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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you shouldn't be allowed in to the theatre 30 mins late?

133 replies

MardyMarie · 29/12/2017 22:48

I took my DC to the panto today. There were two seats empty on our row and I knew it was fully booked so I waited 15 mins before getting new born DS to sleep; presuming the theatre wouldn't let people in any later and that those people may have been poorly. However, half an hour in a man and his son arrive and ask me to move to let them in. I asked him to go to the other side of the row as DS was sleeping but he kept talking and woke him anyway, before squeezing past and knocking my DDs popcorn out of her hands.

AIBU to think the theatre shouldn't have let him in that late as it's disruptive to both the audience and the performers? Fortunately I got DS back to sleep but that man disturbing us could have resulted in us having to leave.

OP posts:
brizzledrizzle · 29/12/2017 23:28

Sparkling you are so right - I posted the wrong link Grin

Original poster
MardyMarie · 29/12/2017 23:28

So if I hadn't taken a new born, it would be ok to be annoyed by latecomers?

I'm willing to accept the consensus but I still think being that late is rude. I appreciate panto is more flexible but I have been to other shows there which have been disrupted by late comers and I think that after ten mins you should have to wait to a suitable gap/the interval.

OP posts:
MidniteScribbler · 29/12/2017 23:29

Your sleeping baby does not trump the rights of others to sit in their seats and watch the show.

Sparklingbrook · 29/12/2017 23:29

Is Gok Wan that funny? Shock

brizzledrizzle · 29/12/2017 23:30

Gok Wan is not at all funny

ILoveMillhousesDad · 29/12/2017 23:30

Well I kind of agree I'm afraid.

Not sure this applies in panto tho.

We paid a fortune to go and see Elf the musical and some people arrived late.

It was a proper treat and we bought stalls tickets.

The family who arrived late, were in the middle of the row, so during a song, there was about 10 people stood upright for a min, faffing about, taking their coats/bags off their shoulders. Settling themselves down.

I know it wasn't very long in the grand scheme of things, but it was a bit annoying.

WizardOfToss · 29/12/2017 23:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MardyMarie · 29/12/2017 23:31

I didn't say he couldn't go to his seat FFS. I just asked he go the other way which, in his shoes, I would have done upon seeing there were adults rather than children to disrupt without having to be asked.

OP posts:
AnotherWorry · 29/12/2017 23:32

I don't think Panto is the place to go and expect hi-brow theatre manners.

We had a toddler carried out mid finale this afternoon reeking the place out after shitting his pants.

Pantos simply aren't for the easily upset, or under 5s.

Hermagsjesty · 29/12/2017 23:33

I don’t think you were being unreasonable to take your baby. I think more and more theatres are doing babe in arms tickets.

But I don’t think it was unreasonable to let the latecomer in either. I think the standard thinking in most theatres is to let latecomers in during a ‘suitable moment’ so, not at a quiet, tense moment and ideally in a scene change or similar - and at a pantomime there’s so much noise and people come and go so much, the whole thing seems a ‘suitable moment’.

Anniethinggose · 29/12/2017 23:33

The latecomers were fine to turn up when they did, for the same reason you could get away with having a newborn at the show: pantomime is a much more informal type of performance than other theatre productions.

chocatoo · 29/12/2017 23:34

Actually I think if you are late you should expect to wait until an interval or at least a change of act before being allowed in. Why should everyone else have to be inconvenienced because people are late? It would be a pain to have to gather up bags/coats etc for them to shuffle past, especially for elderly parents and little ones. Get there on time or wait!

AuditAngel · 29/12/2017 23:35

No chance of a baby sleeping through our panto.

My husband also complained about latecomers being admitted yesterday, and we had no snow

LockedOutOfMN · 29/12/2017 23:35

MardyMarie
I didn't say he couldn't go to his seat FFS. I just asked he go the other way which, in his shoes, I would have done upon seeing there were adults rather than children to disrupt without having to be asked.

Isn't it much, much, much easier to walk past children than adults to get to a cinema or theatre seat? The children might well be sitting cross-legged on their seats so there would be literally the entire row clear to walk through.

Witchend · 29/12/2017 23:36

The way most theatres do it is they wait until an appropriate point you can enter. We went to see les Mis last summer. We had 3 trains cancelled and the fourth was running late. We legged it across London to arrive about 5 minutes after the start. I was really impressed with how they handled it:
There were places to wait and watch it on screen until an appropriate time to enter. And we entered during applause and were seated before it ended.

Fairenuff · 29/12/2017 23:37

So if I hadn't taken a new born, it would be ok to be annoyed by latecomers?

If you hadn't taken your new born you wouldn't have been annoyed because they wouldn't have woken him up. That was the whole story in your OP!

Sparklingbrook · 29/12/2017 23:39

If one of your other DC had wanted the loo, that would wake the baby too surely? And you would all have to get out of your seats?

Hauntedlobster · 29/12/2017 23:44

Actually no, popcorn was spilled too.

I think YANBU fwiw although your child sounds too young for panto.

ButteredScone · 29/12/2017 23:54

You have gone to the theatre with a baby - you presumably would expect to be let out of the row if you needed to leave. Why is it so different if someone needs to arrive?

Basically, you are expecting others to cut you some slack, but don't want to cut it in return.

alfagirl73 · 29/12/2017 23:54

The key thing here is that it was panto - not a normal theatrical production.

If it was any other theatrical show - a musical, play or whatever, then yes, I think latecomers should have to wait as it can be disruptive when people come in and out and it's a more mature audience generally. At a show like that I also get annoyed with latecomers and people getting up and down.

Panto, however, is a different situation. Panto tends to be something of a free-for-all - lots of kids who are going to be up and down to the loo, screaming and shouting throughout most of the show. I would have no problem with you bringing a baby (your choice) - I saw a lovely baby at panto the other week who was much better behaved than most people there and seemed mesmerised by it all. I do think, however, it's a bit unreasonable and somewhat unrealistic to go to a panto and expect the same level of quiet and strictness of rules regarding latecomers as you would at another production. There was a high probability you would have to get up and down a fair bit anyway to let people out to the loo and it was always going to be a bit of a noisy crazy affair.

While disruptions generally are annoying to performers on stage, in panto they're not so bothered and just roll with it because panto, by its nature, relies a lot on audience participation. I say this as someone who's best friend has performed in everything from west end to panto and in 2 of the pantos he's done the performers have come running into the audience chasing each other and climbing over everyone! Had you been at a different panto - you could've had that to contend with while your newborn was having a snooze!

I went to see my friend in panto the other week and had a kid swinging off the back of my chair and all kinds going on. I go to the theatre a lot and I only really go to panto to see my friend in it as I prefer musicals and plays... but when I do go to panto I accept that the usual audience rules do not apply and it's going to be organised chaos at best.

If the gentleman hadn't caused you to have to stand/let him past... odds are on it would've been someone else sooner or later.

So if it was another type of show - then yes, I'd agree with you re latecomers etc... but with panto, I think you just have to roll with it a bit and not be quite so unrealistic in your expectations.

opinionatedfreak · 29/12/2017 23:56

I go to the theatre a lot (once or twice a week) and I hate people being allowed in late.

Theatre etiquette is changing though - I've seen crisps being eaten mid act at the ROH (they just about got lynched). Endless eating, drinks in with rattling ice cubes etc.

Cute kids talking also seems to be ok as is ignoring advisories. I am still livid at the couple who took their fucking four year old to see the cursed child. She talked the entire way through it "is that Harry Potter?" The bloody booking info says kids over 10 only.

It is miles away from my early eighties bum on seat, don't talk, ice cream at the interval and if you arrive late you wait for the interval childhood.

Although I watched someone be absolutely vile to an usher at the Old Vic two weeks ago when they tried to stop them entering mid performance and the ensuing shouting match disrupted the performance much more than one person entering would have so maybe the staff feel forced into it,

Moanaohnana · 30/12/2017 00:00

Fine to take a baby, fine to be a bit late and occupy the seats you paid for. All fine.

Bowerbird5 · 30/12/2017 00:02

I think he was unreasonable not to go as requested but I don't agree about not being let in. DD and I went tonight and we had allowed plenty of time including enough time to have a meal prior to going to the theatre however there was a major accident and we sat for ages before I managed to turn the car around and go another route. Anyone who wasn't local may have had trouble knowing where to go and it was very, very dark. We arrived with fifteen minutes to spare and no time for a meal. You can't always envisaged these things and I would have been gutted if we hadn't been allowed in.

Batmanwearspants · 30/12/2017 00:03

wow at these responses. I agree op they shouldn't let people in 30 minutes late to the theatre

VelvetSpoon · 30/12/2017 00:04

OP yanb entirely u.

My DS works in a London theatre. They don't have a panto on but they do have shows specifically for children. Latecomers are not allowed into the stalls under any circs, and only into the circle at a convenient point in the performance.

Just before Xmas he got a load of shit from a group of carers/ children who pitched up 15 mins late and weren't happy they couldn't take their stalls seats. Fuck the disruption to everyone else they were more entitled to their 'better' seats Hmm

Latecomers should take their seat as quickly as poss. In this situation they should have taken their seats disrupting as few people as poss, ie by going to the other end of the row where they had fewer people to squeeze past. Isn't that what anyone would do?!

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