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AIBU?

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Original poster

No one has loved you enough to marry you...

100 replies

Lakeplacid · 01/01/2018 15:04

Said to me by a friend of a friend, in what I think was intended to be s sympathetic tone.

I said I'm not really interested in getting married anyway, and that the success rate of marriage is so low I'd rather be happily unmarried. Which comment of course she laughed off Hmm

Everyone else stood there in silence. It was like something out of a Bridget Jones film.

A couple of days later I'm still stewing on it. Is this what people think of me? That I'm not worthy of marriage? I know when I had a relationship break up a few years ago someone else made the unsolicited comment that he clearly didn't love me enough to stay in a relationship.

Is it me? Or do I just know a load of basic bitches?!

OP posts:
CoolCarrie · 01/01/2018 17:10

Don’t waste your time on this stupid, thoughtless comment! You should have said you haven’t found anyone worthy of you, and don’t intend sell yourself short by just settling for anyone! Marriage certainly isn’t the be all and end all in life that some think it is!

buckeejit · 01/01/2018 17:16

Silly bitch. Hope you never have a next time but if you do an appropriate response would be 'what a ridiculous thing to say! Haha, my goodness you'd think feminism had never been invented to hear you. If I find someone worthy of giving my vows to, I'll keep you updated but I'm not about to marry just anyone just to be married!'

princesssparkle1 · 01/01/2018 17:19

@ohfortuna - absolutely! 👍👍

goodbyeeee · 01/01/2018 17:20

What a cow.

I'm in a LTR, not married. 2 DC. I'm the only unmarried woman amongst my close friends. I think they view our relationship as a bit odd and me as very odd as I just don't want to "be" married. I don't want to be someone's wife. I don't want a wedding or an "engagement". It was never a deal breaker for me. I don't need or want to be "chosen" by a man or "proposed to" . Its so passive and smacks to me of waiting for a man to validate you by deigning to bestow the holy grail of marriage on you. Bleurghhh. That marriage is somehow a goal that women need to aim for gives me the rage.

But that's just me! Appreciate others feel differently about marriage....but she's still a cow.

Leatherbatwings · 01/01/2018 17:27

You were far too sensible to settle for or pursue Mr Wrong.

I married and it ruined my life. I wish I had stayed single.

These bitches are not your friends.

Chartreuse45 · 01/01/2018 17:48

I haven't rtft but I would laugh a tinkly laugh and say "many loved me enough but not me them!" Hope you are feeling better, relatives and friends seem to think they can say what they want and cover up with I am only worried about you!

PuffinBadger · 01/01/2018 18:36

I bet the other people there thought she was bloody rude

Raisedbyguineapigs · 01/01/2018 18:47

Lucky she's a friend of a friend and not someone you have to ditch as a friend. One less dimwit in your life! I'd be telling your friend at every opportunity that you don't want to be invited to events with her stupid friends again though!

ChasedByBees · 01/01/2018 18:59

Did the mutual friend hear the comment? I wouldn't want to socialise with them again but you don't want to be cut out to avoid that. What an awful person.

BlazingPaddles · 01/01/2018 19:05

I had an ex's new wife, who I'd only just met, try and needle me by saying that 'James' clearly hadn't loved me enough to marry me. I was happy to inform her that 'James' had in fact proposed to me but I'd said no!

It felt SO good.

formerbabe · 01/01/2018 19:06

What a dreadful thing to say Shock

lakeg · 01/01/2018 19:08

Her statement says more about her than you.

The poor poor woman.

Please do wish her the best everyday she needs it.

rainbowduck · 01/01/2018 19:31

Blazingpaddles BRILLIANT!

greendale17 · 01/01/2018 19:36

Well all happiness surveys show that single women are more happy with their lives than married women.

^All the single ladies i know would completely disagree with this

princesssparkle1 · 01/01/2018 20:20

@greendale17 - glad to introduce you to one single lady who is extremely happy not being married 🤪😉

Raisedbyguineapigs · 01/01/2018 20:23

Well all happiness surveys show that single women are more happy with their lives than married women.

^All the single ladies i know would completely disagree with this*

I would suggest though that a lot of that unhappiness is because of the pressure women in particular are under to partner off by society, because of their biological clocks and the whole fairytale wedding/ princess happily ever after bullshit. Theres a reason why fairytales end with a wedding and don't bother with a sequel Grin

Coyoacan · 01/01/2018 20:40

@greendale17 - glad to introduce you to one single lady who is extremely happy not being married

And another

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 01/01/2018 21:07

I was once engaged and I thank my lucky fucking stars it went no further than that. I wont settle for some limp prick because society thinks a woman shouldnt be single.

comingintomyown · 01/01/2018 21:59

And another

Jassmells · 02/01/2018 00:00

Was she pissed? No excuse but what a cow.
My best friend has had 2 marriage proposals and still happily single as she turned them down. For all she knows you may have turned down several.

leiaorganashair · 02/01/2018 00:15

I am from a culture in which a huge emphasis is placed on marriage and motherhood and being a spinster is supposedly a major source of shame. I had my first child at 43, single, unmarried. You can imagine how much fun gatherings were over the years. Now I like to think I had the last laugh as a lot of my friends have gone through messy divorces. It worked out for me in the end, it just took a lot longer than I would have liked it to. It amazed me how many people felt they had the right to comment on my lack of partner when I was single. Some people have nothing better to do. Ignore them.

TeaAndToast85 · 02/01/2018 00:27

I bet she is jealous of you in some way (looks, £££, confidence...) and it was a pathetic attempt to make her feel better about herself. Clearly a self esteem thing. Who gives a shit was she thinks, nasty old cow xxx

RebeccaBunch · 02/01/2018 08:12

Frankly I'd pity someone who made such a comment. Imagine being so pathetic your self worth was tied up in someone wanting to marry you Hmm

user1497863568 · 03/01/2018 05:07

Noone has loved you enough to marry you? What a load of crap. People are hesitant about marriage for all sorts of very valid reasons.

Weezol · 03/01/2018 05:46

"It's a shame no one loved you enough to teach you how to conduct yourself in public"

Sweet baby jeebus on a tricycle, what was she trying to achieve? What an utter dingbat.

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