To end it for this list of reasons

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Dating for six months, both late twenties.

Initially I wasn't sure about him but friends and family really liked him so encouraged me to give it a go. I never got the butterfly feelings with him really. I'd say the time has gone Not sure > REALLY like him and want a future together > feel like I should end it. Basically one extreme to the other.

Lots of shitty things have happened over the months.

1. I've realised he has a very bad temper. Will smash things up, scream and chuck things etc. Has never lost it AT me per se but has shouted at me before. He's easy to set off.

2. His dad and I really don't get on. He's been rude and judgemental about me from day one. I really have tried so hard to get on with him but he has a real hold on all of BF's family to the point they're all scared to stand up to him (physically and emotionally abusive). If dad says something rude to me, BF will not say anything.

3. I don't have that 'This feels lovely and comforting' feeling when we hug or cuddle. I've never particularly enjoyed cuddling him - something doesn't feel right, even though up until a month or so ago we always had great sex. I've previously really loved cuddling and hugging my exes, and had that 'This is home' feeling with them.

4. He's insecure and needy. Very intense about everything - he's an all or nothing type of guy. E.G. If I feel suffocated and say I need space, he'll say he understands, and in the next breath ask when we can next see each other. If we're watching TV, I'll catch him staring at me and ask him to stop as it's awkward/makes me uncomfortable, and he'll say 'But you're just so beautiful, I could look at you all day" etc. etc. etc.

Despite all this he does his best to make me happy, is very generous with his time and money towards me, and is very loyal.

I feel like something isn't right but feel so guilty for finishing with him as he constantly says I'm his world, he doesn't know what he'd do without me.

Someone reassure me it's not going to magically get better and everything will fall into place like I'm hoping please!

You know the answer. Listen to your gut.

He sounds like a nightmare with more red flags than a red flag convention.

Relationships are supposed to make you feel better than you did before the relationship started.
If this isn't the case then it's time to end it.
He sounds like a bit of a nightmare too.

End it. He'll be just like his dad.

Do yourself a favour and start 2018 without this man in your life.

He sound horrendous and he's not going to improve. Run away.

Those reasons are good.

Any one of those reasons is good.

No reason is also good.

You can end it for any reason at all or for no reason at all.

He doesn't do his best to make you happy - he shouts at you and disregards your requests not to stare at you, just for starters. It doesn't sound like you love him, which is fine, but you should move on out of fairness to both of you. You don't owe him anything else.

If it feels like something is off then it probably is. Plus I could never trust someone with a violent temper.

I am concerned that you have to ask OP.

Do you have a history of relationships with men like this? Most people woukd recognise that none of this is normal or acceptable, which is why I think it's odd you have to ask????

Get rid. Now.

You can't stay with him because HE wants you to!!

I think you you should get out of there NOW. Ever wondered just how his father got control of everyone? Temper? Smashing things up? Hitting his children?! Sounds like your BF is heading down the same path. Cowards often have the most vicious of tempers. He fears his father but he doesn't fear you. Not hard to work out where you would be in the pecking order, and its not as his equal....

End it. No wonder you don't feel relaxed with him. He sounds angry.

The first few months are supposed to be fun. What do you think life would be like with him if you had a toddler and screaming baby? Would he protect them from his Dad?

I'd say if you've not got the butterflies now you never will and who wants anything less than that? Breaking up is hard but when you find 'that feeling' you'll know you made the right decision

Yeah I'd end it. Sounds like he doesn't enhance your life in anyway

Run! Run fast!

1 is more than enough of a reason. But you don’t need any reason at all. You’re not in to him and that’s okay. Be in a relationship you want to be in not one you think you should.

Any one of those reasons is good. All together and run for the hills!

I wish I'd listened to my gut with my ex when he showed me his temper, not directed at me, at least not until he'd worn down my self esteem and didn't feel I could leave.
It got much worse from there.

You don't need to make a list of reasons - or ask permission from anyone - to break up with someone. If you're not feeling it, then you're not. This guy does sound like a horror though. Will you be safe when you tell him? Make sure you have someone around or do it in public.

You don’t need a reason but you have plenty of bloody good ones. Run.

What sort of things does he smash. Nothing of yours I hope. Sounds like a spoilt toddler.

Oh dear. Your gut instinct is telling you something - always go with your gut instinct. Your friends and family don't see him as you see him so you don't need their advice or approval for whatever decision you make. Be brave and do what you know is the right thing.

I was done at reason 1 - the very bad temper. Run like the wind.

I am quite mystified why you are with him anyway- basically you don't feel snuggly cuddling him, he gets angry and horrid and your family pushed you to give it a go. Hardly love's young dream!

I don't think it was right at the start, and going on 6 months has just confirmed that. You should be falling more and more in love at this stage, and you aren't.

That doesn't make him a bad person, but he's not right for you which is why you feel so uncomfortable when he says how beautiful you are and how you are everything to him. He isn't to you. Get out. Your friends and family are nothing in this situation, they don't have to actually date him or cuddle him!

Thank you for these replies. It does help - I find that I constantly doubt if I'm being U or whether I'm going the right thing.

My friends and family no longer like him or want me to be with him as they've seen how he's acted.

Regarding what he smashes, it's things like his iPhone, he'll pick up tools outside and chuck them across the garden and shout etc. He's also lost it with his animals more than once (had a big argument about this)

I highly doubt he would ever hurt me and I've never felt in danger around him, his tempers just create an awful atmosphere.

In hindsight I wish I'd have listened to him after our second date, when he told me that I should know he has a temper. One of my favourite sayings is "When someone shows you who they are, believe them" but I just always feel like I should give second (and third, fourth, fifth...) chances.

It's hard because I can see he's trying really hard not to lose me which gives me terrible guilt.

You don't need permission to finish a relationship. If it doesn't feel right then that should be enough.

However on the basis of what you've said -

He's volatile and violent - he smashes things up. And yes he is violent; most people don't go around smacking things to pieces. This is a HUGE red flag as an indicator of future domestic violence.

He's needy, clingy and possessive. Another red flag which shows that this is a pre-cursor to control.

He won't step in and defend you against nasty comments from someone else - the fact that 'someone else' happens to be his Dad is irrelevant.

In your shoes I'd be running like my heels were on fire and my arse was about to catch. And I would warn you that men like this don't tend to take being dumped very well. Be prepared for a barrage of texts, emails, social media messages etc. Block, delete, ignore.

Trust your gut.