such a huge issue with this as I sit in the exotics camp. I have a Royal Python, I took her on after extensive research as my cousin was getting rid of her (usual excuses). Since then I've been on reptile forums and the amount of people wanting to get rid of these animals astounds me, not least as they are nearly impossible to be rehomed into a shelter due to their specialist care needs.

The fact that there is no regulation in breeding also disgusts me. My girl has a neurological condition which causes what looks like fits... sadly there is nothing that can be done for her. It's not fatal but is very distressing to watch and all because it gives her pretty markings...

I know this because of my research - it's no different to taking on a flat faced breed (cat or dog)