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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask for positive stories re: babies and sleep??

61 replies

ethelfleda · 27/12/2017 03:13

My ebf 8 week old just doesn't seem to want to sleep. I know he is still so young and needs feeding regularly but so far tonight it's been every hour. I haven't slept and I feel like crap. I know this goes with the territory but I am finding it hard to stay positive and to believe that it will get better and he will eventually sleep longer stretches! He has only ever gone 5 hours without a feed once... is this normal??
Can anyone please make me feel better with positive stories of babies that all of a sudden slept for 8 hours by 12 weeks or something??

OP posts:

honeysucklejasmine · 27/12/2017 03:17

My DD suddenly slept through at about 3 months, ashas done since, bar illness. (She's 22 months now).

DS is 13 weeks and gradually lengthening his sleep. From about 3 hours between feeds to 5, and a few times 7-9 hours. We've had a bit of a regression the last few days but heading in right direction again now. Do you have support in the day tomorrow so you can nap?

Sugarcoma · 27/12/2017 03:28

So normal and so fucking hard. Months 1-3 were the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.

But yes it absolutely gets better. DS started going for slightly longer stretches around 3.5 months which made things more bearable (ie 3-4 hours rather than 1.5) and we co-slept which also helped.

If there’s anyone who can hold the baby during the day so you can nap for an hour or two take them up on it. And if possible take shifts with your partner through the night.

Original poster

ethelfleda · 27/12/2017 03:29

Thanks for your reply. I do have support but have so much to do tomorrow I may not have the chance. Plus, I've turned in to a shit sleeper myself! I used to be able to fall asleep on a washing line but now, it's like when I get chance to nap/lie in... I'm under that much pressure to actually sleep that I can't sometimes! I love DS to bits but just wish I could see a positive end to this sleep deprivation!

OP posts:

TheBlueMeaniesAreComing · 27/12/2017 03:46

It does get easier and they do sleep longer eventually. My little nurseling is 16 months and sleeps great now, just a shame I can’t say the same 🤣 my two breastfed babies were/are my better sleepers. My oldest was formula fed. He’s almost 7 and is still a nightmare to get to sleep. I hope you get a chance to rest/sleep tomorrow and that baby’s cluster session settles back down

Original poster

ethelfleda · 27/12/2017 04:29

Thank you. I hope so too! It's bloody hard work! As you can see, he is awake again

OP posts:

WhoAteAllthePercyPigs · 27/12/2017 05:23

Another one awake all night with my 7 week DS so feel your pain! I've had about two hours broken sleep, he's been restless since 12.45. Exhausted and tearful! I do have a DD who was also a poor sleeper for two years (sorry) but she's now 2.5 and asleep in her own room. So that did get better but Tbf she was a bit of an exception - most babies do start to improve much sooner than that.

Come join our non sleepers thread on the sleep forum! Lots of support there.

I'm just waiting till 5.30 then I'm passing DS to DH who is on leave right now.

It will pass but it's brutal while it lasts! for us both..

Daffodils07 · 27/12/2017 08:18

I wish I could tell you it will get easier, it may do but unfortunately my 2 year old (2 in a few weeks) still wakes up ever hour for bf!
I have tried literally everything even sleep nurse has and nothing has worked so far.

BahBumHug · 27/12/2017 08:32

I think they have a development spurt about then don’t they? And they feed much more (about broke me each time mine did this!). Have you got the wonder weeks app? It predicts when they are about to have a spurt and explains all the things they will be learning?
Both of mine were sleeping well by 12 weeks. They’d be in bed for 7 ish, wake once abou 2 for a feed then sleep through to 6ish. DS was then up for the day, DD would go back off until 9-10am (they were born the wrong way round so I have never benefited from this as was always awake with DS ).
Both ebf

cathf · 27/12/2017 08:53

It is entirely normal (and soul destroying) for an eight-week-old baby to wake often during the night, although I would say every hour is quite extreme.
It is not normal for a two-year-old and I think the pp still getting up to BF her child at that age needs to get some boundaries in place!

Hazandduck · 27/12/2017 08:59

Could you express some milk so your partner could maybe do a couple of the feeds in the night so your sleep isn’t quite so broken? My DD is 5 weeks old and we’ve been doing this since the start to help get more sleep. She does have days where she feeds every hour but it has been during the day which I found exhausting in itself, let alone at night, I really feel for you :( x

Figgypuddingandcustard · 27/12/2017 09:24

It's very difficult when they wake every hour, I've a poor sleeping ebf baby. Have you ruled out any problems such as colic, CMPA, reflux? Mine would fall asleep, then wind would wake him up he'd then want to comfort feed, causing more pain and more wake ups, it was CMPA and everything improved after I stopped eating dairy. It might be worth talking to your hv. Things I have found that have helped is making sure I get enough milk in the baby during the day so DS is not wanting to feed all night, co sleeping through the worst times and as he's got older not letting him sleep in the evenings so he sleeps when I sleep.

SleepyHeadThisTime · 27/12/2017 09:24

What are your sleeping arrangements? Mine was like this so I got a full sized cot, took the side off and lashed it to my bed with bungees. The cot was level with my bed so I could feed him lying down in his cot - I got to snooze while feeding and we both had our own space. It's hard but they do start sleeping better around 3 months.

haveacupofteaandamincepie · 27/12/2017 09:27

Aw god it's hell on earth isn't it. The 4 month sleep regression almost broke me. It calms down a bit after that

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 27/12/2017 09:28

It’s tough ! Mine are now sat at the table eating and watching you tube but the misery of the newborn days is still there

It’s NORMAL that’s all I can say . Someone said that for EBF the breast is a meal , a drink , a snack and a comfort . Baby is still in the stage when it’s used to the womb .

This too shall pass

I co slept in a double with DS2 and that made things much easier as I rolled the boob out , dozing fed him and then rolled back

It’s hard and I remember imbibing coffee cakes and being very very tired and a bit depressed

Bbbbbbbb2017 · 27/12/2017 09:33

My 3 year old has slept through every night for the last week. Prior to this it has been 3 hours of hourly

JaniceBattersby · 27/12/2017 09:37

It’s completely normal. It’s also normal for you to sleep more lightly once you have children because of the biological urge for you to need to wake for them in case of an attack by marauding lions. You just get used to it. I was a very deep sleeper, at least 9hours per night, before kids. I’ve now not had a full night in seven years and have coslept with four terrible sleepers. I cope fine. You will too.

mistermagpie · 27/12/2017 09:49

I have a positive and a negative that I can put a positive spin on!

DS1 - same as yours. Slept through the night 7pm to 7am from 12 weeks and has done ever since (he's 2.5 now). It was like somebody flicked a switch. Hang in there, it can happen!

DS2 - the worlds shittest sleeper. Is 9 months old and has slept through just once. Most nights we are up 2-3 times with him still. But do you know what? As bad as it sounds, you just sort of get used to it. He is very very slowly getting better (we used to be up every hour until quite recently) and I never thought I could manage with so much broken sleep but I do and it's fine. If I didn't also have a toddler it would be easier though! From about 4 months he stopped needing held to sleep so that's something and he started napping pretty well. Again, hang in there! Even the crappest sleepers do improve and you get better at coping with it.

SunnyCoco · 27/12/2017 10:02

Months 1-3 are the fourth trimester and it’s really really Difficult.
Mine was ebf too and bang, at 4
Months she started sleeping through 12 hrs a night and has done so for the next three years
Good luck x

Beamur · 27/12/2017 10:04

If you have support, get them to do stuff like cleaning, laundry etc, so you're free to feed your baby and nap when you can.
You're still healing from giving birth too, so this time is very tiring but it will pass. As babies get bigger they usually sleep more as their tummies are able to take more food so they don't get hungry quite as quickly.

Kingsclerelass · 27/12/2017 10:14

Mine slept through from about 14 weeks.
Once asleep, I could Hoover under the cot, nothing woke him.

Now he's nine he sleeps less than I do. I am shattered.

GirlcalledJames · 27/12/2017 10:19

I have a nine week old dd who has just started sleeping seven hours at night without waking up, then she'll nap for another hour or two to finish off the night. So an improvement might be just around the corner. She has also suddenly developed deep and reliable morning and afternoon naps, so in the afternoon we sleep at the same time.

Loverunandwine · 27/12/2017 10:19

Yes totally normal and it does get better, is DS putting on weight/lots of wet nappies etc? Eg getting enough milk.

I would try for a feed at night to strip him off a bit (trying to make him as alert as you can with a baby that age) and therefore hopefully he’ll take more milk. Often when there warm and snuggled next to you they fall asleep pretty quickly.

Ilovecamping · 27/12/2017 10:20

Have my sympathies.
DD1 - slept well when breastfed then at 5 weeks had to put her on a bottle, never settled properly till over 3 years old. I took the advice of my Health Visitor and when baby slept I laid down even if I couldn't sleep.
DD2- had to wake her to feed, went through night at 7 weeks, you hear about babies like this and think it can't happen.

When youngest grandson was born by caesarean I used to sit with him in the day so DD could catch up with sleep, her MIL went in and did the cleaning.
If someone offers help take it.

Original poster

ethelfleda · 27/12/2017 12:04

Thanks all. DS HAS loads of wet nappies and a dirty one every other day. Last time he was weighed he had jumped up a centile so that's good.
Was good to read some positive stories. Bearing in mind I got about 3 hours of broken sleep last night I don't feel too bad. He was actually a better sleeper when he was younger believe it or not so maybe this is just part of his 2nd wonder week. Things always look better in the morning - I think it's hard to be positive at 4am!

OP posts:

mistermagpie · 27/12/2017 12:43

My terrible sleeper got worse and worse after about 12 weeks, he didn't actually start that badly!

What I would say is that a long-term really bad sleeper is actually not all that common. I know loads of people with Babies and young children and only one of them has had a sleeper like mine. Most sleep pretty well by about six months so don't worry too much.

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