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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think he should just fuck off

85 replies

brizzledrizzle · 29/12/2017 12:47

I've been ill all over xmas, now DD is ill. The house is a tip as a result.

Dd's boyfriend is here, she's in bed ill and I feel like crap but I am now cooking his fucking lunch. I just want to slob in my pyjamas.

Surely he should just do the decent thing and fuck off home?

Rant over...he's lovely but I don't want him here right now.

OP posts:
Cantuccit · 29/12/2017 13:04

I suspected that I WBU.

No one said that. You're not BU for not wanting to cook.

Just tell him him you're too sick.

RhiannonOHara · 29/12/2017 13:05

Unless you're going to drip feed that he has no arms and legs then he's perfectly capable of getting his own food. Grin

Get a grip, OP.

Maelstrop · 29/12/2017 13:05

YANBU, tell him he needs to go home. Your dd needs proper rest, as do you. Why on earth are you making his lunch?

WorraLiberty · 29/12/2017 13:06

Am I the only one who wants to know what's for lunch? Xmas Blush

Namechangetempissue · 29/12/2017 13:07

It's not that YABU - you are not BUT you don't need to cook a lunch for him! How old is he? If he must stay, ask him for help! Presumably if DD is ill, he hasn't got much to do. Ask him to go shopping, hoover or make tea etc.

BulletFox · 29/12/2017 13:07

The cooking has already started, too late for that - but make him do a chore then send him on his way. Expletives optional.

EvilRingahBitch · 29/12/2017 13:08

He’s not done anything wrong - and surely most people would normally expect to cook food for a visitor to their home. Ignoring the “forthright” suggestions normally seen on MN, I’d have a quiet word with DD and say “your BF is lovely but I feel like shit and need some space, could you please very nicely suggest to him that he buggers off or you both go to the cinema or something? It’s not personal - I’d love to see him again any other time”

rothbury · 29/12/2017 13:09

I don't understand this at all - can you explain why you are cooking for him? Is your middle name Martyr?

LittlePaintBox · 29/12/2017 13:10

Just go back to bed after you've given him his lunch, and tell him you're not cooking tonight.

I assume DD is home for Christmas and has brought the BF with her?

It's unfortunate she got ill, but most definitely not your responsibility to feed and entertain him, if he's a grown up. I don't suppose he was going to turn down lunch if you offered it, though.

BulletFox · 29/12/2017 13:12

brizzle I know you're having a vent, but after lunch just say dd is ill and you're in recovery and want to get into your PJs, so come back tomorrow/whenever

Original poster
brizzledrizzle · 29/12/2017 13:13

I don't understand this at all - can you explain why you are cooking for him? Is your middle name Martyr?

Ha, no, no middle name here of any sort. I'm cooking for him because he's a visitor and because I'd rather do it than have somebody else faffing around in my kitchen. He's fine, I just needed to have a rant earlier.

OP posts:
SnowGlitter · 29/12/2017 13:13

I suspected that I WBU

Oh grow up and stop the martyring.

You are being unreasonable because you are pandering to everyone else and faffing around your daughter's boyfriend cooking him lunch.

You are being unreasonable for allowing that to happen when you want to do something different.

You know, I really must have been at the back of the queue the day "how to be completely passive in your own life" lessons were handed out because there is no way I would allow this to happen.

WorraLiberty · 29/12/2017 13:17

Why would making himself a sandwich involve any kind of 'faffing' and why (if you kept out of the kitchen) would it even bother you?

AnneLovesGilbert · 29/12/2017 13:18

I wish I could feel sympathetic. Sorry OP.

Do you want your daughter growing up to be a martyr?

BulletFox · 29/12/2017 13:19

Actually Worra I hate anyone in my kitchen! It's my domain!

BulletFox · 29/12/2017 13:19

Ok more of a squeak

WorraLiberty · 29/12/2017 13:20

It's just a room, BulletFox.

Do you feel the same about the toilet?

DeepanKrispanEven · 29/12/2017 13:21

Right, he's presumably now had his lunch. Is there any reason why you can't say to him that you really don't feel well enough for guests and are asking him to go home?

Rudgie47 · 29/12/2017 13:22

You need to spell it out to him.
Fred we are ill, after you have eaten you will have to go home straight away.DD will ring you in the New Year and you can then make arrangements to see her. Have a nice new year and send my regards to your parents.

BulletFox · 29/12/2017 13:23

Worra oh god yeah. I've always thought I'd be happiest dropped into a bunker!

Cococase · 29/12/2017 13:23

Unless your DD's boyfriend is a toddler, you shouldn't be cooking for him. Why on earth would you? If you're so bothered about him being a guest, why can't your DD do it?

FFS, why do so many women on Mumsnet martyr themselves for teenage or adult offspring and men?!

Original poster
brizzledrizzle · 29/12/2017 13:24

*Actually Worra I hate anyone in my kitchen! It's my domain!

OP posts:
Nikephorus · 29/12/2017 13:25

Do you feel the same about the toilet?
No-one gets to use my en-suite toilet!! But my kitchen - I'll have a cup of tea and if you want to make proper food that would be lovely too Grin
If DD is in bed ill then why is he even here? Surely common sense would have sent him home...

cloudyweewee · 29/12/2017 13:26

I'm with Worra on this one. What's for lunch?

coalit · 29/12/2017 13:29

My DD's boyfriend made himself something to eat in my brand new kitchen and burnt the worktop, so you have my sympathies OP.

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