AIBU to ask you not to even think about taking on a pet unless you know what the fuck you are getting into?

[MycatsaPirate]

Sorry, this may be a rant.

A friend of mine runs a wildlife rescue and both of us are active on a pets lost and found group on facebook too. Both of us have taken on cats in the last two months which were either unwanted, neglected or strays.

Mine is staying with us with our other cats. My friend however, runs a rescue and her house is filled with various wild animals that are not conducive to keeping a cat plus she has four dogs. So she found a couple who wanted a house cat.

They picked up the cat at 2pm today and have since rung her to say they don't want to keep her because a) she's growling and swiping at them and b) they can't pick her up and cuddle her. FFS! They've had her a few hours and it can take weeks to settle in a cat.

Luckily a mumsnetter had messaged me a few days ago about this cat and I am hopeful she will be able to offer her a permanent home providing she can give the cat the patience and time it needs to settle in.

But please, whatever animal you think you want, do some research. Ask questions, ask on forums specific to the animal, find out how long it will live, find out how much money it will cost to provide everything that animal needs from food and vets bills to specialist equipment. Most importantly of all, please understand that it's an animal and it's not an 'instant pet'.

Quite happy to answer questions on cats and if anyone can off advice on other animals, please do make yourselves known.

Please don't get a pet and then lose interest in it a few months later :(

Agreed.
We have guinea pigs. I’ve spoken to so many people who bought them for their kids and now the kid is ‘bored’ so they want to rehome. Or they just leave them in a hutch in the garden in the cold and throw food at then occasionally.
Pets aren’t kids responsibility!
I’ve even had people say their guinea pigs now bite them and Guinea pigs do not bite unless very distressed. They are very gentle creatures. It’s because they never handle them and when they do they do it wrong and hurt the pig.

I must admit to getting very cross with a friend recently.

• She has just moved to a top floor flat so no outside space
• She is on end of her maternity leave unpaid part so money is short
• She will be back at work full time in a month so no-one will be at home

And she has just bought a puppy! Not re-homed one (as she knows damn well that no animal shelter would let her have a puppy!) but spent £££ on a pedigree dog??

Despite her asking my opinion - and that of other friends - and then totally ignoring us all.

Oh and she didn't understand why I don't want her puppy in my house. I have a cat who would be fucking terrified and don't want a non house trained animal in my house (carpeted through out!)

CountessofGrantham you’re looking at a minimum of around 80x50cm for a Syrian and that has to be continuous floor space. It’s pretty big! And the plastic ones, which are better for noise reduction aren’t great for hamsters due to lack of airflow.

Both of my dogs are rescues.

Both have been time-consuming, expensive and a huge tie. I wouldn't be without them, but having pets is a big responsibility.

My rabbit acts more like a cat, loves to be picked up, cuddled and stroked. Apart from biting through cables isn't particularly destructive either (although does wee on the floor).

I think she's happy, but still feel guilty because we just have one and she doesn't get as much attention from us as over 5 years we've gone from having no kids to two kids. So I still think maybe we shouldn't have got a pet.

We had gerbils years ago, I kept them in a huge glass aquarium and they had a fab time destroying all the cardboard stuff we bought in plus they couldn't chew on the bars or kick sawdust everywhere.

I just had to buy a freestanding wheel and use suckers to hold water bottles etc.

I am actually heartened by all the stories on here where people have persevered with difficult to settle animals. You are all amazing.

All six of our cats are rescues or strays. They all have back stories and some have had multiple homes. They will stay with us for the rest of their lives. Even the cat which pisses in the hall on occasion because I love her and she had a shitty start in life so I understand that she will always be a bit jumpy and wary and liable to just piss wherever she is.

I didn't realise cats purred when they are in pain! The previous occupants moved out and left their cat behind and we have taken her over. I confess to knowing bugger all about cats! Luckily, she is young and in rude health but that purring thing has got me worried now.

Cats have a high pain threshold so can purr even though they are in pain. HTH.

If I adopted a cat and it was behaving aggressively, I'm afraid I wouldn't wait a few weeks to see if it settled. I couldn't risk my toddler or visitors kids getting hurt. Same if it was pooing and weeing everywhere- I don't have the time or energy to keep cleaning after it, and would be afraid toddler might step in it. It's a major hygiene hazard.

Then don't adopt a cat. It's incredibly common for them to have a few accidents while settling in - we were amazed (and very lucky) that our first cat didn't, and our second did for a few weeks after we got him, until he felt more settled. And you shouldn't be leaving a cat alone with your toddler (especially a newly arrived cat) whether or not they seem aggressive. So do everyone - especially the cat - a favour and please don't get a pet that you know nothing about and see as completely disposable.

RedHelenB Thank you, a nugget of information I can squirrel away! Hopefully,it will be a long time before I need to use it.

@CountessofGrantham hamsters are not suitable pets for five yr olds at all. Of course at that age you don't get a pet unless you the adult want one aswell but even so hamsters are a poor choice for a small child. As has been said they are nocturnal and need big cages and they really don't interact very much with you and chances are your child won't see their pet for days (poss. Weeks!) at a time. I got hamsters "for my child" and whilst I loved having them she found them quite unsatisfactory on the entertainment front and lost interest pretty quickly.

We have just recently got some rats and whilst I am of course having to do the bulk of the work, 5yo is finding them much more entertaining as there's more to do with changing up their cage a bit each day, doing the food/water, making them toys and training them (they've learned their names already!) and cuddling them at play time. She can't wait to start teaching them tricks.

Yanbu. We were completely unprepared for our dog. We found her as part of a litter in a bush, umbilical cord still attached. All 4 others had died but one was still alive. We took her to the vet who basically told us she was going to die but did give us a free tub of puppy formula, a syringe and a few tips.

We naively decided to 'save' her. Hourly feeds, teaching her to wee and poo, she slept in my bra initially, or a hot water bottle box.

It was 4 weeks before we knew she was a Yorkshire terrier.

Training her was harder than saving her, I struggled to toilet train her and was in tears daily. I worked from home so having the time wasn't the problem, but I had to force myself to walk her. Also, as she was hand raised she had no social skills with other dogs and would regularly attack them if they sniffed her so we have had to spend a fortune on training classes to help her to develop some sort of ability to deal with other dogs.

She's five now, and We all adore her.
She can socialise well with other dogs, although I still keep her on the lead. She's fantastic with humans for obvious reasons.

I do think if I had known the work involved, I should have given her to the rspca, but I'm glad I stuck it out. Even if she does get in my freshly made bed, every single morning 🙄

I’m always amazed at people’s lack of research before buying a pet. Growing up we had everything from stick insects to horses. They are like children you can’t just have them and expect life to carry on as it did before. We are looking at getting a dog. Although we both had dogs growing up and family members have dogs, we have still spent the best part of a year researching breeds and breeders. Once we have the dog we are prepared for outlrclife and routine to change. We will be stopping our merlin pass for a National trust membership quite happily.

I have working golden retrievers and breed the odd litter (once every four or five years for anyone wanting to accuse me of puppy farming).

The darker colour of the working line has become very popular and as a result I’m often contacted by families whose lifestyle is completely unsuitable for a working dog. I am dogmatic now about who I sell to and I will meet people three or four times and check their set up before I sell to them. I will always refund and take a puppy back because for me it’s all about the dogs and I couldn’t stand the thought of any of my puppies being in a shit situation.

Then don't adopt a cat. It's incredibly common for them to have a few accidents while settling in - we were amazed (and very lucky) that our first cat didn't, and our second did for a few weeks after we got him, until he felt more settled. And you shouldn't be leaving a cat alone with your toddler (especially a newly arrived cat) whether or not they seem aggressive. So do everyone - especially the cat - a favour and please don't get a pet that you know nothing about and see as completely disposable

I've had 3 rescue cats in the past, they were all house trained, no accidents. A bit anxious at first but no aggression. My friend adopted a cat who never settled and aggressive and destructive- biting ankles, scratching, hissing, ripping up carpets, pooing on her bed! She sent him back after a week. I don't blame her!

Your dog is extraordinarily lucky you found her, @Turnocks34 . What a wonderful person to put some much effort into saving and socialising that poor pup.

Thanks for the thoughts on hamsters, much appreciated. I understand it would be me looking after it but it would be a shame if dd2 wasn’t able to interact much at all so we’re discussing it. Both dds have vetoed rats...

Can I add neither I or dh grew up with dogs. Just cats. Lots of rescue cats and heartache. We have our own 2 and and 3 strays who live in the wood shed. Dh cooks them chicken dinners every night with gravy as their teeth arnt brilliant.

Ashamed to say dh ‘promised’ dds a dog in their 14th birthday. Dds did research and found a yorkie.

Honestly and wonderfully she’s our 6th child.

It’s not research or time or energy it’s lack of humanity and decency.

A pet is like s child. Yours and you don’t send them back you work at them and you sort them

Oh don't start me. A friend had a dog never let off lead as she was scared it would run away, not neutered so frustrated and jumping everything, she said she couldn't afford to have him neutered, he got ill and she was moaning about the bills so got her sister on benefits to take him to the PDSA, turns out the poor boy had cancer and had to be PTS, she's on FB going on about her new puppy, if you can afford £££s for a pup you can afford vets bills.

We have two rabbit they do take a bit of work, they are one of the most neglected pets. Same with reptiles we have a rescue bearded dragon too, people buy them and get bored quickly.

Guinea pigs do sometimes bite when they are infested with mites. It is because someone touching them hurts a lot.

Yanbu I've rescued all manner of critters over the years and cannot believe how I'll thought out some people's choices are.

Rabbits are my bugbear. The number of people who laughed when I got mine a huge 6 or 7 foot hutch "rabbits don't need that much room!" Made my blood boil

Yes people think rabbits are easy because they treat them badly.

ZoopDragon, sorry but a week is just not long enough for an animal to settle into a new home (new owners, new routine etc). You can hardly say someone adopted a cat "that never settled" if she only had him a week can you?

Among the many rescue cats we have had was one that could be quite vicious. He was a large cat which made it worse. If I walked downstairs in the morning in a dressing gown he would attack my legs and would be biting and clawing. It really did hurt. I quickly learned to get dressed, preferably in thick jeans, before I went downstairs.

He would still sometimes attack. Usually me but occasionally my husband. He would sit on the stairs and try and stop you going past him.

I was actually scared of him at one stage but we persevered and he eventually became a pretty loving cat.

Neither me nor DH are the type of people that will give up on an animal. You don't usually know much about the past of a rescue so don't know what they have been through to act the way they do. DH has been bitten a couple of times over the years by rescue dogs, one bad enough to warrant a hospital visit.

Turnocks, that is a lovely story and well done to you and your family

CountessofGrantham

Gerbils! Mentioned upthread. Much more active/interesting than hamsters, you can keep them in an aquarium set up and watch them build tunnels. I'm sure I read somehwere they will actually use a tiny litter tray too (with sand in), and as they are desert animal they don't actually pee much (I used to clean mine out every 2 weeks, with hansters it was every week). They seem generally happier to be handled than hamsters too, and I think they're quite intelligent (mine had an escape commmittee... they would actually build stuff!)