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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Roommates diary all about me

59 replies

Peanutbutter98 · 30/12/2017 10:36

Recently me and my dp moved out of our rented place which we shared with a roommate, and into his parents whilst we prepare to relocate for work. Roommate also just moved out and we had problems with him taking the internet box with him and leaving the place in a complete mess, rubbish everywhere etc.
So on Thursday we went back to rented place to clean up and when my partner was cleaning his room, and moving everything out, roommates diary fell out and opened on a random page, dp saw that both our names were mentioned and got intrigued. He shows me and well this diary is completely filled with things about me with events in it that never happened, it’s all about how I flirted with him and what clothes I was wearing and how I had my hair, this diary’s completely full and is a 200 page a4 notepad. I’ve never hung out with roommate alone and although i would be friendly and polite we were never friends.
I guess my Aibu is aibu to be so creeped out to find this book that’s just filled about me, about what I was wearing and things we apparently did together that never happened? I’ve started questioning how I act with people, whether if I’m too friendly or somehow give out mixed signals that I don’t know about, things I know I haven’t done but trying to justify why I’d have this whole notebook filled about me.

OP posts:
Hassled · 30/12/2017 10:40

You don't need to justify anything - and don't question whether you're too friendly; this isn't your fault in any way. The guy just had a massive crush/obsession that translated into fantasy scenarios of you flirting, and the fact you've both moved on and out is very positive. Just avoid him from now on.

MissionItsPossible · 30/12/2017 10:51

Because he's a weirdo. That's all.

LaurieF · 30/12/2017 10:54

Creepy AF!

Although I can't be the only person who isn't buying into the diary falling out and randomly opening on a page... 😂 in fairness I would have been tempted to read it too Grin

twattymctwatterson · 30/12/2017 11:00

Your story about how you came to read his diary is bollocks that no one is going to buy. He's creepy obviously but you're not covering yourself in glory either

HarrietKettleWasHere · 30/12/2017 11:01

That's a weird thing for him to leave behind.

NotAgainYoda · 30/12/2017 11:01

This is unbelievably bad

Original poster
Peanutbutter98 · 30/12/2017 11:08

Just want to clear up I’m not the one that found the diary, my partner did and showed me.

OP posts:
Nikephorus · 30/12/2017 11:14

Well I don't believe that the diary just fell open (Grin) but I wouldn't worry. Roommate had a secret thing for you, used his imagination to great effect and would probably be mortified if he found out that you knew. It's no different to having a mild fantasy about a colleague or neighbour - it's just he's written it down and as such has added a whole lot of description that would normally just be visual. I take real people and stick them in my imagination - it's very vivid (not like that, necessarily!) but it doesn't mean I'd even contemplate more than a chat about the weather in real life.

Pengggwn · 30/12/2017 11:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ReanimatedSGB · 30/12/2017 11:26

You were never meant to see it. Forget about it.

HarrietKettleWasHere · 30/12/2017 11:28

My mum 'accidentally' read my diary after it 'fell out' from under my mattress Hmm

It said I didn't like her and she was annoying and I her voice pissed me off. I was 14.

17 years on and she still brings it up as evidence I've always hated her!

Are you even likely to see this bloke again, if not then just move on from it. I still think it's a really odd thing for him to leave behind though.

LaurieMarlow · 30/12/2017 11:29

'Fell open at a random page' seems too coincidental to be true.

No good ever comes from reading about yourself in this way. He's clearly a fantasist and while I get that's a bit creepy, all you can do is distance yourself.

Emmageddon · 30/12/2017 11:38

You should never read someone else's diary. His ramblings about you sound like a harmless fantasy anyway, nothing to be alarmed about. But diaries are private journals, not for anyone to read.

MammaTJ · 30/12/2017 11:40

None of the events happened, so you have no need to question your behaviour at all! It was all in his head and could just as easily have been about some random person walking past him in the street, or someone who regularly serves him his morning coffee.

mrsBeverleyGoldberg · 30/12/2017 11:40

Shouldn't have read it. It is private.

PricillaQueenOfTheDesert · 30/12/2017 11:46

Thank goodness you’ve gone your separate ways, your old room mate is a weirdo. Don’t get too hung up on it.

Jaygee61 · 30/12/2017 11:46

I’m another one who doesn’t believe this diary just happened to fall open at a random page and your name just happened to leap out at your partner, without him having to look closely.

Reading other people’s diaries is like eavesdropping, if you don’t like what you read/hear you have only yourself to blame.

Zaphodsotherhead · 30/12/2017 11:52

Are you worried that your partner might think some of the things actually happened in real life?

If not, then just burn the diary. Flatmate can't have been that bothered or he would have made damn sure to take it with him (or burn it first). Or maybe he wanted you to find it - maybe to cause problems with your partner?

Don't blame you for reading it though. If he hadn't wanted it read, he wouldn't have left it behind.

Pouffealouffe · 30/12/2017 11:53

Has anyone else (other than OP's partner) ever had a diary fall open on a random page? I don't buy it Grin. Therefore I don't think there's much you can do, you can't confront him because it's private and you never should have seen it. Just try to avoid him from now on.

ilovesooty · 30/12/2017 11:53

Opened at a random pageGrin

Oh well. Eavesdroppers never hear anything good of themselves.

AskBasil · 30/12/2017 11:54

Whether the OP's partner accidentally saw the OP's name and read on then showed it to her, or whether she went in there with a magnifying glass and a Sherlock hat, is neither here nor there.

For those who are saying that it's harmless fantasy, there is no guarantee of that. It may be harmless fantasy, but there are enough men who have stalked and sometimes murdered women they are obsessed with, not to automatically knee-jerk dismiss a weirdo's diary as harmless.

I'd keep away from him tbh and not have anything more to do with him. Even if he's harmless, socialising with someone you know has or had fantasies about you so strong that he bothered to actually write them down, is a bad idea.

Dahlietta · 30/12/2017 11:54

Well, obviously it didn't 'fall open at a random page', but I'd have read it too, so I'm with your DP! Obviously, you're not unreasonable to be creeped out by it.

Katinkka · 30/12/2017 11:55

Pics or it didn’t happen!

Toohardtofindaproperusername · 30/12/2017 11:57

Ffs. What does it matter how the diary was opened on certain page. Bloke left it behind. Yes I'd be creeped out a bit too op and maybe now is opportunity to stop any contact with relocation etc. If he didn't have a a partner it was probably hard for him to share with a couple. I wouldn't worry too much for now... Just focus on getting sorted and moving away. Good luck. Hope you gonna find your own place! ;)

llangennith · 30/12/2017 12:09

If the diary was that important to him he wouldn’t have left it behind. Maybe you were meant to find it or maybe he realised it was an immature thing to do.
Either way, forget it and move on. No need to broadcast it or ever mention it again.

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