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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holiday and GCSEs

63 replies

KM1235 · 28/12/2017 11:20

My ExH has booked a holiday for the may half term when DD will be just about to sit her GCSEs. AIBU to say that he should’ve booked it after her GCSEs?.

His DM and DSF have paid for the holiday and will be going with his DW and 2DD as well as my DD. My DD declined am abroad holiday with him a few years ago so says she’s scared to do it again but is annoyed he didn’t think about her having GCSEs.

OP posts:
Iprefercoffeetotea · 28/12/2017 12:20

The only way it would work for me would be if she was doing a language GCSE, and the holiday was in a country where the language was spoken AND if she had done lots of revision for the other subjects beforehand.

May half term is the best time of year to go away, so I do understand why you'd choose that week - but not in GCSE year (though if the exams start on the Monday afterwards, how does it work in areas where they have 2 weeks off at May half term)?

Iprefercoffeetotea · 28/12/2017 12:21

PS what on earth is it with people who book holidays for other people without checking that the dates work first?

luckylavender · 28/12/2017 12:23

No way should she be going. It's appalling timing & will completely throw out any routine she has.

Original poster
KM1235 · 28/12/2017 12:34

I’ve talked to her and we’ve decided she won’t go. She’s said her dad told her she’d need this time to ‘relax’

OP posts:
tiggytape · 28/12/2017 12:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

swingofthings · 28/12/2017 13:55

Well her dad might have a point relaxing the week before, if she's done a lot of studying could be beneficial.

I took DD on holiday on a bank holiday in between doing her English Lit GCSEs (a year ahead when we'd been told they wouldn't do any that year). She got two As and has now got a place to study Medicine.

I myself went on holiday with my parents just before my A levels. I remember studying for 2/3 hours every day in the afternoon when people were chilling out, again, I did very well.

Is it that your DD really doesn't want to go, or is it you who'se put it in her head that it is a bad idea?

Original poster
KM1235 · 28/12/2017 14:00

It’s definitley my DD we hadn’t even spoke about it until this morning when she told me she was really worried about going

OP posts:
TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 28/12/2017 14:24

There will always be anecdotal evidence about how some people took their kids on holiday half an hour before the exams and they still passed with 47 A*s.

However, it isn’t a good idea for most kids. If your DD has made that judgement herself, then she is showing a great deal of common sense and maturity - good on you for supporting that.

swingofthings · 28/12/2017 14:29

very worried doesn't meant not wanting to. How is she doing academically? If she is struggling and you were planning her doing extra work that week, then fair enough, but otherwise, I would actually reassure her and tell her that it might do her good.

In the end, she should be able to have that conversation with her dad if she really doesn't want to go.

swingofthings · 28/12/2017 14:31

Theonlyliving, teachers at my kids's school actually say it can be a good thing and encourage it for some pupils. The benefit of relaxation and rest before demanding mental work is well known. What wouldn't be acceptable is taking her out of school in term time.

WhoShatOnTheCat · 28/12/2017 14:33

She’s predicted 5’s and above. She’s doing great academically but wants to spend this time revising. She told me she was worried about going I asked her why and she explained and then cried. In the end she said she didn’t want to go. She doesn’t want to have the conversation with her dad as she feels she will upset him.

It’s not extra work in that week it’s revision, at the end of the day it’s smack bang in the middle of her GCSEs. Will she get time to revis abroad? Probably not. She will not have much fun on holiday due to the worry.

WhoShatOnTheCat · 28/12/2017 14:34

Swing of things I understand what you’re saying but I know my daughter and she really doesn’t want this

gingerclementine · 28/12/2017 14:36

Don't let her go on the holiday. GCSEs are so important. He's a bit of a careless tosser not to have given priority to her needs.

AlexanderHamilton · 28/12/2017 14:37

I agree it's utter madness.

Dd sits her GCSE's in May. I have her timetable. All it would take would be a flight to be delayed & she could actually miss an exam. History Paper 1 is the Monday morning after half term & English Language Paper 1 on the Tuesday morning.

Stickerrocks · 28/12/2017 14:45

I wouldn't let her go even if she wanted to. It was very daft of him to book it. We aren't going away at Easter or in May because these exams are the key to everything. Once you have your GCSEs and move onto the next step they become largely irrelevant, but they are vital at this stage as they secure your place at college on whichever course you wish to take next. Make sure she isn't away on 23 August or for College registration days either.

AlexanderHamilton · 28/12/2017 14:46

My Dd probably will be going away at Easter (not abroad though). But May half term is non negotiable.

AlexanderHamilton · 28/12/2017 14:48

Is 23rd August results day? We may well be away then (in the UK) but I think you can results sent by email.

WhoShatOnTheCat · 28/12/2017 14:48

It’s her birthday in 23rd August so won’t be away for that

May50 · 28/12/2017 14:50

I would tell him she can’t go. I made sure my ExH was aware when he couldn’t go away last year for my DS GCSEs. He respected that for DS sake, and they went away end of Summer holidays instead.

Stickerrocks · 28/12/2017 14:54

Our school makes you collect them in person. Although they will post them out if you give them advance notice, they won't email them or give them out by phone. If you miss the day you have to wait until the start of term to collect them in person, which means you have also missed college registration and may not get a place on your preferred course.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 28/12/2017 14:56

Theonlyliving, teachers at my kids's school actually say it can be a good thing and encourage it for some pupils. The benefit of relaxation and rest before demanding mental work is well known.

Most teachers encourage a balance - a timetable of revision and relaxation in that period during exams. So I have had conversations with anxious students where I have told them that the most beneficial thing they can do on the evening before an exam is to go out for a long walk, go to the gym, go for a swim. Stepping away from the books for fresh air and exercise is crucial. I don't know that many teachers, on the other hand, who would encourage students to go away on a family holiday for a whole week in the middle of the exam period - especially with the possibility of flights being delayed or cancelled.

MaisyPops · 28/12/2017 14:56

The may/june half term isn't before GCSEs. It is slap bang in the middle of them.

He's a bit of an idiot to have booked that holiday. Probably should have paid a bit more attention to his child's education.

bengalcat · 28/12/2017 14:56

No - main reason being she sensibly doesn't want to go . What a dick for booking /paying without asking . GCSE s must come first - the best grades / education she can get will give her choices for how her immediate future evolves .

ThePinkOcelot · 28/12/2017 15:04

My dd did her gcse’s last year. No way would we have gone in holiday then. Like pp’s have said, there was revision sessions at school. Bad timing definitely.

AlexanderHamilton · 28/12/2017 15:04

**Today 14:54 Stickerrocks

Our school makes you collect them in person. Although they will post them out if you give them advance notice, they won't email them or give them out by phone. If you miss the day you have to wait until the start of term to collect them in person, which means you have also missed college registration and may not get a place on your preferred course.**

Ah,ok.

Dd is a day student at a specialist boarding school whose students are scattered across the UK & abroad so I guess it's a bit different. Registration at the type of colleges they are going onto will be the first day of term.

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