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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you shouldn't be allowed in to the theatre 30 mins late?

133 replies

MardyMarie · 29/12/2017 22:48

I took my DC to the panto today. There were two seats empty on our row and I knew it was fully booked so I waited 15 mins before getting new born DS to sleep; presuming the theatre wouldn't let people in any later and that those people may have been poorly. However, half an hour in a man and his son arrive and ask me to move to let them in. I asked him to go to the other side of the row as DS was sleeping but he kept talking and woke him anyway, before squeezing past and knocking my DDs popcorn out of her hands.

AIBU to think the theatre shouldn't have let him in that late as it's disruptive to both the audience and the performers? Fortunately I got DS back to sleep but that man disturbing us could have resulted in us having to leave.

OP posts:
LokiBear · 30/12/2017 00:04

I also do not think it's unreasonable to take a baby (providing that you had a contingency plan if the baby started to cty). I took New born dd2 to the cinema and bf her to keep.her quiet and there was no issue. I think yabu for getting annoyed that the latecomers disturbed your sleeping baby at a panto. Anyone needing the loo could have done the same.

WorraLiberty · 30/12/2017 00:08

Oh come on

Panto tickets aren't cheap and if your train is late, are you supposed to tell your children they'll have to miss the entire performance?

You know, the sort of performance that's full of noisy children in the audience, going up and down to the toilets all the time anyway?

It's not the bloody opera.

WyfOfBathe · 30/12/2017 00:08

A normal theatre production = everyone sits quietly, no small DC, no latecomers, all attention on the stage, "proper" etiquette

A panto = audience participation, sweets, glow sticks, kids going in and out to the toilet, excited/scared toddlers, delayed parents. It's delightful chaos (which foreign DH delegates to me Grin)

YABU because it's a panto. YWNBU if you'd gone to see a classical performance - but then ywbu to take small DC.

VelvetSpoon · 30/12/2017 00:11

Sorry no idea where the rogue are came from!
Just to echo earlier posts, people are vile. DS has been called a cunt several times when asking people to not take photos or video of the evening shows. They've had customers ejected by security after throwing punches. The FOH staff do their best - DS is only 19 but even so gets annoyed by badly behaved kids being allowed to stand up/ run about during performance (he has to speak to parents if this happens and half the time they look at him like he's mad). Not to mention the even worse behaved adults.

They also don't allow any food in the auditorium. People nowadays seem to think they can bring in what they like. He's had people turn up with a full Nandos or a KFC bargain bucket Shock

Hauntedlobster · 30/12/2017 00:49

Oh come on, why must we have an excuse for everything. If you’re half an hour late - no matter the circumstances- then no, you shouldn’t be allowed in till the interval.

I’ve been to some theatres where if you go to the loo you’re not allowed back in.

WyfOfBathe · 30/12/2017 01:06

I’ve been to some theatres where if you go to the loo you’re not allowed back in.

I've seen this rule at classical concerts and ballet, but do theatres really do this for pantomimes? You'd end up with 1/4 of the audience stuck in the foyer!

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 30/12/2017 01:09

YANBU. I am actually shocked that people think it's ok to arrive late and expect to be let in

It should be left to the discretion of the venue staff. At events such as ballet, opera, classical music it might be possible to allow latecomers to slip in quietly and stand at the back, failing which they will have to wait for a suitable break.

At a panto I really can't see there is a need to apply a strict rule.

greenlanes · 30/12/2017 01:16

I normally would agree with you, but at a panto I would expect a very high % of younger children. So there is likely to be a lot more coming and going from the audience. So I guess in that case latecomers are no different in their disruption levels.

And for those who have referred to the opera as being classical and should not be disturbed. You should have joined me in the cheap seats at ENO last month. It was the closest in 30 years that I have experienced opera as it would have been 200 years ago. Eating, drinking, talking, pushing = the noise level from the audience was very high. Not seen that before. I do think people have become more casual about how performances are viewed.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 30/12/2017 01:17

I've seen this rule at classical concerts and ballet, but do theatres really do this for pantomimes?

I have only seen this rule applied at ballet, opera, classical concerts and some, but by no means all, theatre productions.

I'm always stunned by the number of adults at non- classical seated concerts who need loo breaks during the performance . Does liking classical music correlate with good bowel and urinary control?

Musicals aren't my thing but I was surprised by the coming and going at a performance of Cabaret last month.

AnotherWorry · 30/12/2017 01:18

A normal theatre production = everyone sits quietly, no small DC, no latecomers, all attention on the stage, "proper" etiquette

Unless it happens to be the most expensive seats at Her Majesty's Theatre to watch Phantom then apparently it's time to have a chat and play on your phone. Angry

bruffin · 30/12/2017 01:22

They wouldnt let me go to loo when on of actors in Dreamgirls was taken ill and stopped the show for 20 minutes.

manicinsomniac · 30/12/2017 01:25

YANBU to be annoyed at the latecomers but I don't think it's fair that they shouldn't be allowed in. Tickets are expensive so nobody would be late without a good reason. It's just unlucky that the people who were late happened to have tickets next to the people with the newborn.

I am also a single parent and had an unexpected 3rd child several years after the other 2. We're theatre fanatics and I definitely didn't stop taking my children just because of DD3. She came to the theatre with us from being a few weeks old - I was just made sure I always booked aisle seats and was fully prepared to take her out at a moment's notice.

I would find constant toilet going much more annoying. I'm not a panto fan and fully accept they're a very different environment but I'm still surprised to hear it's so common for so many kids to go in and out - especially more than once and especially if they're (presumably) enjoying the show. I've only been on school trips and we make sure they all go to the loo before it starts and in the interval. Never had one ask to go in the middle.

MistressDeeCee · 30/12/2017 01:43

But in real life - as opposed to stroppiness online about the audacity of bringing a baby to a panto - surely most people would just think oh fuck it, and go around to the seats on the other side? What is gained by shoving past a family, including knocking older child's sweets onto the floor? Is it a "victory?" Is it important to win?

I don't believe in real life that most people wouldn't simply go around to other seats and have done with it, if politely asked to do so and it's explained why. No big deal, no need to respond in bully style is there. Wonder if he'd have done same to a single dad.

Rossigigi · 30/12/2017 02:20

Sorry I can't see how standing up caused your newborn to wake.

RadioGaGoo · 30/12/2017 04:32

A baby at a panto? Surely not!

It's a show for children. I imagine the crying of a newborn is no worse than the noise of obnoxious children talking and eating their way through the whole thing. Which is wholly expected.

MidniteScribbler · 30/12/2017 04:43

I don't believe in real life that most people wouldn't simply go around to other seats and have done with it, if politely asked to do so and it's explained why. No big deal, no need to respond in bully style is there. Wonder if he'd have done same to a single dad.

Because there is no reason to walk all the way back to the back of the theatre, then down the other side, disturbing even more people, when there is perfectly acceptable access to their seats. Even if it does going past the OP who thinks that she's in some gala box seats and shouldn't be disturbed.

TheHungryDonkey · 30/12/2017 07:34

As a theatre goer, latecomers piss me off.

As former FOH staff, the production company has a latecomer policy that FOH adhere to. This is always followed rigidly in my experience. Your issue is with the production company not the latecomer. Some companies say no latecomers until the interval or something like a scene change if the house lights come up.

Furthermore, if the panto was in a large theatre, they would have been directed to their seats by staff.

If you need to move because someone needs to access their seat then you need to move. I had a bottle dropped on me from a higher floor in one show. Blood running down my face, The four people next to me wouldn’t move so I could get out - panto too nothing high brow. So I ended up with a foot in each of their handbags and traipsed up the aisle with one around my ankle.

Just be a gracious audience member. It’s nicer in the long run.

Babbitywabbit · 30/12/2017 08:32

So your baby slept through all the singing, audience participation etc of a pantomime, but was woken up by simply being lifted as you stood up? Hmm

Couple of other points: as it’s a newborn, presumably you have very little idea of sleep routine and whether the baby would settle / how long it might sleep... so what did you intend to do if it didn’t sleep? Would you have removed yourself and your dd with ASD so she’d miss out? Would she have been ok with that?

Also what happened in the interval? Was your expectation to sit absolutely still with your dd and for everyone else in the row to exit without asking you to move? Because presumably if you’d moved in the interval the newborn Would have woken? Or did you expect to wake the baby in the interval and then get it back to sleep (even though you say it took 15 mins to get it to sleep in the first place, so it would take the whole interval to get it back to sleep, thus rendering it a pointless exercise!)

There seem so many potential issues about expecting a baby to not be disturbed for a whole pantomime, That it seems incongruous to complain about a customer wanting to get past

Babbitywabbit · 30/12/2017 08:34

Ps and what about the greater number of audience members who would have been disturbed by the customer going right round and entering the row from the other end? What if some of them had sleeping babies, or other issues which made it disruptive for them? You wouldn’t have known in a packed auditorium. Do they not matter as much as you? Hmm

LemonShark · 30/12/2017 08:35

You are so unreasonable that this has got to be a panto themed wind up.

crumpet · 30/12/2017 08:39

Latecomers should be allowed in to watch from the back until the interval, rather than excluded entirely, but shouldn’t be permitted to try and get to their seats mid act unless their seats are actually on the aisle in which case they can wait until a suitable moment to go to them.

LemonShark · 30/12/2017 08:39

lass " Does liking classical music correlate with good bowel and urinary control?" made me laugh! Good point. I go to loads of orchestral shows and you're so right, even though the audience is usually an older demographic nobody ever needs the loo!

LemonShark · 30/12/2017 08:40

I assume it's social pressure in action. Everyone knows you can't get up for a wee without disturbing everyone and ruining it for those around you at a potentially crucial point of the music, so people make sure not to drink too much beforehand and have a wee before the performance. I guess at other shows people don't care as much.

Devilishpyjamas · 30/12/2017 08:41

Normal rules don’t apply at the panto (but tbh you wouldn’t be allowed to take a newborn into most theatre shows).

At our large (1000 seat) theatre there is a sort of cupboard under the circle for latecomers. My parents used it when my son was in a sold out show & the Company hadn’t kept any tickets back for the families (it was a large part and the boys sharing the role weren’t told which performances they were doing until right before opening night by which time some shows were completely sold out). The theatre also puts latecomers in there - my parents were sharing with someone who had arrived a week late - they’d got the dates mixed up Grin I doubt they’d bother with that for the panto though.

JacquesHammer · 30/12/2017 08:42

I don't know why people are surprised at a baby sleeping through a panto. I started taking mine to the rugby at 5 days old. She slept through the whole matches Grin