Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Roommates diary all about me

59 replies

Peanutbutter98 · 30/12/2017 10:36

Recently me and my dp moved out of our rented place which we shared with a roommate, and into his parents whilst we prepare to relocate for work. Roommate also just moved out and we had problems with him taking the internet box with him and leaving the place in a complete mess, rubbish everywhere etc.
So on Thursday we went back to rented place to clean up and when my partner was cleaning his room, and moving everything out, roommates diary fell out and opened on a random page, dp saw that both our names were mentioned and got intrigued. He shows me and well this diary is completely filled with things about me with events in it that never happened, it’s all about how I flirted with him and what clothes I was wearing and how I had my hair, this diary’s completely full and is a 200 page a4 notepad. I’ve never hung out with roommate alone and although i would be friendly and polite we were never friends.
I guess my Aibu is aibu to be so creeped out to find this book that’s just filled about me, about what I was wearing and things we apparently did together that never happened? I’ve started questioning how I act with people, whether if I’m too friendly or somehow give out mixed signals that I don’t know about, things I know I haven’t done but trying to justify why I’d have this whole notebook filled about me.

OP posts:

KERALA1 · 30/12/2017 12:14

You never read someone's diary. You are the one in the wrong here.

I have absolutely no sympathy with diary readers any issues caused are your own fault. Twice in my life I have been involved in the fallout of people reading others diaries (not me may I add) both ended extremely badly.

RavenLG · 30/12/2017 12:17

Fell open... bollocks.
Gushing about how amazing you are...

pastabest · 30/12/2017 12:17

I had a good friend at university who had mental health issues (quite openly and he makes good money from writing about MH issues many years later)

Anyway, this is exactly the type of thing he would do. He wrote pages and pages (bookfulls) about a particular woman in his course over the space of three years, what she was wearing, what she said to him that day and what he had interpreted it meant etc. It was quite obsessive, and potentially quite disturbing in places.

He is/was entirely harmless and I doubt the woman ever realised there was anything going on with him other than perhaps over friendliness. He would have been mortified if she had ever come across anything he had written though, even though he was quite open about it with others.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that yes it's probably a bit of a weirdy find, but it's probably harmless if you haven't previously felt particularly uncomfortable around him.

Winebottle · 30/12/2017 12:18

200 pages of A4? That's a lot of work. Are you going to give it him back?

I don't think it is that creepy really. There must be loads of shit going through people's heads all the time that you never find out about. If you could access people's innermost thoughts, I think you could expect to find much darker stuff than that. This seems tame to me.

Jaygee61 · 30/12/2017 12:28

It could be that this bloke is interested in writing creatively and was practising. They do say on creative writing courses to write about what you know.

silkpyjamasallday · 30/12/2017 12:29

As a PP said, I would be very creeped out and concerned about potential future stalking because of the level of obsession with you needed to write 200 pages of fantasy. I would think most people would be concerned that some creepy guy has been writing reams of stuff about them based on very few meaningful interactions. Just be thankful you aren't going to be living with him anymore, cut contact now. I'd destroy the diary too and deny all knowledge of its existence.

Nikephorus · 30/12/2017 12:48

For those who are saying that it's harmless fantasy, there is no guarantee of that. It may be harmless fantasy, but there are enough men who have stalked and sometimes murdered women they are obsessed with, not to automatically knee-jerk dismiss a weirdo's diary as harmless.
Yes but if he was that obsessed with her he wouldn't have left it behind - he'd be treasuring it and rereading it to relive the "times" he spent with her.
Some people on Mumsnet really do like going for the worst case scenario don't they?!

ruleshelpcontrolthefun · 30/12/2017 12:52

roommates diary fell out and opened on a random page, dp saw that both our names were mentioned and got intrigued.

That part didn't happen

DoculamentDoculament · 30/12/2017 12:52

Fell open....lol

JeNeSuisPasVotreMiel · 30/12/2017 13:12

Am I the only one who thinks it is weird that he was your ROOM MATE? As in, you shared a bedroom with him?

Or did you mean to say house mate?

AskBasil · 30/12/2017 20:42

Nikephorus I'm not going for the worst case scenario.

I mentioned more than once, that this may be harmless.

But I don't think it should be accepted automatically, that this is harmless.

It could be either harmless or sinister. Both possibilities should be considered.

ILoveDolly · 30/12/2017 20:48

Well I'd be creeped out, but its not a diary really is it, more like creative writing I guess its true you should never read people's private things. Burn it, and move on. But get your dp to do any future interaction with Creepy Room Guy, just in case he is a loony.

ChocolateRaisin09 · 30/12/2017 22:00

Are you sure it's not someone with the same name? If you didn't do or say those things?
Otherwise just a crush.

Anniethinggose · 30/12/2017 22:05

Cool story
I'd say it was someone with the same name if not of it rings a bell. I wouldn't give it a second thought anyway.

Straycatblue · 30/12/2017 22:54

Am I the only one who thinks it is weird that he was your ROOM MATE? As in, you shared a bedroom with him?
Or did you mean to say house mate?

I think this is an Americanism that has made it over to the UK, they use it to mean flatmate or house mate.

leftwiththedognow · 30/12/2017 23:02

This is so bad its possibly a load of actual MN shit.
But in case this is real. He may have fantasised over your and your DP's confidence/happiness and put himself there without any actual feelings to you. He may be gender curious and emulate you.
Diaries are there for a reason. You or your DP should not have read it. Awful behaviour.

Honeybee79 · 30/12/2017 23:06

Well, if you read someone else's diary you need to be prepared for the fact that you might not like what you find in there!

Yes, it is a bit creepy but hardly the end of the world. Just don't keep in touch with him if you're bothered.

InsomniacAnonymous · 30/12/2017 23:29

It doesn't make any sense that anyone would leave their diary behind when they moved out.

cottonweary · 31/12/2017 00:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anasnake · 31/12/2017 00:06

Bollocks

liminality · 31/12/2017 00:09

Definitely don't keep in touch. Maybe keep the book though in a safe place in case later on he tries to keep in touch or ends up harassing you, and you want evidence. Sorry if that sounds a little weird, no need to get freaked out, just take photos and save them somewhere so you have some evidence in case you ever need to prove it existed.
No need to mention it to anyone else though. As in, don't go spreading rumours about him being a weirdo incase it is all innocent.

liverbird10 · 31/12/2017 03:46

This is a steaming pile of horse shit isn't it, OP.

Basecamp21 · 31/12/2017 04:16

Shame he left it behind - it might have been the foundation of a the next Bridget Jones type novel. Most successful novelists have diaries/journals/drafts around. Maybe he went through a phase of wanting to write a book.

Seriously if he never freaked you out when you were living with him then this is almost certainly just harmless. The fact he left it behind shows it had little value to him.

LineysRunner · 31/12/2017 04:21

Right aye.

LoveProsecco · 31/12/2017 05:06

Flip

1 2 3