To end it for this list of reasons

[constantchange]

Dating for six months, both late twenties.

Initially I wasn't sure about him but friends and family really liked him so encouraged me to give it a go. I never got the butterfly feelings with him really. I'd say the time has gone Not sure > REALLY like him and want a future together > feel like I should end it. Basically one extreme to the other.

Lots of shitty things have happened over the months.

1. I've realised he has a very bad temper. Will smash things up, scream and chuck things etc. Has never lost it AT me per se but has shouted at me before. He's easy to set off.

2. His dad and I really don't get on. He's been rude and judgemental about me from day one. I really have tried so hard to get on with him but he has a real hold on all of BF's family to the point they're all scared to stand up to him (physically and emotionally abusive). If dad says something rude to me, BF will not say anything.

3. I don't have that 'This feels lovely and comforting' feeling when we hug or cuddle. I've never particularly enjoyed cuddling him - something doesn't feel right, even though up until a month or so ago we always had great sex. I've previously really loved cuddling and hugging my exes, and had that 'This is home' feeling with them.

4. He's insecure and needy. Very intense about everything - he's an all or nothing type of guy. E.G. If I feel suffocated and say I need space, he'll say he understands, and in the next breath ask when we can next see each other. If we're watching TV, I'll catch him staring at me and ask him to stop as it's awkward/makes me uncomfortable, and he'll say 'But you're just so beautiful, I could look at you all day" etc. etc. etc.

Despite all this he does his best to make me happy, is very generous with his time and money towards me, and is very loyal.

I feel like something isn't right but feel so guilty for finishing with him as he constantly says I'm his world, he doesn't know what he'd do without me.

Someone reassure me it's not going to magically get better and everything will fall into place like I'm hoping please!

Bloody hell no. No no no. End it immediately and don't ever see him again!

A lot of abusive people are lovely & all nicey-nicey much of the time - it then becomes confusing as you like that side of them & use it to justify to yourself why you put up with the shit.

Smashing things & cruelty to animals - just

He will have learnt his behaviour from his awful father, either that or they have the same personality.

You can really do without this bloke in your life.

Run for the hills. He sounds awful.

Bad temper = run.

My ex was bad-tempered although not violent, and I can't tell you how many family occasions he soured - even including flouncing out of my 21st party (his parents were so embarrassed). I would never have a relationship with a bad-tempered person again - especially one who proudly warns you about it so early on.

Agree with the PP who said he will turn out like his Dad.

OP, you're in the fortunate position of having seen what he is like before you've married him, bought a house or had a baby with him.

Don't lose this advantage by sleepwalking into a long term relationship with him out of a sense of guilt.

And next time, listen to every word and action from future partners. When you see a red flag, don't ignore it.

Run for the hills.the Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.run and don't look back.

Being bad-tempered isn't a character trait that people are stuck with. It's a CHOICE. People choose to be bad-tempered, they choose to be angry and abusive, they choose to upset everyone around them because it gives them control.

Don't give in to it. Don't give them that control by tiptoeing around them. Tell them their behaviours aren't acceptable and if they carry on being angry and insulting and aggressive, get rid of them. Or they will make your life miserable.

I didn't need to read further than number 1. I couldn't have a relationship with anyone who had a bad temper.

Just another voice adding to the chorus of

RUN FOR THE HILLS

You deserve better

You know what you need to do OP but please be careful how you do it.

Run like the wind!

No brainier. You are with the typical abuser and already showing signs of abuse victim programming:

He is horrible, you know it, but you feel guilty about leaving him, and is trying hard for things to work out and change when you already have the answer.

Leave ASAP, you have, at this time, the power to question his attitude and walk away. The longer you stay, the stronger the programming which will make it impossible to walk away even when he starts hitting you (he will, he is showing all the signs already)

he constantly says I'm his world, he doesn't know what he'd do without me
This is such a turn off. I wouldn't know what to do with someone who didn't know what to do without me.

Has never lost it AT me per se but has shouted at me before

They do this at the start to see how much you will take.

It will ramp up.

End it now, give yourself a nice clean break for your NY present to yourself.

I echo everyone else here

I got to number one and thought - run!

You know too. You don't owe it to anyone to be in a relationship with them

What would you say to a friend came to you for advice in this situation? Hopefully like everyone else on this thread you'd be saying to get out and get out now
Take care

Run for the hills and contact the RSPCA. For fuck's sake!

Run like the wind and don't look back.

Prepare for him not to take rejection well. Don't be alone with him when you dump him, make sure you have support.

Run a freaking mile. Faster than you ever have before.

ltb now

Why on earth are you asking?

I cannot believe you don't know what bad news the whole relationship is.

Do you think it would help you to see a counsellor at some point before you have another relationship?

A unanimous LTB. Everyone on here has said wise things - listen to them all!

And if you feel guilty about breaking his heart, look at it this way - your dumping him might be the push he needs to get some sort of anger management therapy. If you stay with him, he'll see no need for it.

Friends and family really liked him so encouraged me to give things ago

Why can't they go out with him then. Seeing as they get on so well with him

End it, if this is his best behaviour I dread to think what he'll be like when he's got his feet under the table.

The temper thing is a huge red flag. Run for the hills.