Holiday and GCSEs

[KM1235]

My ExH has booked a holiday for the may half term when DD will be just about to sit her GCSEs. AIBU to say that he should’ve booked it after her GCSEs?.

His DM and DSF have paid for the holiday and will be going with his DW and 2DD as well as my DD. My DD declined am abroad holiday with him a few years ago so says she’s scared to do it again but is annoyed he didn’t think about her having GCSEs.

If your DD doesn't want to go, then she shouldn't be made to - especially because it is in the middle of her exams.

However, overall, I agree with the PP who said: It's one week. If she generally works hard and studies it won't make loads of difference . Admittedly anecdotal, but I went on holiday for 2 weeks before my AL modules (one week was half term), and happily studied and revised by the pool and on the beach. The holiday couldn't be rearranged because it was determined by a specific sporting event that I would not have missed. It did not do me any harm at all - but I was the kind of person who studied well, and did well at exams. nerd, geek, boffin, etc

English teacher here. While I would encourage my students to relax to an extent during the May half term, as would most teachers I know, generally we mean things such as working to your revision timetable during the day, then putting the books away and enjoy and evening slobbing out in front of the TV with the family before an early night, or taking one morning or afternoon off meet a friends. We don't mean go away for a week on holiday, where (with the best will in the world) not enough revision will be done - most students wouldn't even get all the books and coursework/revision they would need in their suitcase!

Also, the revision sessions schools hold during that half term are vital. Not necessarily in terms of 'just' cramming last-minute knowledge, but also in terms of the confidence having the support that being with your cohort and teacher can bring with the "we're all in this together" mentality that you don't get if you're off on your own for that week.

Finally, I've had students go away for May half term, only to have a delayed journey back meaning they've missed the exam on the first morning back, or even a whole day of exams. The exam boards will not accept that as 'exceptional circumstances', by the way, so you run the risk of throwing away two years' worth of work for nothing.

Is it worth it for a holiday?

Does he want her to go? My ex has a habit of timing holidays in a way that means our DDs can't go. It means he gets to play the "I wanted to take them, but evil ex won't let me" card. He escapes any actual parenting and gets to play hard done by at the same time.

The not wanting to go and non-consultation before hand should be enough. I assume his other DD are much younger and hope when the time comes for their GCSEs he is a bit more thoughtful.

If she doesnt want to go AND its in the middle of GCSEs and you are also not keen, then too bad for him. He shouldnt have booked it without asking her first

MrsFrankDrebin
Agreed.
I tell my GCSE students that it is important to balance revision with relaxing and hobbies and they should aim for the balance by Christmas by y11.
I will do a revision session. They aren't compulsory but students say they feel more confident having the session and feel calm and confident going forward because it breaks the GCSE stress up.

I wouldn't advise a holiday because for anyone other than a conscientious student it will affect their final revision prep and for highly motivated students they are likely to end up more stressed thinking about what revision they should get done so are unlikely to enjoy the holiday.

It isn't ideal. DD1 did not attend revision classes during either Easter or the May holidays - they were optional - but she did revise very intensively at home and a busy beach holiday abroad with younger DCs would not help with that.

It’s not about “having a week relaxing” - the weeks booked is slap bang in the middle of the GCSEs.

I very much doubt OPs daughter would have a good time anyway with more GCSEs ahead of her.

Our school does supported study during this week. Your dd should not feel awkward telling her Disney dad no. He should feel awkward not thinking how important this time is for her and how much she would need time to relax AFTER her exams.

MrsFrankDrebin 's post is very wise.

Saying it's not ideal is a bit of an understatement.

DS1 really needed that half term: to rest, to get a second wind and to revise for the last dozen or so exams.

One or two days out might be beneficial at that stage but not a week away.

Very irresponsible of him. Schools will provide revision classes in every holiday from now until the exams. We are only going to do day trips this year because of them, until June.

The cynic in me is wondering if dad was banking on her being part of the childcare arrangements.