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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is DH staying upower til 530 reasonable?

67 replies

Lisaf2015 · 27/12/2017 06:22

I'm booked in for c section on 3rd Jan...tho that doesn't mean baby won't make an appearance early 😉 we have a 27 month DS and live out in the sticks....currently (but that's a whole different thread!)
If I was to go into labour it's an hours drive to hospital.....we were meant to be driving there tomorrow as haven't actually been to see where it is yet, then doing a little shopping as we've friends popping over and we need a xmas gift....just in case! Lol
Anyway, DH has a "games room" as he collects retro video games etc.....and tonight it's got to 530am and he's still in there drinking ! I've been awake since 3 cos I'm so uncomfortable, with baby kicking, needing to wee, cramp etc.....I can't sleep 😣
After arguing that it's unreasonable to still be up drinking at 530 blah blah....I've been in tears for last hour and am on the sofa. He's gonna be still over the limit to drive anywhere tomorrow morning so that's pissed me off.....plus even tho I've had no sleep - and not through choice like him, I'll be the one having to get up with DS 😣

Is he or am I being unreasonable...plus theres the whole what if I went into labour??

OP posts:
Mxyzptlk · 27/12/2017 06:24

He's unreasonable and selfish.

Crowdo · 27/12/2017 06:25

Apologies, OP. But it doesn't really sound like much of a big deal to me. I do understand how upsetting it can be in late pregnancy when everything isn't 'just so' though. Look after yourself!

LolitaLempicka · 27/12/2017 06:29

Why don't you drive there?

icklekid · 27/12/2017 06:29

Up all night drinking so he can't look after his son when his wife is heavily pregnant is definitely a big deal. I would be cross. His choice to stay up fine but he's messed up everyone's plans for the day by not being able to drive! Hope you can make nice alternative plans.

WheresYouWheelieBin · 27/12/2017 06:29

Very unreasonable. If you’re weren’t pregnant and didn’t have a child, then it wouldn’t be such a problem. Factoring both of those into the situation, and given your plans (particularly the bit where you’re driving to see where the hospital is for the first time this close to your c-section date) I think it’s really unfair for your DH to sit up until 5:30am drinking and gaming, effectively writing himself off for the day and leaving everything up to you.

MagicFajita · 27/12/2017 06:31

He's unreasonable.

Does he have form for being selfish or is this a one-off?

AnnaT45 · 27/12/2017 06:33

I would be cross too. Is he getting it out of his system before baby comes maybe?

RadioGaGoo · 27/12/2017 06:37

On MN you are perfectly unreasonable to expect any help from your DH, particularly with other DC during late pregnancy. Plenty on MNetters have easily handled everything on their own, follow their shining example. God forbid you if you don't let your DH do whatever he wants these last few days during your pregnancy because, bless him, it's going to be the last time EVER. Anything else is just controlling behaviour from you Grin

yippyyappy · 27/12/2017 06:39

Good lord. Yes he's being unreasonable. Only on mn would people say otherwise! Hmm

Original poster
Lisaf2015 · 27/12/2017 06:41

Lolita- if I wasn't 9 months pregnant I would drive , but as I'm sure u know/or can imagine - it's too uncomfortable right now to drive 2 hours.
I know it's Xmas etc....he's stayed up til 2/3 am for the last 3 nights.... promised he'd stop drinking from boxing day just incase anything happens....we shall see.
But 530?! That's not on... he'll want to sleep til lunchtime which won't give us time to go out and be back for friends coming.
I'm just utterly fed up 😣

OP posts:
Howlongtilldinner · 27/12/2017 06:41

radiogagoo...ShockGrinShockGrin

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/12/2017 06:41

Crowdo Hmm. Yeh no biggie for a manchild to stay up drinking all night while he has a heavily pregnant wife and toddler.

Can’t you drive yourself op?

juliesaway · 27/12/2017 06:43

What time have you gone to bed ? Was he up all night drinking alone til 530am? Sounds like he has a drink problem.

LolitaLempicka · 27/12/2017 06:47

I drove throughout my pregnancy. I don't know why I wouldn't?

iamkahleesi · 27/12/2017 06:51

He's being very selfish. Wake him up to see to the dc. I would have just driven myself and enjoyed a peaceful morning shopping but made sure he made up for it the next day!!

Chaosofcalm · 27/12/2017 06:51

LolitaLempicka - everyone’s experience of pregnancy is different.

Yes your DH is being inconsiderate.

LazyDailyMailJournos · 27/12/2017 06:51

One of my sisters had to stop driving at 8 months. The combination of a huge bump and SPD meant that she couldn't comfortably get behind the wheel.

Original poster
Lisaf2015 · 27/12/2017 06:51

I caneed hear the crys of "he has a drink problem" echoing around...but that's not it. He's off work, it's Xmas, he plays video games and has some beer....tbh usually he falls asleep in the chair well before this time!
Tonight has just pissed me off cos we were meant to be out today ....now that's not going to happen. For some reason I've ended up in tears....maybe cos I can't sleep and I'm knackered....and hormonal 😂

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 27/12/2017 06:52

Definitely a big deal.
DH did similar when I was 39w pg, except he was out drinking with his cousin - his "reasoning" was that his uncle could take me to hospital if I went into labour while he was drunk.
I asked him if he expected his uncle to stay with me through the birth as well, while he slept off his hangover?
At that point he understood why I was so pissed off.

AS it happened, I didn't go into labour that night but that's not entirely the point - I could have. His behaviour was thoughtless, selfish and stupid - and so is your DH's.

Figgygal · 27/12/2017 06:52

He is wrong to take that chance however don't see the issue re: you driving today u less you have spd or other issue?

Oh and yabu re: ds he's 2 not 27 months that's a ridiculous way to refer to his age at that age

Foodylicious · 27/12/2017 06:58

Nope.
He has been a dick.

I could only drive short distances too near the end of pg so you have my sympathies.

Can you and ds go out for breakfast or something in the morning? Or are you totally out in the sticks?
I hate being in the house when OH is sleeping off a hangover.

Original poster
Lisaf2015 · 27/12/2017 07:00

Figgygal I'm sorry you don't "see the issue" on me driving 2 hours round trip to the hospital alone when he's the one who needs to know where it is ?! What would be the point....we were meant to be going together 👺
Plus...if I want to refer to DS as 27months or 2 years or even in number of days ....that's my prerogative

OP posts:
LolitaLempicka · 27/12/2017 07:03

Your case is slightly different though. You have a planned c-section. So you probably won't have a mad dash to an unknown hospital. Couldn't you just leave earlier on the actual day? Do you really need to do a practice run if it is uncomfortable for you?

chestylarue52 · 27/12/2017 07:06

Do you not have sat nav on your phone?

speakout · 27/12/2017 07:08

He sounds quite a catch.

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