Midwife Consultant bully!

[libertysilk]

Expecting my third child, and, as I'm 45, am monitored quite a lot. I have 3 weeks to go. I've had a complication free pregnancy. Scans and tests all normal and within expected parameters.
Due to my age, I've been refused the option of giving birth in my local birth centre as its not attached to a maternity ward. I challenged this, and was booked an appointment with a midwife consultant.
She wants me to be induced at 38 weeks, due to statistics of women my age having problems. She keeps saying I'll haemorrhage or have a still born. In a meeting on Wednesday she took my hand in hers, and placed it on her stomach. Said she wants the best for me and wished me well.
My midwife has ok'd me for a home birth, and disagrees with the consultant.
I feel I'm being scare mongered, and bullied.
I'm part of a group run by a midwife and doula with 38 years experience between them. They support me along with my midwife, and say I am healthy and fit and perfectly able to have baby at home. They've said the midwife consultant is behaving professionally and is bullying me, and I should report her.
I'm in two minds.
I'm not naive, and will not put my baby at risk, but, this is putting huge stress on my pregnancy, including confusing and upsetting the father too.
AIBU to be upset?

your childbirth career - what a horrible term.

hive, some of your reasoning smacks of the reasoning used in the pervasion of symphysiotomies in Ireland.

The risk should only be looked at in the context of a child birth career if that is what the woman wants. Some women would take that approach, others would not wish to focus on anything other than their baby currently in utero. Neither are wrong.

With that in mind, sweeping statements like it's reasonable to deter intervention because of future pregnancies and a woman's whole child birth career should be considered are really inappropriate. Give the woman the information about the small but definite increased risks of section (and indeed of attempted VB) and leave her to make the decision based on the risks she feels more comfortable with. No assumptions about her future obstetric career.

Well done for taking into consideration all elements and not defensively ploughing on into a decision due to the reactions to your initial choices. Good luck with all of it.

isa
Absolutely. There are different reasoning - and it's up to each individual woman to choose. It's often why you get differences in opinion, aka the midwife consultant and community midwifery team.
Neither is wrong.

I haven't read the whole thread, but am horrified at what you have been told. Has your consultant at any point offered you any statistics to back up her scaremongering? I am currently expecting DC5 and was told by my consultant that the possibility of PPH 'could be as high as 50%. When I looked into the statistics from the RCOG for myself the risk of PPH rose from 6 in 1000 at 4th baby, to 8 in 1000 for 5th baby - a small difference from her version. I am continuing to plan for another HB. I hope whatever you choose is your choice and goes well. Glad you MW is supportive :)

eagle
Yes it's similar for me.
I was operated on without any indication, - I had signed for my waters breaking and c section if complications from procedure and he did a c section instead of even bothering to look or break the waters. He might as well apparently. Patriarchy indeed.