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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holiday and GCSEs

63 replies

KM1235 · 28/12/2017 11:20

My ExH has booked a holiday for the may half term when DD will be just about to sit her GCSEs. AIBU to say that he should’ve booked it after her GCSEs?.

His DM and DSF have paid for the holiday and will be going with his DW and 2DD as well as my DD. My DD declined am abroad holiday with him a few years ago so says she’s scared to do it again but is annoyed he didn’t think about her having GCSEs.

OP posts:
PNGirl · 28/12/2017 11:30

I don't think that's ideal and it sounds like disinterest in the stage of education she is at.

Is it a beach holiday where she can take revision?

Angrybird345 · 28/12/2017 11:31

Bloody stupid of him! Does she want to go?

PostNotInHaste · 28/12/2017 11:32

Round here she would be missing revision classes at school during that week. Really bad of him to do this.

Rainbowmother · 28/12/2017 11:33

Is she likely to study while away or be distracted with day trips etc he may have arranged? He's out of order

takemycounty · 28/12/2017 11:34

Madness. I think you'll need to explain that the timing couldn't be worse.

Sashkin · 28/12/2017 11:36

I’d be saying no to that. Does he not care about education in general, or just not care about her education in particular?

dinosaursandtea · 28/12/2017 11:42

You'll have to refuse and tell him it's not possible. If he loses money, that's his fault.

OwlinaTree · 28/12/2017 11:45

It's one week. If she generally works hard and studies it won't make loads of difference. She could take some revision notes with her, but she's not going to be learning loads of new stuff that close to the exams.

TheFallenMadonna · 28/12/2017 11:48

The exams will have started. DS had more exams before half term than after. He would not have wanted to go away, although he did have two days "off" during the week.

TeenTimesTwo · 28/12/2017 11:53

Couldn't disagree with Owlina more (sorry).

This is bang in the middle of GCSEs. Yes she'll need down time, but also a chunk of revision for the last 2 or 3 weeks. There will probably be revision sessions running at school. Incredibly hard to revise on holiday while everyone lese is off having fun.

You can learn a hell of a lot of information over half term, easily enough to go up a whole grade in every subject still to be taken.

TeenTimesTwo · 28/12/2017 11:54

Agree, you also need to keep the momentum up. If she completely switches off it will be hard to get going again.

xxJoJoxx · 28/12/2017 11:55

Does the OP get to refuse a holiday organised by the NRP who has parental responsibility, and has booked a holiday during school holidays? I would think very carefully before issuing such advice.

Can you not discuss this with him?

TeenTimesTwo · 28/12/2017 11:58

My DD declined am abroad holiday with him a few years ago so says she’s scared to do it again but is annoyed he didn’t think about her having GCSEs.

OP should back her DD up in saying no.

k2p2k2tog · 28/12/2017 11:58

Far less than ideal. We've already decided Easter holidays are going to be very low-key rather than abroad for the next few years as exams will start so soon after.

Some parents though just aren't that bothered about their kids' education. I don't think OP is being unreasonable at all thinking this is less than an ideal time to be taking a holiday which would be far better postponed until the summer break.

Blueemeraldagain · 28/12/2017 11:59

The exams will have started. The AQA English Literature Paper 2 is on the last Friday before the break.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 28/12/2017 11:59

I disagree with Owlina too. I wouldn't even book a holiday at Easter because of revision classes either.

I'd say your ex is more interested in the holiday than his daughter's potential future. Let the rest of the family go, keepnher at home and take her somewhere when the exams are finished ( if you can afford it). It's before the end of term, so will be cheaper anyway.

TheFairyCaravan · 28/12/2017 12:01

When our kids did their GCSEs the school put revision classes on through Easter and Half Term. Neither of them would have agreed to a holiday anywhere, tbh.

I wouldn’t put your DD in the position of telling her father she’s not going I’d do it for her.

HighwayDragon1 · 28/12/2017 12:02

Her exams will have already started, and if her school is anything like ours there will be revision sessions all week at school that have proved vital to raising standards. She is nbu not to go, back her up, this could well damage her chances.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 28/12/2017 12:03

The timing couldn’t be worse. She will be half way through her exams and, if she is ambitious to do well, will not wanting to be doing anything during that break other than a carefully balanced programme of revision and breaks.

You should be able to access her exam timetable online now as long as you know her exam boards and her specific modules, so you can see where her exams fall in relation to the holiday. If, for example, she has one or more on the first Monday back, what happens if her flight is delayed or cancelled for some reason?

There is no way on earth I would jeopardise DS’s exams for a holiday.

frazmum · 28/12/2017 12:03

As others said exams will already have started. She’ll need to be doing full on revision that week and not be distracted. Your DD understands. Tough if her father doesn’t.

TheZeppo · 28/12/2017 12:03

Yep, but daft. The lit exams will be the week before that half term and the two Lang will be in the two weeks that follow.

A holiday AFTER would be great, and surely work out cheaper all round? Can you sell
It to him that way?

LegallyBrunet · 28/12/2017 12:07

My younger brother is also sitting his GCSEs this year. By this point the exams will have started and we have already been informed that the school plans to run revision classes during the half term as they have done in previous years. For this reason my dad- also NRP- is putting off going on holiday until my brother is finished his exams. Your daughter doesn't need to go on holiday, she does need to pass her GCSEs. I'd support her in not going OP.

Original poster
KM1235 · 28/12/2017 12:08

They will be off doing stuff as they have much younger children. I will talk to DD after about it. I know she doesn’t want to go but she finds it so awkward with her dad.

OP posts:
Original poster
KM1235 · 28/12/2017 12:08

There’s definitley revision classes here too as my DN has done them.

OP posts:
Kazzyhoward · 28/12/2017 12:09

Madness. That week is crucial revision time. We usually go on holiday at Easter but aren't this year as DS will be revising for his GCSEs. Even if she takes some work with her, realistically, she won't do much when there are distractions such as pool/beach, days out, evening meals out, etc. Even if she works hard usually, losing a full week of revision WILL impact on her grades. Revision is all about refreshing what they've learned over previous years and filling in gaps they may have missed or forgotten.