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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is DH staying upower til 530 reasonable?

67 replies

Lisaf2015 · 27/12/2017 06:22

I'm booked in for c section on 3rd Jan...tho that doesn't mean baby won't make an appearance early 😉 we have a 27 month DS and live out in the sticks....currently (but that's a whole different thread!)
If I was to go into labour it's an hours drive to hospital.....we were meant to be driving there tomorrow as haven't actually been to see where it is yet, then doing a little shopping as we've friends popping over and we need a xmas gift....just in case! Lol
Anyway, DH has a "games room" as he collects retro video games etc.....and tonight it's got to 530am and he's still in there drinking ! I've been awake since 3 cos I'm so uncomfortable, with baby kicking, needing to wee, cramp etc.....I can't sleep 😣
After arguing that it's unreasonable to still be up drinking at 530 blah blah....I've been in tears for last hour and am on the sofa. He's gonna be still over the limit to drive anywhere tomorrow morning so that's pissed me off.....plus even tho I've had no sleep - and not through choice like him, I'll be the one having to get up with DS 😣

Is he or am I being unreasonable...plus theres the whole what if I went into labour??

OP posts:
Original poster
Lisaf2015 · 27/12/2017 08:34

Thanks ladies 😉
By the way....it was his idea to do the practice run to the hospital - not mine 😀
He used to behave like this more before we had DS but now has a games night once a week, which as I said usually results in him falling asleep in front of the TV 😂

I'd send DS upstairs...but it won't make a difference....

OP posts:
Sofabitch · 27/12/2017 08:38

A grown man with a games room...your married to a man child. Id be handing him his child to look after and calling a taxi to take myself on the hospital tour

Coulddowithanap · 27/12/2017 08:39

Was he drunk? Cos drinking all night could mean sinking eight cans and being drunk as a skunk or a far more acceptable half a bottle of wine or a couple cans of cider. Also did he possibly stop drinking before midnight and just stay up playing his games? As he might not have been too drunk to drive by morning.

This
When my husband or I game we may have a couple of beers but don't get drunk. Also when playing a new game it's easy to stay up extra late without really realising especially if you have missions to do and just keep thinking 'just one more before bed' (although 5:30 is a bit extreme!)

Santasbigredbobblehat · 27/12/2017 08:39

YANBU.

WorkingBling · 27/12/2017 08:47

Dh sometimes stays up late. But ... he still accepts responsibilities thennext morning and if it's his turn to get Up with Kids he does. Or if we have plans, we carry on. If your dh is too drunk or tired to do that, then yes, he IBU. It's completely unacceptable and I don't blame you for being furious.

hodgeheg92 · 27/12/2017 08:52

Him being over the drink drive limit when you're heavily pregnant and an hour from the hospital is completely unreasonable.

I think you should ask him how you'd get there if something happened now. My DH hasn't had more than one beer since I was 36 weeks (we had a scare at this point and he decided then) and we've only got a 15 minute drive to the hospital.

mumoseven · 27/12/2017 08:59

I would wait till he's asleep and then start doing some noisy nesting stuff. Hoovering, loud bathroom cleaning, bedroom rearranging

Mumto2two · 27/12/2017 09:06

Sorry OP, your OH sounds very immature. As for the helpful posters asking why you don't drive yourself, they are clearly basing their opinions on their own experiences, and are not considering the wider issue here. I also drove throughout my pregnancy, and commuted on trains & tubes up until my due week with my first child, however it was completely different with my 2nd. And let's not forget the spontaneous arrivers...my sister gave birth to her 2nd child within 30minutes, and did not even have time to make it to the car!!

BeyondThePage · 27/12/2017 09:08

He is a selfish twat... so you need a back up plan - please don't say that you are relying on him to get you to hospital if you go into early labour. You cannot, he is not good enough.

Make that back up plan - seriously. You cannot rely on him, make sure you can get to hospital whatever time of day or night.

JustAnotherPoster00 · 27/12/2017 09:09

Him being over the drink drive limit when you're heavily pregnant and an hour from the hospital is completely unreasonable.

If only we had some sort of transport provided by hospitals in this country, if we had I'd make them bright yellow with flashing blue and red lights so that they can get through traffic, hope somebody invents it soon Hmm

Katedotness1963 · 27/12/2017 09:10

He's being selfish.

SleepingInYourFlowerbed · 27/12/2017 09:15

JustAnotherPoster00 relying on the completely overstretched ambulance service to get her to hospital when in labour because he fancied getting drunk is unreasonable Hmm

Foodylicious · 27/12/2017 09:21

Just another
Totally irresponsible to (plan to) use an ambulance as a means of transport in a non medical emergency.
Normal labour is not an emergency and the resources of trained medical staff and equipment (aka an ambulance/emergency vehicle) is better used elsewhere

Totally irresponsible of the OH to be over the limit when he is the planned means of transport, which he is or there would have been no need for the dummy run planned today. .

letsdolunch321 · 27/12/2017 09:31

WTF is wrong with some posters ...... Do you not read the whole thread ????

This poster is heavily pregnant that means sometimes you feel very uncomfortable, chances are her seatbelt is a strain to wear, she has to stop for wees as the baby is pushing on her bladder etc etc

What makes a sane person think this lady wants to drive anywhere feeling like this!?! Maybe some people have to but out of choice this lady doesn’t want to.

Basically I would let dh sleep for 3 hrs max then get him up with a cold water spray and make him move his arse in the diection of trail run to the hosp & shops.

His problem
If he is tried later

lurkingnotlurking · 27/12/2017 09:33

That games room wouldn't last long around me with that selfish, immature behaviour

LemonShark · 27/12/2017 09:47

JustAnotherPoster00 Completely unreasonable to rely on ambulance to get you to hospital when they're so stretched already even people in fatal car crashes might not be got to for 30-60 minutes (happened to someone I know).

Not sure I see the need for a dummy run though unless you're using actual paper maps? If you have a sat nav it's just as easy to put the address into that and it'll direct you there, don't even have to be a confident driver. He's not gonna remember an exact route so far away from one trip anyway! Google maps for smartphone is the one I use, so handy.

yippyyappy · 27/12/2017 14:00

No wonder the NHS is on its arse if that's how people treat it. Hmm

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