To ask you to share your childbirth experiences?

[xoguineas]

First time mum due on the 18th Jan and would love to hear all the good, bad and gory details

My first I woke up at 6am with regular contractions, mild but less than five minutes apart. It was off putting as I had been told five minutes apart meant birth was soon. I spent the day feeling sorry for myself and resting. Then that night we decided to get checked. I was only 2cm but fully effected. Went home till my waters broke a couple hours later. Still only 2cm, but they took pity on me. Two hours later I was pushing and a little later there she was. She came out in one contraction! No crowning, just in then out. It was very calm and relaxing, mostly super exciting.

Ds was a different story. At 39 weeks I had a migraine. By the night I was vomiting and it hurt so much I thought I would die. I was rushed to hospital and told I had preeclampsia and would be induced by drip during morning rounds. I spent ages at 2cm, but dilated to 9 within five minutes. But due to poor positioning I needed forceps. But they gave me a lovely epidural and honestly it was fine. My recovery was painless and I healed really well.

September if all goes well. I'll be doing it again!.

DS1 - born at 39+3, 7lb 8oz. Started having contractions mid morning, managed them with a TENS machine as they got more intense through the day. Went to hospital at 10pm-ish when they were every two minutes and were getting very painful. Waters broke in reception at the hospital. Was examined and found to be 6cm. Went to fully dilated with assistance of gas and air over the course of the next hour or so. 18 minutes of 'pushing' although I never consciously pushed; my body more sort of expelled him! Big 2nd degree tear with lots of stitches but it all healed fine. We went home the following day.

DS2 - born at 38+2, 6lb 9oz. Started having contractions at 5pm, they felt like backache which was very different to DS1's labour. Went to hospital at 10pm as they were very sore only to be told I was just 2cm dilated and baby was back to back hence the pain. Two hours walking around the hospital and I was still 2cm so they sent me home for the night. Got home, almost immediately contractions became very, very painful and close together. Told DH we needed to go back to hospital as I was feeling the urge to push. Waters broke in the car on the way; barely got to hospital, through to the unit, got on the bed, two pushes and DS shot out! No stitches needed but we had to stay in for a few days as he was a bit jaundiced and jittery. Recovery for me was so quick!

1st birth. Labour took 10 hours, 9 lb baby. Had pethidine and gas and air. Had stitches which got infected and took a while to heal (that was the only bad bit)
2nd birth - 4 hour labour, 7 llb 6 oz baby, no stitches. Gas and air.
3rd labour - 2 hours labour, home delivery. Baby was 7 llbs 12 oz. No stitches, gas and air.
All my births were quick and straightforward and I recovered quickly with no problems.

DS1 - 4 days early, 17 hour labour , 7lbs, 6 ozs.
DS2- 17 days late, induced then emcs , 9lbs.
DS3 - 4 days over, 4 hour labour , 9lbs.

No tears that needed stitches with the vaginal births and I recovered very quickly from the c-section.

DS1 got stuck after long labour, loads of horrible tests, no pain relief while 2 Drs talked at length in the corner about options, had to I've permission for forceps or a c-section and in the end they went with a c-section under spinal. A c-section takes ages longer than you see on TV - takes them a while to check they haven't cut anything important and stitch you up/clean you up after. Midwives hilariously kept asking if I wanted to hold him despite only having my weak hand and about 4 inches of chest free on which to attempt to balance a 9lb 11oz baby. I refused. Daddy had first cuddles. I was on pain killers for about 10 days and my memories of first days of DS are not very clear. DS also wasn't well although nothing major, just affect of getting wedged in and pulled out!

DS2 - supposed to be a monster baby but ended up only 9lb, born by ventouse so again needed a Dr to deliver - my births were very much team events and certainly helped get over any embarrassment i had about discussing anything medical with complete strangers. I lost slightly more than ideal amount of blood, needed iron drip, not well managed and very poor post natal care so ended up in hospital longer with DS2 than DS1.

PLEASE have someone with you every minute they are allowed to be there while you are in hospital. I was allegedly at one of the best maternity units in the country and they thought nothing of leaving me alone for hours with a newborn while anaemic (they told me not to get out of bed incase I fainted!) with no food or water, with an old drip and a catheter in. I burst into tears when someone finally arrived (Dr on their rounds.) They knew my husband had gone to look after older DS, and that I had lost blood and wasn't very well, but I wasn't checked on at all. The midwife who should have been checking on me told me she was doing paperwork instead because they needed to clear beds. And that I should have just got my own water from the jug across the room.

In my experience - care in labour is great - both ante natal and post natal care are not good as understandably they are focusing their limited funds on the women in active labour at the time. If you want care in hospital, you need to take it with you.

Contractions started at 5 pm on the Wednesday. They were awful but 10 mins apart till about 8 Am the next day. Went to hospital as contractions were 3 mins apart but only 3 cm dilated, they didn’t send me home though just to a side room, 5 hours later 4 cm dilated and admitted. Then nothing happened for ages so they broke my waters which just made contractions worse. A few more hours pass, I beg for epidural but am not dilated enough. Finally they say yes but faff around so much by 10.20 pm am 1cms and have to push, he comes out pretty quick, 3 stitches. Only used gas and air. The pushing stage is easy compared to labour... was in labour 29 hours, baby boy 7lbs 9 oz

Just so you hear various experiences. Both my births were positive experiences despite not everything going to plan.

I did hypnobirthing btw and I cant recommend it enough. Its nothing mystical just a v useful pain management technique...calm/ meditative focus that is helpful whatever happens with your birth.

My first i even got sent home from hospital despite v painful contractions as I wasnt dilated enough - instead of freaking out O lay on my sofa drinking coke and pressing hot water botles hard onto my stomach ( really helped!) While going into a sort of trance listening to my birth music.

I got back to hospital and went into the birth centre - got on the gas and air and felt really safe peaceful and happy despite intense contractions. Labour was long as expected but the hot birth pool was great.

Pushing was not fun and my son got stuck with doctors running along the corridor to pull him out - however the whole experience pain and akl was fascinating moving and incredible!!

Second birth was easier quicker and only felt severe pain in the final stage...could have done it at home..wish I had!

Just to add gas and air was enough for me both times..its painful but you know the pain has a purpose!

Went in for induction at 37+5, spend 48 hours waiting for the propess pains to turn into proper labour, never happened so had a section at 38 weeks. It was fine, I was dead scared of the spinal but had nothing to worry about. Best day of my life it was.

Your birth partner needs to strongly advocate for you. I had an awful experience, but it was made much worse by my ExH who did not advocate for me and acted like a wet weekend.

18hr labour - contractions that went from 1 every 8mins to 1 every minute within an hour of starting and stayed that way to the end.

The Dr telling me that not only had i torn, but the birth canal was 'shredded' and proceeded to poke about without numbing the area for a good 5 mins before numbing and stitching and not warning me before sticking a painkilling supository up my arse

The worst bit was having a Zen midwife - dont get me wrong she was lovely, but i dont want to hear about the "magical beautiful experience" that is childbirth when im trying to squeeze one out of a tiny hole. The second midwife i had was a straight talker ans suited me much better!

And in contrast to @vj32 I couldn't have been better looked after. There were midwives and HCAs at my beck and call constantly, the surgeon who did my section called with me a couple of times a day and there was even a paediatrician sat at the nurses station just at the entrance to the ward.

Don't be afraid!

First time I was so terrified expected the worse had only heard horror stories except for one lady at work who said she enjoyed hers which I found bizarre but it was surprising manageable pain wise and time went weirdly fast- waters broke at teatime and dd was born 11.52 next day but felt much quicker than that, I needed to be cut and had stitches which was fine at the time very sore after.
With ds I was induced which was fine and that worked first time, fantastic midwife stated by my side the whole time. The worse part was when I started being sick which I hate but fab midwife was on the case and gave me some to stop the sickness ds was born shortly after.

First baby. Induced at 38 weeks for gestational diabetes, so in hospital delivery room with insulin drip and a hell of a lot of monitoring.

3 pessaries and 24 hours for them to be able to manually break my waters at 9am. Evil syntocin drip to get contractions going 10am. Managed 4 or 5 hours on gas and air then back-to-back contractions and back labour and only being 3cm at that point had me requesting an epidural. First epidural failed, had it replaced - second time's a charm and it was bliss. Snoozed for a few hours until fully dilated 8pm. Left to snooze another hour, instructed to start pushing at 8:50pm, 8lb 8oz DD born at 9:10pm. It took a while to deliver the placenta and I was given another drip of something to assist with that. Had a 2nd degree tear and a minor PPH but felt no ill effects from either afterwards (they did a great job with the stitches).

Overall it seemed like a positive experience, and I wouldn't hesitate to have an epidural if I was being induced again. Being hooked up to 2 drips with a canula in my hand and monitors round my waist meant I could never get comfortable or change positions enough to manage the pain without some help. I think the pushing stage was so easy because by that point I was completely relaxed, in no pain and just did exactly what the midwife instructed me to do.

Number 1 I was in established labour for around 24 hours . Started off in midwife led unit , ended up in main hospital part with epidural . Had failure to progress at 8cm so had a c section .
Number 2 was in early labour for 3 days . When I was in established labour it was around 10 hours and gave birth naturally . Did have epidural again .

@haveacupofteaandamincepie

I wouldn't say be afraid, just be prepared. I know I was unlucky to have two births weekends when the hospital was pretty much full, but it happens a lot. You need to take food, water, money, and help to hospital all to make things easier and less stressful. Oh and if you are offered pain killers, take them, even if you are not sure you need them yet. Because when you do need them later there may not be a qualified member of staff who is allowed to give them to you, and then you end up waiting for a long time in pain.

I am incredibly grateful for the care I got in labour - I have no illusions that in previous generations I would probably have died during my first birth and my son with me. I just don't think it does anyone any good to ignore the difficulties either.

@vj32 thanks for being so honest. At one of my antenatal classes the midwife also said that labour is great for care but once you go back to the postnatal ward and your partner goes home, you're alone and better off being at home basically!

You really do not want to hear the bad. Nor do you want to know the good either.

Good luck!

First was absolute hell. 30 hour labour, hospital kept sending me home when I was in desperate need of pain relief. Eventually the shifts swapped over and when i rang they told me to come straight up and they admitted me. I at that stage refused to answer any questions until I got some form of pain relief so they have me diamorphine and gas and air which helped a little bit but I was still in agony. Arranged an epidural and everything was great after that. I got a weird feeling as if a balloon was blowing up between my legs and DH and midwives all laughed at me. I was worried it may be babies head and they told me not to be silly, though did not check Shift changed again and I told new midwive about the balloon feeling, she checked and yes, it was babies head. All systems go soon after, but did end up needing an episiotemy and get the forceps out (which scared the shit out of me, the size of them!) and they did need to use them. Only about 5 mins or so pushing, then DD was here. I lost a lot of blood though and she also had to go on a heater thing.

DS it was so smooth I was shocked. After first experience I was so scared it would happen again but waters went, contractions were pretty mild. Went in, they admitted me straight away as the pad I had on had some green on it so they said baby had shat inside me. Gas and air again, I asked for diamorphine not so much for the pain but for the nice feeling By the time they came with it though pain levels were up so I was glad I had asked earlier. 2 mins pushing he was here. No interventions needed and no epidural. I lost a lot of blood again though. Went into the shower soon after having him and a giant clot..larger than a football came out. Poor person who had to tidy that up..I was apologizing none stop but she said its all fine, apparently its quite normal.

In short, first labour was hell, second was as smooth as possible.

I was in hospital with all 3 due to complications.1st induced in morning, waters broken at noon baby born by forceps just before midnight. Followed by 2 day coma due to iron count collapsing. 2nd no one was in labour word so they sent me down to be induced, was already 7 cms dilated. No real pain at any stage. 3rd failed induction so doc said one last go and if nothing happens we'll give you a section tomorrow. That was 11am, contractions were coming thick and fast by 1 pm daughter arrived at around 3 pm.

At my six week check my obstetrician told me it was too dangerous for me to have another baby and he wanted me to be sterilised to make sure.

Two back to back babies. First was a very slow labour, I took medical advice and had a mobile epidural as it was going on and the midwife was worried I'd need an emcs (I had hypertension and pre-eclampsia diagnosed at the 11th hour). Mobile epidural reduced the pain and I delivered in a darkened room at 2.16am. I felt like a fricking legend. I had a retained placenta that had to be manually removed, but the epidural ensured I didn't feel anything. I was up an in the shower and hour later. The second, I was induced due to reduced foetal movements on my due date. I'd already had a small show and if been having contractions so the pessary sped things up and it was a very short labour in the end. They inserted it at 11am, telling me they'd check me in 24 hours. I went for a walk, had some lunch, contractions came thick and fast and by 2.30 they were breaking my waters and moving me to delivery. I laboured on all fours without pain relief (I had gas and air but didn't really use it.) All was going ok until dd2s heart rate dropped. They flipped me onto my side and I pushed with everything I had. She had the cord wrapped around her neck and had to be resuscitated. The midwives were amazing. They were so calm, even when she wasn't breathing. They got her breathing within a minute but was the worst minute of my life. I was far more traumatised by that than the labour. The pain is painful but a tooth abcess is worse imo. Once dd was breathing, I felt like a legend. Honestly, its fine. Listen to your midwives. Grunt, scream, moo and then forget all about it the second that lovely baby is in your arms. Oh, and have whayever pain relief you want. The prize is the same either way.

@AhhhhThatsBass yes me, as mentioned earlier on in this thread. Do you want to know the gory details?

My two are early 30s. Both births were amazing - highlights of my life. I'd do it again in an instant if I could.

You'll be fine. Take advice from the medics, don't be too fixed on a birth plan, take any drugs you're offered.

My top tip - if breastfeeding doesn't work, don't beat yourself up. There are loads of ways to be good parents. Medics won't encourage you to stop (I think perhaps they're not allowed to?), but if you make that decision then they won't judge you for it

C section at 34 weeks due to pre eclampsia. All I had to do was lie there ... Baby now at 2ndary school! :)