AIBU to ask you not to even think about taking on a pet unless you know what the fuck you are getting into?

[MycatsaPirate]

Sorry, this may be a rant.

A friend of mine runs a wildlife rescue and both of us are active on a pets lost and found group on facebook too. Both of us have taken on cats in the last two months which were either unwanted, neglected or strays.

Mine is staying with us with our other cats. My friend however, runs a rescue and her house is filled with various wild animals that are not conducive to keeping a cat plus she has four dogs. So she found a couple who wanted a house cat.

They picked up the cat at 2pm today and have since rung her to say they don't want to keep her because a) she's growling and swiping at them and b) they can't pick her up and cuddle her. FFS! They've had her a few hours and it can take weeks to settle in a cat.

Luckily a mumsnetter had messaged me a few days ago about this cat and I am hopeful she will be able to offer her a permanent home providing she can give the cat the patience and time it needs to settle in.

But please, whatever animal you think you want, do some research. Ask questions, ask on forums specific to the animal, find out how long it will live, find out how much money it will cost to provide everything that animal needs from food and vets bills to specialist equipment. Most importantly of all, please understand that it's an animal and it's not an 'instant pet'.

Quite happy to answer questions on cats and if anyone can off advice on other animals, please do make yourselves known.

Please don't get a pet and then lose interest in it a few months later :(

See also: people who want to rehome their ‘aggressive’ dogs, who are just being (untrained) dogs and are not actually aggressive.

This is a timely thread, @MycatsaPirate , I have a thread at the moment asking for advice prior to adopting a cat. We are a family of four, with two DC age 6 and 3.

Copied from my thread:

We also went yesterday to visit a cat with another rescue. Absolutely gorgeous fluffy ginger boy, 18 months old - but so nervous he wouldn't come out of his pen, and squashed himself into a corner.

He didn't hiss or show any signs of aggression, he just wouldn't come out. His fosterer says once he gets to know you he's very gentle and a real "love bug" but is obviously finding being in a pen and away from the only home he's known stressful. He's only been there a few days too.

I don't know whether he'd be the right choice for us or not? I know you can't get a real idea of a cat's personality under those circumstances but I'm wary of bringing a nervous cat into a house with children - even ones as gentle as mine (and they did me proud - soft voices, kept their distance, no attempts to grab him, just tried to coax him out).

The fosterer also said that he's better with men as his previous owner was a man. DH is happy for us to get a cat but is largely indifferent to them himself, so it would be ironic for the cat to pick him as his buddy - it's supposed to be a pet for me and the DC. My first ever cat was a rescue who turned out to be very afraid of children and would run and hide whenever she saw me. Was very upsetting for both of us and we ended up rehoming her with a neighbour who didn't have children.

I don't want to let his good looks blind me into making the wrong decision if he's not right for us - but then he might be fine once he's settled in. There's no way of knowing without adopting him though! I can't think about it for too long, as he'll be snapped up as soon he goes on their website.

I'm happy to wait if he's not the right cat got us, but also don't want to overlook a lovely cat who's understandably stressed?

Rabbits are pretty delicate and hide pain and illness very well, meaning you can have lots of drop everything and run 3am vets trips which can cost thousands. Depends a bit on the individual bun, I have one robust one and one sickly one. They also need a carefully regulated diet. I'm over cautious so I pay for two visits per day from a pet sitter when I'm off. The other thing people don't get is the amount of space they need. I'm part of a rescue group on FB and I'm always seeing adverts for new homes for buns kept constantly in tiny cages. Lastly they're not anywhere near as cute and adorable as people think. Sure they look beautiful and are really amusing and fun to watch because they have such funny little personalities, but they basically like being left alone. If they come over and poke you with your nose, you've been blessed by the bunny gods! They hate being picked up and cuddled. They're pretty animals so don't need to "play" like a dog or cat would. They're best watched and enjoyed from a distance. I do adore mine though, they make me laugh so much.

Prey* although they are pretty too!

anyone who expects to be able to pick up and cuddle a cat needs to reconsider getting a cat!

cats come to you - and fuck off when they have had enough - they aren't stuffed toys

my big rescue boy is on my lap now - but its a rare occurance

YANBU. One of our rescue cats stayed under the piano for 3 days. I'm still amazed she could fit under there! She gradually got used to us. She's a lovely cat.

All of our pets are other people's cast-offs. - Ours too. It's sad.

Don’t even start me - you would think people would at least think before buying a horse , dangerous expensive creatures that they are .

Nope . I know one person who has been through 5 , that she has utterly utterly ruined , one of which was put down due to her lack of care . None of them cost less than 5k , but she’s always been spoilt . One of them I took on before he got sold for meat . When I got him , he was a clinically depressed toast rack.

I have another that someone bought for his grandaughter , who didn’t want him . The man was then stuck with him , and he was a total novice , so the horse took the mickey ( and he wasn’t being fed or had any bed either ) until I bought him for a pound , and turned him from a biting ill mannered thug into a decent equine again . My son’s pony is another . It infuriates me . I think there should be some sort of knowledge test before people can even be sold an animal .

I am praying for the day the government bring in licenses to own pets. Too many people do this shit. I think it should be means tested so the poorer areas society don’t have to pay for it but once you have it taken away, that’s it no more pets.

Both my cats would be picked up and cuddled but we had them from kittens.

YANBU.

My DC would love a dog or a cat. Telling them they need to pick up all the dog poo was enough to put them off dogs (we live in Paris - the streets are filthy with dog poo).

DH is allergic to cats and although I'd love one , we live in a flat. I've only ever had cats in a house where they could go outside. Keeping them in seems cruel.

Lastly, I don't have the energy!

People are fucking stupid. Anyone that expects an animal to settle in INSTANTLY, is a complete moron. You have to give them time to acclimatise and settle in.

Some rescues will ask this question of people on their adoption forms before they consider letting someone rehome an animal. Sometimes the rescues can be as foolish as folks looking to adopt because they aren't screening folks properly. Folks also lie a lot and pretend to know what they're going aaaaand then an animal has to bounce back because they're idiots. After spending time involved in rescue, I pulled my hair out regularly.

Of course YANBU. But generally people are either ignorant arseholes or they aren't. I don't think your message would be news to many people. The problem is that the arseholes just don't care.

Yanbu , I love dogs but I know our lifestyle is not conducive to one and would be very unfair on the animal.
Saw on Facebook our neighbors got a surprise puppy (with red bow on neck)for Christmas, a chocolate Labrador. Small urban house very small garden, both work long hours and 3 small children. Makes me so mad. Can hear the poor pup crying through the wall as they gone to work today. Can’t imagine what will be like when fully grown.

I miss our animals. now we have DS we don't have the time to dedicate to looking after them. We had rescue rabbits, we were asked a lot of questions, needed to provide photos of living quarters/home visit and bring our rabbit in to see how they got on. We've always had affectionate rabbits that would come and sit on your lap if you were in the garden. When the last two passed away when DS was one we decided to,wait until,he was older before we got pets again. Would love a dog again (had one grownup) but we are out of the house too long each day.

I think most pets are badly behaved due to the pet owner.

We had rabbits growing up, didn't know about keeping them in the house etc then so didn't keep them in the best of conditions, though to be fair except in extreme weather they were out in the garden most of the day, and spent a fair amount of time in the house as well, just going in a hutch overnight. Would never get one for DS, much as I loved them and still miss my Poppie sometimes with her snuffily kisses and incredibly bad temper.

My mum only ever let us get a pet growing up that she would be prepared to look after when/if we lost interest.

We took on a rabbit not knowing how much work he’d be - from someone else who couldn’t be bothered. It was a big learning curve and one we embraced so that he had a life he deserved. He hated being touched or handled but with a great deal of patience and TLC he learned that we were ok and we could sit with him, stroke him and hand feed him. I miss that bun but I’d never have another. Likewise with our cats - my black cat has the biggest attitude and can be quite aggressive. Another rescue and with someone else he would’ve been rehomed time and again but surely you just don’t do that?!

I know too many people with ‘designer’ mixed breed —expensive— dogs who seem to buy them as a status symbol of some sort with social media posts of the high life. Reality is the dogs are left at home alone 8-6 every day with very little interaction or care. Until it’s time for a selfie, of course....

Battle Anyone that expects an animal to settle in INSTANTLY, is a complete moron. You have to give them time to acclimatise and settle in.

Reminds me of my neighbour... we share a small garden, and she was always leaving the back gate open even when my rabbits were obviously outside and might escape, ie. no care for them whatsoever. She then tried to get a selfie with one rabbit whilst feeding him carrot. Was super proud of DBun when he snubbed her (even for carrot!)

Special call out to the taxi driver who took me to the animal rescue to get DBun#3 and couldn't understand why I didn't just buy one from the pet shop as it's "cheaper" . Which it isn't actually, not if you're bothering to do it properly and get the rabbit vaccinated and neutered (essential before bonding with another rabbit - RABBITS SHOULD NEVER BE KEPT ALONE). (Mind you he wins cunt of the year award as also managed to be very sexist, mildly racist, and scorned people who care about the environment. It was a sort of taxi-driver cliche bingo).

We have a dog and there is and has always been someone to let him out if we are away for more than a few hours. However, 10 years on we now with 2 dc under 2 and poor dog is older and grumpier now he's been ignored a bit more (tried to introduce him to kids but involved growling, knocking over etc so they have minimal close supervised contact). Even though we were well prepared, have both had dogs for years separately and planned for day to day, you can't ever be sure what will happen and some pets live a very long time!

Of all our gang, only DDog2 is a wanted and chosen purchase. DDogs1&3 and FaintlyCat are all rescues with varying degrees of sadness in their backgrounds.
As it happens DDog3 has her first appointment with The Bad Dog Lady today, in a vain attempt to undo some of the damage from her past

To be absolutely fair, my first rescue boy did settle in IMMEDIATELY. I picked him up at lunch time, dropped him to my home with food, water and litter ready for him, and left him alone for a few hours. When I came home from work, he was mewing to be let out, and led me around the house, tail in the air.

Less than an hour after I was home, he curled up on my chest purring in my face. When I picked up his brother a month later (he was ill before so they wouldn't release him), he was only a little more shy, staying upstairs most of the day.

I have to say, I was surprised Cat's Protection didn't give me very much verbal advice about settling them though - just the leaflets. Maybe I just gave off the impression of being a cat nutter, or maybe they were just so happy that someone wanted to adopt a pair of black 14 year old toms that they didn't question it.