To ask for positive stories re: babies and sleep??

[ethelfleda]

My ebf 8 week old just doesn't seem to want to sleep. I know he is still so young and needs feeding regularly but so far tonight it's been every hour. I haven't slept and I feel like crap. I know this goes with the territory but I am finding it hard to stay positive and to believe that it will get better and he will eventually sleep longer stretches! He has only ever gone 5 hours without a feed once... is this normal??
Can anyone please make me feel better with positive stories of babies that all of a sudden slept for 8 hours by 12 weeks or something??

Have you read my actual post? I have done everything to sort this out!
Even the sleep nurse has tried and nothing has worked.
Unfortunately very rarely you can try everything and nothing bloody helps.

And that was in response to Cathf

You have my utmost sympathy op.

Currently dealing with 3 week old DD who sleeps all day and parties all night. She settled at 2am last night, which is better than what we've had . On the worst nights she won't settle to sleep at all. Have a toddler too.

I have had a baby who magically started sleeping five hour stretches at about 15 weeks old and carried on sleeping reliably in 4-5 hour stretches until toddlerhood. I have no idea what I did to cause this, but it was great.

I also had a baby who woke for hours at a time and frequently, this one never magically did anything. First slept a four hour stretch at four years old after trying just about everything you could think of and breaking our entire family.

Consequently I’m of the opinion that you get what you get (and I hope you get a good one!)

co-sleeping worked brilliantly for me - I was still able to get rest while feeding!

My two both started sleeping for 10-11 hours a couple of months into weaning (6 months child one and 8 months child two). No major blips after apart from molars coming through and illness. Introduced a formula feed from about 3 months with both of them so DH could do a night feed and I could get a few solid hours sleep. Didn’t want to use formula but didn’t get on with expressing and sleep was a priority over principles at that stage.

Good luck, it won’t last forever.

You have my sympathy! The first couple of months were just a blur of hourly wake ups and tummy troubles. It will get easier though! We had a super bad sleeper (as was I as a baby!) so I only came out of the sleep deprived fog when baby was 10 months old and started sleeping through and having ok naps. But a lot of the mums in my mummy groups said their babies were sleeping A LOT better after 3-4 months. Hang in there! Like you I thought it would never get better (especially as my parents said I pretty much kept them up until I was 7 YEARS old) but it did! Baby is now just under 12 months and sleeps really well minus a couple of nap related hiccups recently. I put it down to a decent routine and not letting him get too overtired. But you'll work out what works for you.

Sorry, should have said that I put the maintenance of decent sleep down to routine. He fixed his own sleep (with very gentle sleep training) and now we're just trying keep it up by focusing on good naps and routine. Can't say that anything we did initially made a difference to his sleep.

I know how you feel it’s so hard isn’t it! My 1st was a great sleeper really easy baby in general my 2nd (now 18 Months) is hard in every way possible a good night is only getting up 4-6 times a bad night can be every 20 mins we have tried everything and thought of every excuse under the sun to why she is doing this! She is a very happy/ clever toddler that only seems to need 2/3 hours sleep before she’s ready to go for the day again it’s exhausting physically and mentally especially when working 12 hour shifts, She wakes the whole house up (even my neighbours at times) sometimes crying, moaning, laughing, calling us, playing peek a boo with her duvet, fingers, toes it’s all fun and games to her at 2am 😢

My DS is 12 weeks and EBF. Up until week 10 he was awake every two and a half hours on the dot, day and night.

For the past two weeks (except for one night when he had a cold) he has slept 12-7!!!

Miracles can happen OP

my eldest now finds it hard to get out of bed and my youngest is finally going at a decent time and sleeping through to a decent time- they are 18 & 13......my youngest has slept from 11-4:30-5am from 3 months......you do survive though!

My daughter's 5 months formula fed. She had 10oz (normally has 6) and has woken every hour for more. I'm going to start weaning her both of us are miserable.

Baby is 8 days old. Hates the Moses basket despite trying 'the tricks' (muslin which has been down my top, swaddling etc) and won't settle to co sleep either. Will sleep fine in basket or on bouncy chair in the day but at night it's my chest or nada. Which means I can't go to sleep. I've got a toddler I've barely seen since she was born and the guilt is weighing heavy. Baby has been up since 2am cluster feeding so I'm hoping the 10 day growth spurt has come early. Like you I can't sleep on demand and she screams if she's with anyone else at the moment so stuck between a rock and a hard place and totally feeling your pain! Even a 2 hour stretch would be lovely!

Sleep deprivation is beyond awful, you're allowed to find it tough. My ebf babies slept 7 hours at night from 6 weeks and then 4 weeks. Your baby will get better at sleeping, but until he does just do what it takes to survive.

**daffodils07 that sounds horrendous! Obviously it's totally your choice but I'm curious as to why you haven't stopped breastfeeding your two year old as it would seem to me the obvious way to stop such an awful situation and get you both the sleep you need.

I'm getting my own back now they are teenagers......

The effortless sleep method bookhelped my insomnia in those early days. Mine got better around three months then a lot worse up to around a year. She's still waking up once or twice aged 2 1/2 after a few weeks of sleeping through. It's very easy to tell people who are bf to just stop to help with sleep, however this doesn't take into account the complex way that bf is part of your emotional relationship and how difficult it can be to explain weaning to a 2 year old. They are trying to take their child's emotional needs into account and telling them to just stop is very simplistic rather than supportive.

My son was bottle fed but still woke every 1.5 Hours for a feed for the first six months! I was like a zombie and doubted my decision to become a mum. BUT it does get easier and I wish I could go back knowing this... they do sleep, the winding does end and the great moments gradually outweigh the rubbish ones. Hand in there! Xxx

One of mine started sleeping through for 8 hours at 11 weeks! Without us really doing anything either. Was ff, so different to you, but I have heard a few times on here of bf babies doing similar.

They eventually sleep...my 3 slept through at 4 months, 7 months & 10 months....

Dc4 is 3 months old and feeds every 3 hours...not even close to sleeping through 😴😴😴

I’m bfing and giving 1 bottle of formula a day (from 6 weeks and has made no difference to her sleeping pattern)...

Daffodils I hear you - my 2yr old still wakes to feed. Not as bad as hourly but a couple of times through the night. We co-sleep and tbh it's just a case of surviving at the moment.

I think people who've not lived it will never get it. We spent 18 months battling dd's sleep trying to mold her into behaving a way that people thought she ought to behave and it just didn't work, all it caused was stress, misery and extreme sleep deprivation for everyone (including our lovely neighbours).

I firmly believe her terrible sleep is mostly linked to teething so hopefully once these last molars are through along with the development of her understanding we can tackle it effectively and appropriately for her.

To anyone who thinks we're shit parents - no one tries harder than the parents of bad sleepers to solve their issues. Keep your judgy comments to yourself.

I remember this bit sooooo well. It’s truly terrible. I was hallucinating due to being so tired.

However- my two started sleeping through by 6 months ds1 and 9 months ds2. It does happen- it feels like it never will at the start I know.

Eat lots of chocolate to keep fuelled.

Eight weeks is the hardest point IMO, it was so hard with DS (now 3), he just never seemed satisfied however much I fed him! But by 12 weeks he was like a different baby, reliable 4hr stretches, feeds got quicker, BFing suddenly seemed brilliant!
DD (12 weeks) has been a champion sleeper from about 9 weeks - she’s EBF and I’ve just woken up from an 11pm-8am sleep! She’s been doing 11-6am for a week now. Downside is rock boob in the morning, but it’s wirth it!
DD feeds very frequently in the day to compensate for long stretches at night, she eats every 2-3hrs, so she still gets in 10 feeds a day usually. It might be worth trying popping your LO on more during the day time if they’re showing any signs of wanting it?? Good luck, it will get better!

Whilst I appreciate your desperation, asking for positive stories may not be good for your mental state... each baby is so different and what anyone else's baby does has no relation to yours. I sometimes find that hearing positive stories makes it worse as it makes expectations higher and everything becomes more frustrating. It might get better tomorrow but it could equally take months.

I think finding ways to cope with what's currently happening could be a better approach!

For me, cosleeping was the only way I was able to get any sleep (baby didn't sleep longer than 15-20 minute stretches until 5 months and feeding was the only way to get him back to sleep). It meant my partner couldn't sleep in the bed with us as I was paranoid about baby suffocating, but him sleeping on the sofa was a small price to pay given the situation.

Another thing that helped was sleeping baby on his front (not recommended I know, but without doing that he wouldn't even manage those miserly 15-20 mins).

A white noise machine might help too- due to baby waking so much, I had to learn to sleep whilst feeding him lying on my side. I'm a terrible, light sleeper at the best of times and even more so when overtired... I found the white noise/womb sounds really helped me drift back off to sleep, so even if it doesn't work for your baby it may still help you relax!

If you have a partner, have them look after the baby before they go to work (for instance) to allow you a little more sleep before you start the day. I was never able to nap when baby napped but I sometimes could fall back to sleep briefly in the morning. If you're able to nap when baby naps, definitely do it! Forget cleaning etc for the time being, just do what's absolutely necessary and leave the rest, rest as much as possible.

It will get better, nobody can say when, but it will!